Naruto: Altered Eyes of the Family
by Crossoverpairinglover
Summary: Kushina is believed dead after the Kyuubi attack, but somehow survives. However, she finds herself with new eyes. How did she return? What will be the future for them? Rinnegan Kushina. Rinnegan Naruto, though I will avoid making paths. How will canon change. KushinaXfemharem, NarutoXharem, no KushinaXNaruto. Kakashi, Sasuke, some Konoha bashing, good Sakura, takes fan ideas
1. The Death and Return of Kushina

My fans of Mysterious Power, Last Vampiress and more behold the new Naruto story, the final of the trinity of tales that feature revolving good members of Team 7.

First Mysterious Power's good Kakashi

Then Last vampiress's good Sasuke

This fic will have a good Sakura in the harem...who will have reason to not be herself as seen in part 1, and also to get the complaints out of the way now, Hinata is also in it. However, before the complaints come as they have before, this Hinata will not be her canon self...as completly as the other two Hinata's I've done.

This Hinata will take a few ques off Road to Ninja. Erm...well she won't be a Hinata who beats Neji for being a Jiraiya and won't be the kind of Hinata who'd probably rape Naruto in his sleep...but some qualities will be used.

But, enough with dealing with the inevitable flames, TO THE STORY

_'The Afterlife'_

Kushina was a lovely looking, action girl with slender form and red hair the color of the deepest of tomatos (Bring up the fruit around her at your own peril), that was divided into many strands. Her eyes were blue and her skin fair.

And she was quite lost. One moment she had been stabbed in the stomach by the claw of the Kyuubi that had been previously sealed within her, then released by the masked 'Madara', to protect her newborn son.

And now, she was in a poor area of town that looked so far behind technologically and culturally it made some war torn areas of home look nice.

It was filled with rag wearing, desperate people.

It was only then she noticed a ticket in her hand.

_Welcome, newly deceased to District 80, Zaraki. Enjoy death. Soul Society_

At that, Kushina screamed in horror...as the sky turned red.

"_NARUTO_!" so went the scream of the heartbroken mother

_'The Afterlife'_

Just as Kushina was screaming in horror at being stuck in the soul society, she found herself, at the very same time, she found herself in a far more...advanced place.

A waiting room, filled with hundreds of see through people, while some of music was playing in the background. The room was steel gray, an elavator was in the background that seemed to be going down, down, down to what seemed to be the center of the earth, and on the front door, which she nor anyone else here could seem to get near, had a sign that said

_ NO SOLICITORS. NO LOITERING. NO LIVING_

The place had a name, DOA Recording Studios.

At that, Kushina once again screamed in horror...as the sky turned red through the window

"_NARUTO_!" so went the scream of the heartbroken mother once again.

_A few dozen assorted afterlifes, screams and traumas later_

"NARUTO!" Kushina burst out of...was that even a series of nightmares(?)...to find herself in a cold room...filled with motionless bodies, the victims of the Kyuubi's controlled rampage.

A morgue?

Though Kushina quickly checked her pulse, showing that she was alive, though she gave out a heart wrenching yelp when she saw her dead husband beside her, one question was on her mind, even as minute flickers of pain seemed to center around her eyes.

Where was her son? Where was Naruto? His Godfather wouldn't be back for a week so he wouldn't have him...(A thought that both comforted and worried her...)

Kushina was aware that Minato did intend to seal the Kyuubi into Naruto, a process that Kushina believed she had died to allow to happen. Not only did it give Naruto a way to be protected from the masked man who attacked, but it also kept the Kyuubi from, had her plan of resealing the beast into her supposedly dying body been done, the beast would have reincarnated somewhere else, and not only likely kill thousands but be in the reach of the masked man again.

And it would have attacked Konoha, again. No matter what, it was a bad scenario.

Perhaps Hirizen had him? After all, its not like anyone would know he was a jinchuriki...few knew she was after all.

"What in Kami's name..." she turned to see a eye glass wearing, thin, black wearing and black haired diener, or a person who operated a morgue, blink at her in shock as he walked in "How the hell are you alive!? You had a giant hole in your stomach"

Ignoring the eye pain that had gotten worse with each traumatic realization of death (in dream...maybe) she had, and the sight of her dead husband, Kushina frowned.

"I'm a fast healer" she said dryly, one of the very few good things about being a Jinchuriki was increased healing. The list of negatives was so long the author could write an entire 2000 word chapter on them. "Where's my son?"

Grumbling, the diener adjusted his glasses as he took out a sheet of paper...a casualty list "Hmmm, got a list of all the last minute, recorded and verified declarations, wills and relations here...name"

She would have loved to say Namikaze Uzumaki Kushina, but the day of their wedding a Iwa army had attacked the border, and Minato was forced to postpone. Normally such a delay would have meant nothing to the Yellow Flash, but the ninja leading the Iwa army was Roshi, the Jinchuriki of the Yonbi.

That day he got the title, only Iwa ninja to survive an encounter with her husband and fight him on equal terms.

So, due to that and some lava based wounds, the wedding ended up delayed...to a week after today.

"My name is Kushina Uzumaki, fiance..."

"YOUR RELATED TO THE DEMON!" he was suddenly very harsh and nasty sounding.

Demon...oh no

Faster than a Nara from work, a Akamichi to a feast or a Inuzuka from a bath, Kushina sped off, knocking the man over and onto the ground with a hard thump as she ran to find her son before it was too late.

Though as she fled out of the morgue door, knocking the foreyed diener jerk to the ground, no one saw her eyes.

How they briefly flickered to a purple set of rings.

_The Council chamber_

Democracy...can be flawed, though this is true of all government, or lack of it.

"KILL THE DEMON!"

"AVENGE THE YONDIAME!"

It meant that you had to listen to the ravings of majorities and minorities, though in this case it was the former.

While civilians, and quite a few ninja, were screaming for the death of the 'demon', the same thing was going on in the council.

The swearing in of the replacement for the Yondiame, the former Sandiame, would not be until the Daimyo called for it, which due to prior events for the leader of the Land of Fire and damaged to the roads by Kyuubi's rampage, would not be for a fortnight.

Due to this, he lacked the normal influence that the Hokage would have legally, and the civilian council and some members of the Ninja council, were taking advantage of this fact.

In fact, it was probably only due to the old, tanned and grayed man holding the sleeping blond boy (Via a noise deafening barrier around Naruto's sleeping body) that had avoided an assassination attempt, yet

"The demon must be killed!" a civilian council member stated as if it was law.

"You do realize that in doing so, the Kyuubi will escape and most likely come back here to finish what it had started?" Hiashi, a robe wearing, black haired man of severe appearance, stated blandly. His wife, Hitomi, was a friend of the late Kushina, and one of her only two friends who knew she was a Jinchuriki. Thus he had an idea of the workings of the seal.

Her other friend Mikoto Uchiha's husband Fugaku, on the other hand...

"Weaponize it. Give the brat to Danzo" the brown haired jerk commented.

The heavily bandaged Danzo looked up from his staff "You do realize that de emotionalizing Jinchuriki is one of the worst things one could do?"

Killing, isolating or weaponizing the boy would do nothing good for Konoha in the long run.

"SO KILL IT! NO EMOTIONS FOR IT AT ALL!"

"You civilians are a troublesome band of screechers" The scared and dark haired Shikaku Nara woke up for long enough just to say before he fell back to sleep. "You keep proving my general view that chakra increases over all intelligence...what a drag to be proven right" then he'd have to write the report.

"KILL IT DEAD!" A civilian finally decided to get up and approach the Sandiame in a idiot move...before a sudden blur flew in behind him and grabbed him from the neck.

"GET AWAY FROM MY SON!" Kushina snarled, sounding a lot more demonic and dangerous than the one day old with the Kyuubi in him.

"Kushina!?" Sandiame and Hiashi said in shock. They had put her body in the morgue with Mikoto and Hitomi. They checked her pulse...

Yet this wasn't a genjutsu, the council and Hokage's chambers were grafted with anti genjutsu Fuinjutsu by Mito Uzumaki herself in order to ensure no one attempted to deceive her husband.

They still worked, so this was no genjutsu...

The woman who was most likely Kushina dropped the Civilian, who was coughing and crying from the afterthoughts of being choked, as she ran for her son. With some hesitation, Hiruzen handed the boy to her...ready to move if she tried anything.

Though the look in her eyes, of maternal love, was just too damn hard to fake, so for now Hiruzen relaxed.

"YOUR ITS MOTHER!"

Kushina glared at the minor clan who just squaked.

"Yes, I am HIS mother, Kushina Uzumaki, fiance..."

"WE DON'T CARE WHO YOU CLAIM THAT THING WAS SIRED BY! ITS..."

"Can't you just make some declaration or something to shut him up old man!?" Kushina grumbled as the KI from her increased, as did that odd pain in her eyes she kept ignoring with her willpower and shinobi stoic training.

The Sandiame had a grimaced "Even if I do not have power officially for the next few days, I hereby decree that speaking of Naruto Uzumaki's status as a Jinchuriki will be punishable by death, Kushina excluded!" the last one was an afterthought.

"Sandiame...are you sure about this" Koharu harpied. "The boy is too dangerous without more seals on him, failsafes..."

"Failsafes that will not be needed if he has no reason to hate the village, which stopping the spread of malice about him to those his age and to him before he's old enough will prevent'

"You can't enforce that...your not Hokage..." Fugaku sputtered in rage

"True Fugaku, but that doesn't mean that Kushina won't be allowed to defend her son, before or after I am reinstated"

"WE UCHIHA are the Police! We will enforce punishment when due..."

"No Uchiha, you will not. This is a direct order from the Hokage pro tempore, soon to be Hokage in full. As loyal members of the pack, we will follow it" Tsume Inuzuka, the beast woman, and her giant, scared dog companion Kuromaru both growled in agreement.

"Its a troublesome drag, but the Nara, and in place of our missing brothers and sisters in arms the Akamichi and Yamanaka" who were injured by the attack "Stand by it" Shikaku added with a yawn

"Rarely do I agree with Hiruzen...but today I do" Danzo frowned.

"So do the Aburame. We understand Jinchuriki" the trenched coat Shibi Aburame buzzed.

"The Hyuuga stand by it as well" Hiashi finalized as Fugaku and the other Naruto haters looked sick to the stomach.

_Later, Uzumaki home_

The Uzumaki estate had been the living place of Mito Uzumaki following the death of her husband. She had lived there while in Konoha, and Minato had moved in after they got serious due to the fact he lived in a poor apartment.

It had been purposed for the birth of Naruto, meaning she did not have to go into the hate filled streets of Konoha as she placed the still sleeping bundle who was Naruto in its warm folds as the frustrations seemed to radiate off Kushina like gravity.

Why did 'Madara' have to attack? Why did Minato have to die? Why did Konoha had to be filled with all this hate? _Pang_...And why did she keep feeling pain around her eyes.

She clutched her face as the pain that kept harassing her eyes multiplied one hundred fold. Clutching her forehead, she decided that she would take a headache pill and hope this had all been a very, very bad nightmare.

However, once she saw in the mirror what had happened to her eyes...thoughts of sleep left her.

"WHAT THE HELL!"

They were no longer the gentle blue...they were all purple rings.

**So goes chapter 1. What was with the guest appearance of death areas from Bleach and Percy Jackson? Can I manage to make the Rinnegan not a game breaking kekkei genkai? Stay tuned. **


	2. Friends and eyes

Feeling the love! Feeling the love! and it feels good. Also feeling a super storm...and damn power outage!

Faves 58

Alerts 68

C2's 4: Naruto Proper Rewrites, Awesome Naruto stories, Cool Bloodlimit Crossover Naruto and Fanfics I like: they all sound good

Review replies

Bigboss and Demon with gun; First time I have reviewers attack each other...hopefully the last time too, her eyes are a blushing shade but not quite Naruto's, while I have them with those categories because they are the main characters.

Leaf Ranger; Tayuya is possible, though Anko is probably Kushina's, if I use her.

Reishin: Dying by claw impalement then have strange dreams that just happen to look like Bleach's soul society and the entrance to Percy Jackson Hades? Your find out

Dalek; I'll have to see if I find a place I feel they fit first

Percyroxx: I did

Archmage: Hey, nice to see you again. Haven't heard from you in a while

Iamgoku: Gambit Naruto?

Naruhina; The idea of doing that just rubs me the wrong way. Would it really set Sasuke off...yes. But Kushina and Mikoto just seems hotter somehow. I also applaud you for your mature deconstruction of Hinata hate

Volos; There will be reasons shown later in story while Kushina will avoid it entirely.

To chapter 2, and hopefully more

_Konohagakure no Sato, a day later_

Mikoto Uchiha and Hitomi Hyuga were considered two of the hottest moms in Konoha. Both were fair skinned, lovely blueish tinted black haired, well endowed in the chest and not too shabby in the rear, and thus were considered wet dream material by quite a fair few too many teenage members of their clans for either of their likings.

They were also friends of Kushina Uzumaki, and had in part planned on having their children on a team together in the future, a tad eerily in kin to that of the Ino-Shika-Cho families.

Naruto, Hitomi's cute little Hinata Hyuga and the born already brooding like a Uchiha Sasuke Uchiha.

Of course, due to the Kyuubi incident Naruto was currently being treated like a monster by most of the village, and Fugaku gave Mikoto very strict orders not to see Kushina ever again...

Or at least Mikoto's shadow clone. With how much she had to do, how little Fugaku helped or really even got on with her, she had to wonder if he spent most of his days at a gay bar or something.

Just getting Sasuke conceived was a long, long struggle. It involved far too many lavishly made dinners, chores done in advanced and getting a grant to the Uchiha Police by bribing a female member of the civilian council who would have not vote their way with recipes.

You knew something was the matter when Hiashi Hyuga, the clan matched in lack of emotion only by the Aburame, is a more caring husband.

She never really understood why everyone only seemed to have one child. If you wanted your clan to stay strong, why not have more members. That was part of the reason Tsume had two children: Hana and Kiba, and would probably have had more had her husband not mysteriously vanished.

She had sent a shadow clone of her own to ask them to meet her at the Uzumaki home, though she was oddly dressed up.

Why she was wearing shades was unknown: was it really so bad that she had to disguise herself. And if so, why the shades?

When they finally did get there, they found Kushina outside, those shades of hers still on, applying seals onto the outer edge of the wall.

"Hitomi, Mikoto...thank you for coming" she said distractedly as she finished a few strokes.

"What sort of seal was that..." Mikoto, who was a bit less familiar with seals as her eyes weren't as well bred for seeing their intricacies, as a direct chakra seeing Kekkei Genkai like Hitomi's Byukugan.

"Wall strengthening, anti grafiti, repulsion for chakra based vertical surface climbing and regular vertical wall climbing...mosquito repelling too while I'm at it" she turned around and gave a proper, if tired smile as way of greeting to her friends. Obviously the last day of nearly dying and the widespread hate against her son was driving her a little over the edge of overburden.

"Come inside, I need your advice. Before any one sees you" or to be more specific, before a Uchiha person sees Mikoto.

The inside of the house was far more disorderly: organization had never been Kushina' strongest point. The crib containing Naruto was in the family room: obviously in case he grew hungry during their conversation.

It probably also was Kushina wanting to keep Naruto in her sight as much as possible.

Sitting down, ignoring the lack of tea due to the fact that Kushina was overworked enough, they got down to business.

"Kushina...is ss...s...something wrong. Your...b...b...bothered by something that...i...is really big" Hitomi really hoped Hinata did not develop her stuttering problem. Whenever she was worried or bothered by something, she always stuttered "Its not...j...just Yondiame-sama and the f...f...fact you aren't able to say you were m...m...married to him due to how you were delayed"

While in normal conditions the laws of bastard children would be given a slide if the couple was engaged and something like injuries or death prevented marriage, but the way things were even a marriage certificate and ceremony witnessed by the civilian council probably wasn't enough"

"Your right...something is up" Kushina said darkly, tears welling up behind her shades "And its not the Kyuubi's rampage, Minato's death or any of the shit I've had to deal with"

She ripped her shades off her face "Something else happened..."

They gasped at the sight of Kushina's eyes: the once blue eyes were now multiple sets of purple rings.

"Somehow, my eyes changed...I was hoping you guys might know how to turn them back to normal" seeing as they had the two Eye Kekkei Genkai of Konoha: Hitomi's Byukugan and Mikoto's Sharingan. They had to know how to turn them off.

The last thing she needed was to have a Kekkei Genkai. The council would use her as a baby factory, and Naruto would not benefit from that at all.

"Or what the hell these things are..." if she had to wonder what sort of Kekkei Genkai her eyes changed into, these two had to have some idea.

Hitomi was the first to speak "Are...y...you sure its not just that y...y..you might be related to the Y...Y...Yuhi family?" they did look like the red rippled eyes of the Yuhi's, just purple.

Maybe it just meant Kushina was Bi?

"...I thought it was just a fairy tale"

Both the daring red head and the stuttering Hyuga gave Mikoto stunned looks.

"You know what these things are? Why I seem to be able to see layers!" at their confused looks, Kushina explained.

"If I focus, I can see chakra sort of like the Byukugan. Think of it like a dial I control mentally: I can change the mode of which my eyes are able to see things: normally, X-ray, infrared, chakra...but never mind that, what the hell are these things!?"

"The Rinnegan, the eyes of the Sage of the Six Paths himself" Mikoto said in awe. They looked just like how they did in the story book she read Itachi.

"The Sage of the Six Paths...the mythical guy?" Kushina had heard the story too, but was sure it was just a fairy tale. Like Trolls, Aliens or Door to Door Salesmen.

"He was no myth, we have a artifact from him, a tablet in the Uchiha compound, secretly and heavily guarded of course" Mikoto admitted with some hesitation.

"You kept that secret...how?" Kushina had to ask. That sounded like something that could start a war, all the other villages wanting it to gain his secrets.

It was generally known that all the clans had secrets: secret recipes, secret training grounds, secret weapons and of course secret jutsu. It was one of the reason the Civilians distrusted them, they saw that as unfair treatment as they had couldn't have their own training grounds or weapons.

Of course, secrets from the bloodline clans were useless to all others, and its not like most civilians would want the Aburame's secrets. They treated the bug clan in a lesser way they did Naruto now.

"For one thing, its useless unless you have the Sharingan, and even then you can read only part of it. The Rinnegan is said to be able to read it all...but getting you there would be impossible" and it would result in her death for that matter. Fugaku himself would kill her in retaliation

"Any chance you can bring it to me?"

"...Its bigger than a Akamichi and weights about as much" she said dryly.

"Oh..."

"...By no chance do you know what the Rinnegan can actually do? Aside for allowing me to see heat and stuff?"

"That's probably part of the Rinnegan only part. There was a vague mention of god like power...but then again the book was written for civilians and to them, walking on water or breathing fire is god like..."

"So...n...nothing?" Hitomi stuttered. Being the wife of a clan head, and thus partial clan head, was really stressful, which was part of the reason she did stutter.

The Hyuga council was another. Hiashi preferred dealing with the Civilians to dealing with them. And, as she had to deal with them too...she frankly agreed.

Kushina sighed. Did anyone have any freaking idea what these eyes did?

"...Wanted in the West, Beloved in the East, Feared in the North and Respected in the South. The Envy of Men, the Desire of Woman. Renowned Writer, Feared Ninja, Godfather to the Yodiame's son, and Wisest of Sages. He, Is..."

Only one person could make that hammy speech and still be mature, and straight

A huge man in a kabuki get up and white, long hair landed in the Uzumaki house

"JIRAIYA!"

Expecting applause, he instead found three definitions of MILF (Who he'd love to add to his book series) starring at him in disturbed silence: a Byukugan bearing Main Branch Hyuga maiden, a Uchiha and his student's lovely red haired, Rinnegan life.

He paled at the last one.

"NAGATO'S GHOST!"

"Who?"

**Back up feature!**

**This is not a omake, but a side part of the story. Those who read my Mysterious Power note and teaser on this story may recall that a certain mythological hero named Beowulf will appear, but with a connection to a previous character.**

**Can anyone figure out whom? Note that Beowulf will appear in the story proper later, but until then I will build him up. Note, I am being purposely vague of the circumstances to keep people guessing. **

The sounds of hounds, howling on the trail of their target echoed through the canyon walls, only intensified the fear and terror the poor girl's heart felt as she ran, barefoot away from them.

However, her old whipping wounds were slowing her down, as did her baby brother on her back. For every foot she managed to climb through the mountainous, uneven terrain, the hounds made 4 yards.

Her full days head start might not even be enough.

The booming noise that rebounded from a gun striking the tree next to her only made that more evident.

"COME BACK HERE YOU RUNAWAY..." the Overseer, who was at command of the dogs, had his blasting weapon ready to fire another lethal blast...before his dogs suddenly whimpered in fear.

"You know, where I come from, we don't hunt the young, but then again, who ever said you inbreed, self importance deluded political types were decent humans" a shadowed figure stood on a tree branch, the dying light of the day hiding his definite form from sight. For some reason, the dogs didn't want to be near him...they feared him.

Like how man fears God.

"I am Beowulf, bigoted scum. Now, prepare to die"

"What's some equality for these here mud..."

He had little time to finish his sentence before said bigot died, his dogs fleeing from the being in terror as Beowulf jumped down to the poor girl who did not choose to be tortured from those who were bigoted and hateful.

"Come with me, young one. You and the little one will be welcome in the city"


	3. A responsible Jiraiya? This is not good

Faves 77

Alerts 87

C2's 4

Review replies

61394: Do keep an eye of Beo, he has importance

Edboy; Its the basic idea

Reishin; Glad to hear it

Bigboss; There will be non heterosexual reporudction at some point, but not single person reproduction

Leaf; Glad to see everyone found his reaction as intended, humorous

Darkyrus: I am still figuring out members

Aspy: I can't really do hat, as I lack the time to. ALso, I reiterate how I will not write incest

Naruhina: Why do you think I don't read his fics all that often?

Ever see the SVU episode Anchors? I personally see that as the perfect well meaning extremist. No, I do not mean the guy who choked immigrant children to death with a chain, but the pro immigrant talk show host who defended 'Joe Faggot' (Erm, never got his actual name). He had a KKK nut for a father and the way he acted made him view all the messed up immigrant/ minority/ anything that isn't them haters as mentally brainwashed lower forms of life. Which isn't exactly untrue, but I personally would have seen the guy...given the worst punishment in NY. Said guy was not evil, just as the Buddhists called it, a possessor of 'idiot compassion' .

I try to keep villains somewhat well. Sasuke is a nasty piece of work like most, but unlike most writers, I remembers the fact that he is skilled. But a true well intentioned extremist...I wonder if I could pull one off here

But, enough with the drabble

_Uzumaki Home_

"Nagoto? Whose Nagato!?" Kushina demanded. The words that came out of Jiraiya's mouth were 30% serious, 10% good teachings and 60% perversity.

Him saying a female name like that would not have been as obvious of something being wrong as him using a MALE name. It was well known among Konoha that Jiraiya having interest in men was one of the signs of the end.

Orochimaru getting a tan and a Nara winning a marathon (Or even participating in one willingly without any forced hands) were other signs.

"You have his eyes..."

"WHAT!?"

"You knew someone who had the Rinnegan, said to have godly power!" Mikoto began in horror

"It does, I saw what someone with no ninjutsu experience could do with it. I taught him all that he knew, which wasn't near enough. Hanzo saw to that..."

So he was from Amegakure, the Hidden Rain Village.

Hitomi interrupted Jiraiya's moping over the dead Rinnegan kid.

"Jira...Jiraiya-Sama" she was the only one there who did not see him as just a absolute pervert: she saw him as the pervert who wrote the Hyuga families secret library. "Are yo...you saying you know t...things about the Rinnegan? C...can it use Godlike power"

"Yes I do, and as to god like power...well again the kid wasn't a Ninja when I found him so he didn't have Kushina's experience and had to be taught from scratch. Though to his defense, he picked up things at a crazy pace. I only was with him a year, but he was probably already as strong as a Tobektsu Jonnin by then. He was able to use all five forms of release: Fire, Water, Earth, Lighting and Wind, and at one point managed to create a crater and shoot a missile out of his arm...though neither of us have any idea how it happened. He also had immense chakra levels...sort of like yours Kushina..."

"Mine?"

"Well, now that I think about it, he did have red hair..."

"ARE YOU SAYING HE WAS A UZUMAKI..."

"Uzugakure was only destroyed at the initiation of the last war in a blitz attack. He was the son of Uzumaki's who were not ninja who left as merchants. You know as well as I do that a lot of the non chakra Uzumaki were like this, it prevented the state of things that exist in...other clans" he averted looking at Mikoto as he said this. Non ninja Uchiha, such as Uruchi and Teyaki Uchiha, were made into second class citizens with less likelihood of happiness or contentment than branch house Hyuga.

They at least were ninja, mostly. Even then, the non ninja servants were treated about the same way as the ninja branchers.

"...Bringing him back was not covered in the non fun part of the C.R.A initiative of tracking down members of a thinly populated clan who had left or were sired or descended from illicit liaisons, as chakra possession generally caused the opposite gender to be more attracted to the person, and not just for the scientifically 1/3 larger (at the minumum) size varying external organs.

Some people suspected it was due to the background instincts of humans to seek the strongest mate possible for their offsprings survival like wild animals do. Many, however, find this idea uneasy.

The fun part was far more Jiraiya's cup of tea. Had he not had caught that illness as a child (that caused him to be the deadlast by making him miss important classes), he might have started his own clan by now.

But, fortunately for the large chested of future generations, he could not procreate.

"Though you might be able to find a kid or two of his if you really wanted to, he was the only apprentice of mine to help me in research...or accompany me in 'deeper research'..." Minato was such a disturbingly monogamous man.

"You corrupted a...how old a kid are you talking about..." Mikoto began to rant

"Late genin age..."

"A 14 YEAR OLD!" they were all startled at this, even the Hyuga generally left sex alone until they were 16. Then...well there was a reason the Hyuga had more kids than other clans.

"The ladies liked him apparently...enhanced Stamina and possibly..."

Kushina glared at him before he could even amend his comment to 'lingerie shopping'.

"HEY...really its not exactly like I had much a choice over the Nagato sex thing, or what will happen next for that matter" Jiraiya countered. At their looks, he frowned "I am a super pervert who enjoys doing and writing about normal sex, threesomes, orgies, lesbians though I don't personally have feelings for the other way, though I have nothing but respect for those who swing that way, bondage, fetishes and large boobs and asses, but there are some things I do not condone. Rape, bestiality, child porn and incest are among them. When I was with Nagato, I found that his sex drive increased to a point that makes me blush!"

They all gave him a stare that suggested he just saw Tsume pet a cat.

"Nagato had a massive physical need, or perhaps addiction is a better word, to sex. If he hadn't had to spend all his time releasing, he could have easily mastered enough jutsu to fill the scroll of sealing! I didn't want to take Nagato into the red light districts after training at first, but the fact is if I hadn't, he would have eventually snapped and probably raped his friends Yahiko and Konan, and he was raised in a home that was very homophobic if his comments about lesbians were anything to go by! My dislike of child sex is less than my dislike for rape, a lesser of the two evils if you will! Why do you think in mythologies that gods spend most of their time having sex!? Why do you think so many people can use chakra: the Sage of the Six Paths was very, very busy!" and yet people wondered why ninja had trouble reproducing, though at least with them they tried to look outside the family, unlike some other inbred super humans.

Unlike the race of toad and snake people, however, they didn't realize they were all related.

"But I don't feel like I want to have sex..." Kushina defended "Not to mention, I am not a hormonal and crazed teenager like Nagato was..."

"That's the thing, Nagato was a LATE bloomer. He didn't grow a singe armpit hair until about three months after the cravings started. And based on the sage, I highly doubt that being an adult helps at all, probably the opposite really. I normally have a rule about not actually having sex with the loved ones of people I care or once cared about, but considering what potentially will happen if you don't get a release...I'm willing to break that rule" the last part was very, very serious.

Kushina's eyes were wide in horror, a look not exactly missing in her friends either "Are you saying..."

"That you, if you don't keep yourself in check, are a very, very potential danger to Naruto...yes. Nagato may have shown it is possible to rape a ROCK" he had a don't ask look on his face "and I don't want to see babies raped either."

"But...with the village..."

"Hitomi, I am quite aware the village wants Naruto burned on a stake, and that raising him while spying is virtually impossible. But call me strange if I believe that unintentional neglect is worse than repeated rape on children"

Kushina grimaced, before she had a determined look "Believe me Jiraiya...I don't plan on that happening, either of them. I think its about time I break out that gift you sent me when Mina-Kun was swarn in"

Jiraiya blinked in shock "Those were meant as a joke, Minato found my comment about him being 'too busy' and 'consumed by work' as a joke"

"Yeah, but while I normally wouldn't partake in them, its either those toys or me..." she didn't even want to speak about the possibility.

Jiraiya gave her a dark look "Your only stalling yourself, Kushina. Masturbation only kept Nagato in check for so long..."

"And I won't be using that time in vain! I will find a solution to this problem, I have to, DATTEBANE! BELIEVE ME!"

"Kushina, you said you got over that little tick of yours?" Mikoto pointed out as Kushina prayed Naruto avoid it.

**Beowulf continues**

The dark robed student, having just finished the bath and was now sitting in just his bath robe in his bedroom, was caught up in great thought, even as the storm outside raged.

His country had recently been taken over, rather strongly and hastily, by a face that had dominated news and talk for years. Overthrowing the weak elected rule that had existed before, so far for many it was better.

They got privileges and hope. He, as a member of the rulers junior arm, respected that even before it was drilled in.

It was the concept of the hate of others: those not 'pure of blood', the crippled and the queer, among many others, that bothered him. Before his take over, while he was aware of the hate others had for them, he himself never had any.

He knew in his heart and head that even the best of people have flaws somewhere, from parents to teachers to the hero of the pure of blood and ancestry, but could you ignore such big a flaw.

"So, your feeling the fact that the savior is just a really connected cracked nut?" Beowulf, who had been in his room waiting for an answer, popped the question.

"The leader...he saved my people from ruin...but yet he dooms the same people just for things they cannot help: the faith of children, their flaws of the body, their choice in who they see as attractive. My parents will hate me for it, for I am not the soldier for the great land they see where I see a broken one..."

"A brave person doesn't fight for any reason like a crazed lion. Nor do they fight for just themselves like a snake. A brave person fights for what they feel is right, and not what they are told to fight for. In my home, a hall greater than Heorot, a city greater than Rome and a castle finer than...erm excuse me, my parent's pride is playing at me again. Honestly, my mother at times can be just as hubrical as the rest of her family, if rarely" thunder boomed outside "While mom isn't all that much better"

The morally confused boy gave Beowulf a confused look at the seemingly different people he refered to? Divorced and re-married family...or something else?

Meanwhile, Beowulf was being watched from further than he could ever comprehend.

"...Class 8 and above apocalypses are not that all uncommon, they are in fact heralded by far too many. The Juubi, Dark Magicals who obtain secrets they should never have touched, the Anti Monitor, Thanos and Chaos are all such instigators of them, and not even a fully comprehensive list. More worlds have been destroyed by alternate versions of Shikamaru than one may believe. That Nara in worlds where becomes a evil being are either Big Brother esc utopias, or destroyed." there was a reason they took great care to keep the Nara as lazy as possible.

"Now that the recent actions of a rogue version of the Duck have been dealt with, all we have to do is observe the chaos left behind."


	4. 2 years later, politics and surprises

Faves 92

Alert 104

C2's 7; My all time favorite, Sephiroth's ancient fantasy and Harem Lord's collection (Hey, I have other harem stories if you want to put them in...)

Oh, any of you readers from Texas...were any of you were one of the 25,000+ to sign a secession petition due to 2012's presidential election? Please don't repeat history, because if you do, the draft will get reinstated, and when the draft gets reinstated, I will have to flee to Canada, and if I have to flee to Canada I will have to work on my uncle's fishing boat. Don't make me work on my uncle's fishing boat, switch to DirectTV...the last part was a joke.

Review replies

Leaf; I admit that last one did not come out as I hoped. After how I did Taisune, I want to keep my mystery characters more ambiguous but I am either too obvious or too vague. I'm speeding up the Beowulf plot a little, and it may just be as ambiguous as before, but it will at least get some strange review comments back.

Guest; I am bad at sections, and I did make a good Sasuke after the complete monster I did before him in a good Kakashi world. So Sakura was due.

61394: Even if you survive a illness, your still weakened...this is your fortune cookie today number name guy...why is your name a number anyway?

Naruhina; I do like to explain my harems: Soul bonds and chips and such.

Other Guest: Kushina is already assured to be with Mikoto and will very likely get Mei. Fu and Yugito are definitely with Naruto. I'll have to see on the others.

silverstreak93242: this is how I do things. I have three main stories, which I release in order no matter my muse. This story is released after chapters of Harry Potter; Altered World and before chapters of Young Justice Next Gen. If you could, both are harem stories, though a warning I admit Altered World's third year has a few issues I really do need to fix, though fourth year is getting a lot of good press.

The following chapter feels more fillery, but I needed a bit of time skip, do an experiment for a new way to explain Naruto's hate from the village in a manner that could work with Kushina alive and the Sandiame good and give Kushina some demonstration of her powers. Tell me if the idea used was a good one or not...oh where's Brown Phantom or Hektols when you need someone to expose potential plotholes...

So, tell me if the ideas work or not in your reviews please

Recap

_I highly doubt that being an adult helps at all, probably the opposite really. I normally have a rule about not actually having sex with the loved ones of people I care or once cared about, but considering what potentially will happen if you don't get a release...I'm willing to break that rule" the last part was very, very serious._

_Kushina's eyes were wide in horror, a look not exactly missing in her friends either "Are you saying..."_

_"That you, if you don't keep yourself in check, are a very, very potential danger to Naruto...yes. Nagato may have shown it is possible to rape a ROCK" he had a don't ask look on his face "and I don't want to see babies raped either."_

End Recap

_Two years later_

The Hindu religion has many philosophies and sayings. Some the author does not agree with, as he is a couch potato who suffers when his laptop is out of his reach.

Others, he does, such as trying to quench desires is like putting fire out with fat or butter, it only makes them more intense.

Kushina was currently feeling like she was a wildfire that was dosed in the stuff. So, she decided to get her edge off a little, leaving Naruto with Hitomi and Hinata for a bit.

Hinata really did seem to like her son for some reason...though because Fugaku was a control freak it was very hard, nay impossible for Naruto to meet Sasuke.

Anyway, while she had used the toys to lessen her edge...there was another way to relieve herself.

The godly past time of blowing things up at random. Kushina had found to be another way of dealing with her sexual edge, without forcing Jiraiya to have sex with his student's widow via this.

Jiraiya had particularly been helpful in working on training her in jutsu to take advantage of the fact that she could use more of the elemental jutsu than most other ninja, wishing that he had noticed this with Nagato in the past.

"WATER RELEASE: SURFACE SLICER!" Kushina, her rinnegan eyes visible as she was not wearing her shades, let loose a sharp slash of water that crashed into a selection of wide range targets, completely destroying them as they did the ground as they land sharked to strike.

Kushina really didn't care she was practically paying 10 percent of the Civilians budget, seeing as they had several firms whose job it was to rebuild the ninja training areas every other day in patterns of odd training areas then even training areas (Bar 44), it was either do this, or potentially rape someone, most likely her two year old son.

"EARTH RELEASE; ROCK PILLAR SPEARS" huge spikes of earth rose up from the ground, piercing various pieces of wood like spears to fish.

"WIND RELEASE: DIVINE DOWN CURRENT!" a blast of wind flew from Kushina, shattering the earth spikes...

"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, WE BOOKED TRAINING AREA 69!" a voice yelled, as Kushina replaced her shades to cover her eyes.

Her eyes now covered, Kushina gave a irritated look over her shoulder to a civilian born ninja and his team of three civilian born genin. After the destruction the Kyuubi had caused two years ago, Hiruzen had to speed up enlistment process to make up for the damaged man power.

He regretted it nearly immediately. The civilians only got more arrogant, despite having a larger amount of civilians in the ninja force than before.

Kushina had finally managed to get it through the annoying sequence of interruptions that kept popping up, that her husband was the Yondiame after two months.

They denounced the truth, and claimed that Naruto did not count as human due to being a Jinchuriki.

The Sandiame and most of the ninja council did not agree with this...the Daiymo on the other hand, agreed.

Recently he passed a royal decree removing the rights of humanity to Jinchuriki, an act mimicked in several other nations, the Land of Lightning being one of the few exceptions.

The Sandiame as a result was basically in a political game of chicken with the Daiymo, only enforcing the law in a way that actually helped Naruto (For instance, their were taxes based on amounts of residents in a household, a civilian law, and if Naruto technically wasn't human, that mean Kushina was the sole person to be taxed...) and pretty much playing a dangerous game to see who attempts to assassinate the other first.

Basically, the entire thing is creating divisions deeper than Roe V Wade fused with Brown v Board of Ed, Martin Luther harassing the Catholic establishment, DC nation being pulled off of the air out of nowhere and spiced with the potential controversy that the Pope having a homosexual affair with the Dali Lama would cause.

Kushina gave the chunnin level Jonnin a look "Trust me, I reserved the use of this spot for the entire day from Hokage-Sama himself."

"Well I have an official notice from the Civilian Council..."

"This is a NINJA training ground" Kushina pointed out

"Oh shut up you lying whore. No one cares about you or your bastard child..."

The killer intent level, already high, rose to such powerful levels that the genin collapsed. With speed levels the undertrained civilian ninja had thought only the eyebrow freak could possess, she grabbed him by the collar of his overpriced war shirt.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL MY SON!"

"I CALLED YOUR SON WHAT HE IS, A BASTARD DEMON..."

Kushina's eyes glowed as she unintentionally accessed another power of the Rinnegan that Jiraiya was unaware of...

As the ninja's soul was ripped out of his body, said body collapsing to the ground pale and dead.

Kushina tried to ignore what she had just done. Aside for her underlying, and growing desire to dominate something sexually, she also found her temper was far more extreme with those who angered her...aside for Naruto.

Like that of a god, Kushina was becoming prone to smiting those who bother her even slightly. The fact she was emulating gods like Artemis, Set, Birgit, Susanno and Odin had yet to really cross her mind, though.

Due to this inherent feeling she had, she couldn't help but feel that the bastard deserved what happened.

However, she still looked at her hands nervously...wondering what exactly she had done.

As she left, not really thinking straight due to sheer confusion with herself, she was lucky to know that the genin would loose the previous conversation from their memories due to the level of killer intent that struck them like gravity to a falling apple.

_A town somewhat away from Kumogakure no Sato, the hidden cloud village _

A lighter skinned man of the darker variety seen in Kumo who wore his forehead protector like a bandanna, and a high ranked if domestic critic of his village's policies normally waited for his kage to give him orders for meetings.

However, in this case he was here on his free will.

"So, you want someone to disappear...why come to me? After all, your Konoha nin?"

The eldery voice who responded seemed to be stuck up and filled with self importance "Believe me, we were, but our clan has our loyalty first. However, our leader and his demon loving bitch of a wife are too dangerous to live. Kill them for us, and we're pay you handsomely...after all our leader is in the bingo book"

"Demons you say" the head said darkly "If this 'demon' is a Jinchuriki...I'll do this free of the down payment. I never liked the freaks...killing Hiashi and Hitomi will be my pleasure"

"Take out their spawn too...she's weak"

_Amegakure no Sato, the Hiddden Rain village _

"OH! OH! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH "

A beautiful blue haired woman collapsed to the ground, absolutely sexually spent as 'God' was done with her via his six bodies, his Rinnegan eyes glowing in triumph.

His angel was his most frequent manor of relieving his sexual tension, a act she did quite loyally. After all, six well endowed bodies did tend to keep the woman happy, and there was a reason she was so relaxed during Akatsuki meetings after all.

**Now for a Beowulf tale that speeds things up a little. I have to be ambiguous as to who Beowulf is connected to, at least for now.**

Glowing lights flickered across the battle field as spells were cast with abandon, Beowulf avoiding them by hiding behind a ancient tree, as wide around as his first great foe, and hopefully not home to one of his mother's minions.

Beowulf, while not born in Gaetland, had spent a large amount of time there that he personally saw that as his hometown. While here, he had a position of considerable leadership after fighting two dangerous foes, Grendel and Grendel's mother, whose last name was Flint if he recalled. Many thought he died after fighting a Dragon, but the reports were greatly exaggerated.

While he lived in the city now, his home was made to resemble the old school touches of this place...

Though the glowing light wasn't normal. Right in front of Beowulf was a glowing, crack in the open air almost he could call it. Beowulf had a good feeling that whatever it was, it should be avoided at all costs...

"...DI"

Of course, someone blowing up the tree and knocking him straight at it was not what he had planned. As he flew through the strange crack...something hit his head/

_...time skip of unknown time..._

Beowulf's eyes began to flicker open, into a old fashioned house like from his 'youth', all those years ago.

"So, your the one whose power flows via the forces of nature...a power different than the powers of this here land" a old man spoke. The man had a hooked nose, and looked grouchier than Beowulf's older great uncle...who was about as friendly as death and was at times a greasy git.

He had a staff made of wood, and a very well made ring on his finger, glittering with a rune that Beowulf saw as vaguely like that of old english make, with some hint of what was done in his home land of Gaetland. He had a pipe...suggesting he was a smoker.

A smell Beowulf's enhanced senses were very bothered by.

"Who are you...and where am I!?" Beowulf asked.

The old man smirked "The same question that I had wanted to ask you, but seeing as your mind reveals that you are not one of his servants...but instead serve a Queen unaligned to him, I will tell you. I am Brom. You are in the village of Carvahall, and you don't seem to be from around here" he held up Beowulf's shaving kit, not that Beowulf could grow facial hair: a square, brown leather case "And what is this strange material in this bag called 'Soap'?"

**A/N. Jutsu names get a explanation down here if they are Original, but those from the anime or manga are not. **


	5. Hyuuga Incident Part 1

A/N, due to complaints chapter is fixed

Faves 107

Alert 109

C2's 8; Naruto, and Anime X-overs Best FicS

So, no more political points at all...

Edboy; Its something I thought of when I was brainstorming the story

Dalek; Its likely

Nix; Why do we all use swear words in our comments?

61394: erm, I like politically correct leaders myself outside of the Ministry of Magic

Alpha Liege: Beowulf's full connection will be established this chapter, and he is not a villain per say, but your see why he will at one point come into conflict

Jay Frost: I'll try to avoid it

Brown Phantom: To be fair, we see that in the real world. Mccarthyism, Facsim and Religion are examples of it in the real world

Leaf; Your see, and I am just trying to not make Hiruzen's inaction bashing, but I am trying to create a genuine problem. Also Daiymo's are like kings, and kings back in that day could declare these things as much as they do here: an excellent example being the Spanish Inquisition.

Naruhina; I am just glad to be different.

Gaby: All I am saying is Hinata and Sakura for now. For all you know, Haku might be with Kushina, or she might be a he this time?

JMW: The leave is possible

Note, this is an AU story. I will change some aspects to make it flow as it needs to. For instance, the war with Kumo is changed to a incident that better works in the story

Recap

_A lighter skinned man of the darker variety seen in Kumo who wore his forehead protector like a bandanna, and a high ranked if domestic critic of his village's policies normally waited for his kage to give him orders for meetings._

_However, in this case he was here on his free will._

_"So, you want someone to disappear...why come to me? After all, your Konoha nin?"_

_The eldery voice who responded seemed to be stuck up and filled with self importance "Believe me, we were, but our clan has our loyalty first. However, our leader and his demon loving bitch of a wife are too dangerous to live. Kill them for us, and we're pay you handsomely...after all our leader is in the bingo book"_

_"Demons you say" the head said darkly "If this 'demon' is a Jinchuriki...I'll do this free of the down payment. I never liked the freaks...killing Hiashi and Hitomi will be my pleasure"_

_"Take out their spawn too...she's weak"_

End Recap

_Konohagakure no Sato, Hokage's office, few weeks later_

The old man who really did not want to deal with Paperwork and had actually been looking forward to days of playing Ma-jong, playing with his grandchildren and reading porn, but had to take the job to avoid the civilians from causing the end of the Land of Fire's superpower status.

His continued game of political baiting the Daiymo in their little Jinchuriki political war as the degree of control that Daiymo had on the Shinobi, and their degree of ignoring the laws of the land.

The current Daiymo was a new one, having been coordinated a year ago after his father died of an assassin's poison. He was impulsive, and did not comprehend his father's, grandfather's, and great uncle's policy of 'leave the shinobi shit to the shinobi'. Thus, the problems of the modern day.

But, enough of that, and speaking of the good father's death...

"Kushina, as you may or may not be aware, a Kumo shinobi has been sent to discuss the killing of the assassin to the previous Daiymo, who I much prefer" he told the oddly shade wearing Kushina, a habit she had ever since Minato died. Perhaps it was to prevent her from showing weakness to the people of Konoha who relentlessly harrassed her and Naruto. He never did ask. She was dressed as she normally did as a shinobi (Cough Road to Ninja, cough)

"The assassin, being a mentally ill citizen of the Land of Lightning, needs to be calmly dealt with. The Yondiame Raikage has sent a high ranking ninja to oversee the diplomacy. Due to A, the Yondiame, and the Land of Lightning's love for Jinchuriki as a whole..."

"Trust me, I won't go there. I was nearly kidnapped in the past, remember?" Kushina said dryly. What was unsaid was that she also had the most powerful Kekkei Genkai in the world. Kumo was known for wanting bloodlines, there was no way she was going to do that...unless things got really bad that she would sacrifice her own life for her sons.

The Hokage didn't really believe that...but then again he learned many things over his years: and life lesson number 5 was that you could not understand the minds of woman.

"Good, now I do believe that your friends still have little Naruto-Kun for now, so you should get back to him. However, one final thing, the Hyuuga Clan has agreed to host the Kumo diplomat, due to their eyes being able to best keep an eye on him. They have invited me to the formal dinner, and I do believe you have been invited as well. Do get ready" Kushina nodded abruptly, correctly noted that as a order to leave, and left through the front door, just as the esteemed Hokage got out a orange book.

Once outside, however, Kushina clutched her hips "Damn, I masturbated just two hours ago...damn Jiraiya was right...it is just getting worse"

_The Hyuga compound_

Now normally Kushina was not invited to most meals even at the Hyuga compound due to the fact that many, including the old council that Hiashi had been slowly depowering, glared at her.

However, the political situation, and the Hokage's presence, was enough to push this behavior back, though Kushina got looks for, A: being in a formal red kimono that clashed with the black, gray and white ones used by the other eater: the Main House adults, the elders, the diplomat from Kumo (Who was oddly on the opposite end of the elders...not exactly an unwarranted idea) and Hiruzen, and B: for still wearing shades.

"Hey, if Guy can walk around in his homophobic nightmare suit, Hatake with his mask and the Inuzuka bring their dogs everywhere...I can where my shades"

Kakashi had not taken the death of his sensei well. The cyclops had gotten really depressed, drank a lot and pretty much blamed his death on the Hokage's position, and the supporting wife who encouraged him to take the job.

Kyuubi belief came later.

Thus, he was far from Kushina's favorite person. Guy was a lot more tolerable, even when screaming about youth and somehow summoning sunsets.

Hizashi, a perfectly loyal, non Naruto hating, branch member was keeping an eye on the 'kids table' where Naruto, Hinata and his son Neji would be dining. Kushina only relaxed because Hizashi was virtually Hiashi's equal in strength, skill and use of the Byukugan.

Perhaps she could finally relax, and put the problems of her life, such as murder attempts and her nearly unstoppable desire to rape all those around her, behind her just for one night...

_Meanwhile, the doorway to the kiddie table_

"Let me by, Branch member" a member of the council spoke up, having decided due to the mere fact that the only guard was a branch member, the death of the weak heiress and the demon could be completed and the branch members silenced, non lethally.

"I am sorry, but Hiashi-Sama..." Hizashi drawled in a bored tone

"OBEY ME!" old council members were normally calm, but the Hyuga were a slight exception when it came to the branch members disobeying them. And so the death seal was activated...

..

..

..

The council member paled rapidly and probably browned his undergarments as Hizashi smirked diabolically.

Hiashi had a soft spot for his brother, part of the reason why Hizashi was allowed to obtain all the skills he had. He was also the personal servant of Hiashi and Hitomi...and had his heaven sealed oh so slightly altered...

Making it so only Hiashi could activate it...Hitomi and Hinata too but it was just not them.

"Perhaps fate does smile on the caged once in a while..."

What followed was a textbook example of why Sarotubi had most ninja retire at age 70.

_Back in the main table_

Of course, Kushina could never catch a break.

"LIGHTING RELEASE: FLASHPOINT!"

The room was filled with an bright, burning light, as the skin of one pro Hiashi Main House member began to blister and burn.

**Now for a another Beowulf moment sometime after meeting Brom. By the way, the next chapter will have the final bit of introducing Beowulf and how he will end up in story**

Brom had been a dragon rider, rebel founder, elf friend, storyteller and father, but this Beowulf character had made all of those seem normal to the entirely new world he was shown.

A world home to nations voted by the people, of various skin colors, where women were equals of men and where dogs were treated better than the men of his home, Alegesia.

This city however really did take it home, a city built of the finest stone, steel, glass and in many places solid silver was beyond that of even the dwarves.

"...Hunt City is filled with the various abused people of all time: Native Americans, Nazi Detractors, Zoroastrians, Gypsies, early Quakers: in particular we have so many escaped Slaves, Jewish and Homosexual people entire boroughs of Hunt City are practically their own China Towns...erm well you won't get the meaning but if you go to the North Star, Neo Jerusalem or Rainbow district (Sorry but it was either that or Homo/Lesbi/Gay/ect District) its pretty much exclusively them. Of course, its a little tricky with the Jewish and other religious people, but as long as they give enough sacrifices to my Mother, they can go to the Reformed United Church/Synagagoue/Mosque/Temple/ect of Hunt City for their non Mother needs"

"You speak of your mother as if she's a goddess of some sort?" Brom said in confusion, still a little wobbly on the mechanical 'Trolly' they were on, some sort of wheeled contraption that moved with levers and a bunch of other things that he did not understand. It wasn't magic, horse or gravity...it was apparently science, like something out of Jeod's dreams.

Beowulf, who now had removed his cloak to reveal a boy with auburn hair, the body of a woodsman and sprinter, had gone into detail about 'Mother's' city. Brom had no real understanding of how a city could get to its size of over a million, with apparently all of them no older than Beowulf, who had to be 16. The disease problem alone was a huge problem in cities a quarter of that size back in Alegesia.

Perhaps it had something to do with 'soap'.

"Perhaps I am, old man"

Brom, reacting without much thought, rapidly drew his crimson blade, Zar'oc, and swung it at the young woman who had appeared behind him...who stopped it with a single finger.

Not even elves could do that...

The woman was auburn haired as well, and had a similar build to Beowulf, leaving her lacking in breasts but with long legs and fine ass. Her eyes, like Beowulf's, looked like the moons, but her eyes were far more exact to life to the moon than Beowulfs.

The eyes of both of them, in fact more resembled an elf's than a humans, like that of predators such as wild cats or wolves.

"Attempt to strike me again, mortal, and I will turn you into a Jackalope"

"A what..."

"So, I've seen you met my mother...Artemis Brom, Brom, Artemis" Beowulf said weakly. Really, did the old guy have to do that.

His mother was smite happy for Zeus's sake. It was a family trait, and she was one of the less affected

"Beowulf, exactly why did you bring an adult into Hunt City, the city of Virgins, when he is clearly not?!" she said seriously, in the tone of a disapproving parent.

"And he's your son..." Brom had to point out that fact

"Male, do not begin to comprehend the very complicated manner of which..."

"Mom is a goddess capable of bending the fundamental laws of reality and a goddess of birth..." Beowulf cut his mother off before she started lecturing about very complicated godly-astro physics while leaving out the alcohol involved "And I brought him here because he came from another world, via a crack in our reality. A series of cracks I found all over Europe and North America, at least as I returned here with the old geezer"

"WHAT!?"

'What's a geezer' Brom wondered

Jutsu list

**Lightning Release; Flashpoint**

**A rank**

**Description; Creates a large, intensely bright explosion. Vaporizes or blinds foes. **


	6. Hyuuga Incident Part 2

faves 123

alerts 128

C2's 9, hello Naruto is King

Review replies

Leaf; I fixed the flow a little

61394: teenager, well if you want how it involved Artemis, one of her hunters and a lot of alcohol, but why...I just think the name sounds Artemisy. Not to mention he isn't really connected to any myth set, like the Norse or Christian, so you could say he was a free agent. Would you rather I had called him Theron Orion Nightshade?

Gaiseric: I will try to fix the Daimyo thing

Guest; you asked nicely...so unlike GodShadowEX you will not be banned from contacting me or reported. This guy is a jerk. Just read his review.

Yuri-hime: they are a normal yet practical solution

Me; The sex craze is a lingering sub plot to give the Rinnegan a problem. I won't show off a tree's worth of lemons

Naruhina; Just wait

Anyone see they are doing a new filler ac, featuring a few last hurrah's for some deceased or missing characters. Or at least Hayate and Hidan...good for them. By the way, its a cloned Hidan.

Oh: And prepare for a new idea never before done...I think.

Recap

_Of course, Kushina could never catch a break._

_"LIGHTING RELEASE: FLASHPOINT!"_

_The room was filled with an bright, burning light, as the skin of one pro Hiashi Main House member began to blister and burn._

End Recap, the Hyuga

"BARRIER: Sanctuary of the Shinto Shrine!" a shimmering dome of see through chakra energy formed from the Hokage, sealing off the rest of the main house under the dome's protection from the bright light attack.

Unfortunately, several of the main house members, though not Hitomi or Hiashi, were burned. Kushina was unharmed.

Another unfortunate thing was that the barrier was only long lasting if you kept putting in chakra, but like his shadow clone jutsu, the old man couldn't keep up such chakra depleting moves now a days and had to end it.

He couldn't even mentally command his jutsu like he could in the old days...his mind was just becoming too overwhelmed with the burdens of his now troubled leadership to risk such a venture, lest his pipe lighting jutsu cause a full on village fire.

Hiruzen glared at the diplomat, and the Hyuga elders who were not only unharmed...but right next to him.

"What is the meaning of this!"

"Excuse yourself, Hokage. This is a family matter...the demon loving head needs to be...replaced." a elder said darkly.

"Assassinations ARE my business. They are not politics. You also broke my law..."

"YOU GO AGAINST THE DAIMYO! HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT BREAKING THE LAW..."

"Hokage-Sama..." Hiashi said in a very, very steely voice "I will deal with this...if they are so insistent of it being a CLAN problem, perhaps its best the clan HEAD deal with it."

Sarotubi sighed, was this an honor thing, it was times like this he wondered why he didn't give his job to Danzo. He personally thought this would be a bad idea, but seeing as he didn't need any more shinobi clan heads against him right now, best not to refuse them.

After all, what's the worst that could happen...beside a broken bone.

"Hiashi-Kun" Hitomi said weakly. She really did need to grow a backbone...

"HA! WE TAUGHT YOU...HIASHI-TAN" the head elder stood with a grin as his twelve compatriots prepared themselves, the ambassador behind them, the thirteenth currently being beat by Hizashi "What makes you think you could beat us all..."

"Four words" Hiashi said steely as he blurred...

"GATE..."

"OF"

"HEALING!"

"OPEN!"

Each word was emphasized by the quick deaths of three elders as the head glared at the traitorous ambassador, who looked angry as each and every one of his payers were slayed right before him.

However, he was oddly smirking.

"Fools, I trained myself under the youth loving beast itself to be the first Hyuga ever to use the gates...and also the only one to train with him and retain his sanity! There is a reason I am the head of the clan and not THEM."

"Oh yes, the ability to use the eight gates is very, very impressive, however you attacked the absolute worse shinobi for that technique...Ninja art: Chakra Gate Burst!" a wave of charka flew from his body, like ripples from where the stone struck the pond.

"What jutsu..." the Professor knew of over 1000 jutsu, but had never seen this one, however he didn't like it one bit "BARRIER: Sanctuary of the..."

It was too late, the wave slammed into Hiashi...whose skin rapidly became red, his sweat green, and promptly did the equivalent of a human atomic bomb.

"...Shinto Shrine"

_**An hour later, Konoha General **_

"Mommy" a voice said weakly. "MOMMY!"

Kushina grimaced, her eye lids twitching as she woke up in a hospital, IV's in her arm and a greatly relieved looking Mikoto and Jiraiya in her room. In a chair, a despondent Hitomi was practically catonic, she and a sleeping Hinata looked like they had been crying non stop.

It was then she saw the Hokage in her office, looking awestruck. It registered then that her shades has been destroyed.

Damn it.

"MOMMY!" 2 year old Naruto was holding her arm as tightly as could be as she woke up, crying "MOMMY YOUR ALRIGHT! YOU DIDN'T GO AWAY!"

"Really, I go away for one mission...and my Godson nearly dies..." Jiraiya grumbled, but he too was glad to see her alive.

Not glad the patients robes were only good for showing off ass, which Kushina was not showing off due to the blanket over her, but glad for his student's widow.

"Yes, your mother is fine..." the Hokage said in a quiet, serious tone "However..." he sent a pulse of chakra as the closed door in the hospital room was sound proofed, as was the window.

"Last I checked, your eyes are not supposed to be a Kekkei Genkai"

"Kekky gecko?"

"No Naruto-kun..." Kushina sighed "Kekkei Genkai...and this...dang thing just popped up after Minato..." she caught herself before she swore in front of Naruto, but a tear slid down her face

"Yes, the stories do say that the only one to ever have the Rinnegan got it after his family was killed by the Juubi" the Hokage mused as they gave him surprised looks "I am called the Professor for more than just my 1000 plus techniques you know."

"Wait, Sarutobi-Sensei..." Jiraiya began before the Hokage sighed

"Before any of you answer this, was the reason this was not brought up due to the CRA?" Kushina nodded rapidly.

"Good, now that I know Ibiki is unnecessary...Kushina-San I am going to have to ask you a favor..."

"What?"

"I will need you to open your home up...to the last two Hyuga of Konoha"*

_A month later_

Hitomi was still a practically catonic figure even after the funerals for the deceased members of her clan, or at least as much of a funeral for those whose bodies had been completely atomized.

The only reason she and Hinata had not been vaporized in the same fashion was because of of the Hokage's barrier jutsu, and because Naruto got knocked on top of Hinata by the blast and being her impromptu shield.

Kushina could really have gone through life without finding out that the Kyuubi came with an immunity to pure based chakra nuking.

Hinata may have managed to somewhat recover...if just because she was roomed with Naruto who seemed to have the oddest ability to make people happier and more positive just by being int he same room as him, but Hitomi was not recovering well at all.

Kushina had decided it was time for her to quit it.

"Hitomi" Kushina said sternly, her Rinnegan eyes visible even though Sarutobi had donated her enough shades to equip all the Men in Black "Look, I know what its like to loose your family, and your husband...but starving yourself and hiding inside yourself isn't going to bring them back, and Hinata certainly deserves better than this, you not really being there, shit!"

Hitomi still didn't seem to hear her.

'_Oh to Yami with this_' Kushina decided that there was probably few safe ways to break Hitomi out of this...and seeing as she was still dealing with her near constant desire to jumps someone...and grabbed Hitomi's face, forced it up and forcibly kissed her.

And as Kushina kissed Hitomi in her 'shock her out of it' idea...a glowing red spiral began to form between Hitomi's shoulder blades (A/N, Sekirei fans take note), as from the point of Kushina's kiss, a glowing purplish chakra began to cover Hitomi, before flickering away as Hitomi straightened and looked up to Kushina with a look that was rather familiar to the red head.

It was the look she had when she looked at herself in the mirror, a look of endless lust.

"I am here to serve you, my mistress"

'_What the hell..._' was Kushina's last conscious thought.

**The last Beowulf backup**

Brom reached for his pipe out of habit, before recalling that the goddess removed it from reality. "Damn, when I am going to be able to go home! I've been here for days, and people will wonder where I went. That, and I have a certain someone I have to keep an eye on" he didn't like being unable to know what was happening with his young son in secret, Eragon.

A young woman, whose skin was a bronze color that Brom was not familiar with, though it was vaguely elfish, like her black hair and the feeling that she could lift the sky he got from here, glared at him "Be silent, man. Lady Artemis may tolerate thy presence because you saved our son and your magic is helping us figure out what those cracks are, but you are still lower than a scullion if you ask me!"

Brom hadn't even begun to understand how two woman had a child...particularly a son but he wasn't going to ask. They were just more unpleasant to deal with than Az Sweldn rak Anhuin dwarves.

The two stopped glaring at one another, or figuring out if a dragonless dragon rider of Brom's skill could go up against a demititan, when Artemis and Beowulf returned, with a large bag of stuff on Artemis' shoulder.

"Anything?" Brom demanded bluntly as Artemis glared at him.

"Several, but Beo found what we needed" Artemis wasn't going to admit that the portals she checked had nothing of real importance (The one in Scotland only found her a red eyed snake man with a wand, the one in Paris found her a group of girls in two straight lines and the portal on the Great Barrier Reef just found her some Seagulls that cried 'mine, mine, mine')

"I did some investigation with my great-uncle, the Lord of the Dead" Beowulf didn't need to point out how interrelated gods were "And found something quite interesting, a ghost who briefly appeared, only to vanish...about the same time the cracks began to appear in our world, your world, and likely all the others"

"A ghost..." Brom had a feeling this was no spirit a Sorceror or Shade had.

"Yes, a ghost with long red hair, who screamed a name...Naruto"

**New jutsu**

**BARRIER: Sanctuary of the Shinto Shrine**

**Rank; A**

**Description: a technique that forms a barrier that blocks non solid attacks, such as gas or light**

**Ninja art: Chakra Gate Burst**

**Rank; S**

**description: a jutsu designed to counter the gates, it forcibly opens all eight gates and causes the chakra to escape the body just as rapidly, causing the gate user to die. Recently developed in Kumogakure, still being tested.**

*** Do you know how tempted I was to cliffhang here. But, as I did not have enough to put before this...and I don't want to have to rely on Beowulf to bolster my chapters seeing as he won't appear till a actual arc from the manga does...well have to get into shape**


	7. The Misses

Sorry for the delay, blame my FREAKING MATH ESSAY!

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Review replies

61394: None of the alive deserved it, anyway

Leaf; Hanabi had not been conceived yet

ob1292: it shall

Brown: I like to believe I have the occasional good poit

Mr. Fury: There will be no beastiality today

TheNiemand: Stranger things have happened

naruhina fan: I planned it that way, and as to the others, they were Harry Potter and Madeline. The last one has a special

Gaiseric: Yes, that will happen with Naruto too one day

Alpha Liege: Oh, hopefully the guy will shut up

anyway, now its to the world of Naruto

_Uzumaki Home, the next day_

Jiraiya was a man known for his perversity, equal to his loyalty to Konoha and his friends. When he had a quite real danger that was facing his Godson...one that was sadly minor compared to the danger of keeping him away from his mother, he always took to keeping an eye on the waking Kushina.

He knew people...if he believed that Kushina had reached a breaking point...well he hoped to have never reached that point.

However, instead of seeing a immensely stressed Kushina waking up and then taking notes of her dealing with her stress...he saw something that utterly broke him...in a very good way.

Kushina was asleep, relaxed...completely naked and entwined with a equally naked Hitomi...though Kushina seemed to be the upper position, he noticed...

"Initiate scene detailing seals" he muttered to himself as his notepad of perversity began to shimmer and form shapes, a lifelike depiction of the image just as he had seen it when he activated it.

Of course...that was when Kushina's eyes flashed open...as Jiraiya got dragged down from his sky perch...like gravity pulled him.

"YOU!" Kushina growled as Hitomi stirred underneath her, blushing and would have said something if her mouth wasn't muffled by Kushina's breasts.

Had it not been for a free nose...

"CAN'T...BREATH"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY BEDROOM YOU...PERVERT!" similar to how he was pushed towards the angered Kushina, Jiraiya got pushed into a wall, Kushina lunging at him, a blanket wrapped around her body hastily

"Wait, its nothing..."

"OH, ITS SOMETHING ALL RIGHT..." however, before Kushina let out an, admit-ably warranted dose of feminine fury.

"Mistress..." Hitomi said in a nervous tone as the two exchanged looks.

What. The. Hell

_A few hours later_

"So...you can't remember what happened after you two kissed...?" Jiraiya pointed out as the two blushed.

"Yes...after Mistress kissed me my mind went blank"

"Please stop calling me that, you can call me Kushina...Kushi-Chan..."

"Kushina-Sama..."

"Fine" Kushina relented "You can call me that if you really, really have to..."

Jiraiya frowned, that have to thing was bothering him "Hitomi-Chan...remove your top"

**SMACK**

"OWWW! I meant it in a professional, non perverted way. I thought I saw something"

"Should I, Kushina-Sama?" Hitomi inquired. Kushina gave Jiraiya a long look.

"Touch anything you shouldn't...and I will castrate you! Hitomi-Chan...do as the pervert says, this once" she added that part because she didn't want to risk something later, seeing as Hitomi might just subconsciously take that order too literally and listen to the pervert...for anything.

Obeying Kushina, Hitomi pulled up her shirt, though her bra was still on, holding her...large tracts of land.

"Turn around" Jiraiya told her as she did, as Kushina gasped.

"Hitomi-chan...when did you get a tattoo of the Uzumaki spiral on your back?"

Hitomi answered with a quite confused tone "What tattoo, Kushina-Sama?"

"It seems I was right...I could have sworn I saw that on Hitomi as she was getting dressed...now then..." Jiraiya gently touched the spiral, which caused Hitomi to get a horribly pale look.

"NO!" uncharacteristically jerky, Hitomi jumped back and kept Jiraiya from touching the spiral again.

"Odd...me touching it caused her to react negatively...erm Kushina-Chan if you would?"

Kushina gave the pervert a look, but did in deep touched Hitomi's odd tattoo, via hugging the woman so she wouldn't jerk away.

This time, Hitomi blushed and just appeared to have just had a sexual release, if Jiraiya's expertise on the subject was accurate.

"This is...interesting." Jiraiya had to say "Tell you what, seeing as I can't seem to touch it without very unpleasant reactions for Hitomi, why don't you try and figure it out. Your well enough versed in seals, being a Uzumaki...and I don't like you glaring at me like that. Tell Naruto-Kun I said hi..."

And to himself as he body flickered away 'And thank you Kushi-Chan and Hitomi-chan, for the perfect picture for the lesbian couple in Icha Icha 2!"

_Two Years Later_

Hiruzen breathed into his pipe, slowly and sighed. He hated politics.

The Kumo thing was, in itself, rather simple. The Raikage had discovered many, many detailed journals that described many painful ways of killing the Hachibi's Jinchuriki, and his dealings with the Hyuga elders, andthe Raikage wasn't interested in any sort of repatriation from Konoha.

With the body totally nuked and vaporized, they didn't even have to worry about Kumo secrets, and washed their hands of him.

They later sent a diplomat who had no incident and the issues were dealt with easily.

The problem was with their own Daimyo.

The prejudiced leader was currently creating a lot of bad blood as he began to enforce various policies on the land that were causing some amount of controversy and political tension.

First he cut down the taxes on the richer end of society while increasing them on the poor.

Next he illegalized gambling, which caused Tsunade to rampage and destroy a small town.

His prohibition policy soon after...well Tsuande was currently gambling in another country.

Recently, and probably one tipped off by a Fox-Hater, was a recent, hard line anti-homosexuality stance.

With previous Daimyo, the Homosexuals of the Land of Fire were rather a carefully moderated group. They could adopt, a policy that Hiruzen himself had advocated for to deal with the huge orphan problem after the great wars, but could not marry. They had civil unions, which had the benefits, and tended to stay in their own communities to avoid ridicule and harassment on themselves, and on their adopted children.

However, the new Daimyo was taking away those rights...and the gay community was not having it at all.

Neither was Hiruzen. It was general ninja policy to have nothing against homosexual couples: it dealt with their orphans and any ninja getting any sort of positive relationship was good, as it helped limit insanity, and Guy's (Who, contrary to popular belief, was straight).

So, Hiruzen just merely changed the 'Civil Union' the couples had, to 'Joint Shinobi'. Which was pretty much the same thing as they had before, but free of the Daimyo's.

This had been brought on, in part, because over the last two years, after the death of the Hyuga, Hitomi and Kushina seemed to be pretty much a couple, if one with a strange tendency for Hitomi to nearly refer to Kushina as 'Mistress' or Kushina-Sama.

Its not like it really all that mattered to Hiruzen, what SM things they did in their spare time was not his problem.

The Daimyo, of course, complained, particularly when Hiruzen gave that declaration to non shinobi, or even people from some of the nearby towns that were home to majorly homosexuals (They were around Konoha because the Ninja were more tolerant of them than most of the other civilians and they benefited from D rank missions to aide them in catching cats, painting fences and dealing with the sadly all too present graffiti)

Hiruzen pointed out that, as Hokage, he had extra authority in Konoha and a five mile radius of Konoha, which housed the towns where he gave those licenses out. Seeing as several chakra positive children were being raised by these couples, such as a young girl named Tenten and a young boy named Rock Lee (whose loving adopted fathers were sadly suffering from a long term illness that would kill them before the boy was 12), were included, he had a legit reason to want to encourage them to look to Konoha, and its academy...but then again so far the Daimyo had not acted out his threats, but for how long would the peace hold...

But, he had other, slightly more uneasy things to deal with.

"Ah, Mikoto-Chan, how nice of you to join me. There is something I would like to discuss with the head's wife of the Uchiha clan" and the most approachable Uchiha, aside for young Itachi.

What a good lad he was, Itachi.

The stunning, raven haired house wife was quite curious as to why she was summoned "What is it you ask of me, Hokage-Sama?"

"I know that, as the wife of your clan's head, you handle several issues in the clan dealing with family matters.?"

"What...did Sasuke-Kun..." Mikoto spoke in the tone only a scared mother could generate.

"Your son is fine Mikoto-Chan, and has done nothing wrong. However, something else has come up. A little girl in the Konoha Orphanage had a incident with a child rapist...and you can calm down the freak was killed and the girl unharmed. However, when the girl was attacked, in that moment of horror, she activated the Sharingan"

**Omake**

**Promo**

**New Stories**

Soon, the Altered World will conclude at the end of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. At that time, I will start new stories, but those will be determined by your votes.

The following options are available with the addition of other and none.

**Altered World 2: The sequel to Altered World, this story would delve into this fused world further as Harry and his allies have to deal with the cliffhanger of Altered World. As before, it would be a harem.**

**Avada Kedarva Lily: Lily manages to live long enough to see the beginning of the horcrux forming and uses Avada Kedarva to keep it from affecting Harry. This has many side effects, including Harry ending up having a hole in his magical core that ends up constantly absorbing ambient magics like senjutsu, the ability to absorb the qualities of someone by their touch (Eg Hermione's brains) and having Lily trapped in Harry's magical core like Kushina was to Naruto, but able to see through Harry's eyes and be his Jimmie Cricket. Would be a harem and have a very evil Dumbledore**

**Harry X: Harry Potter and Lily Potter are members of the X-men. Lily will be called the Green Sorceress and be able to control plants, and will either be in a relationship with either Banshee or Wolverine. Harry will probably use his name like Jean or Kitty does, and will probably be able to convert energies (Eg, turn magical energy into heat or be able to charge his magic with the kinetic energy of himself or others) and may have a harem with mutant and magical girls. **

**Hinata the Time Looper: Hinata is trapped in a time loop of the Chunnin exams by Aphrodite, and can only escape if she and Naruto survive, become Chunnin and he loves her. Problem is, he won't be retaining his memories, and Aphrodite has installed penalties for Hinata the more times she gets restarted, the penalties being the harem.**

**Moon Heir: Ultimate: A Percy Jackson story that is pretty much the Ultimate Universe to Moon Heir. The story of Percy being a honorary House of Life Member, the actions of Mengle and Ragnarok would be retold in a different tale. Could possibly be in the same universe as Altered World and could be harem.**


	8. The Orphan with the Sharingan

So...I'll try to speed the story up a little.

faves 129

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Review replies

Leaf: Erm...I can't exactly say that any Republican politicians I know of are actively removing children from same sex relationship families, outlawing gambling or alcohol...and there are more Right wing parties that I could be basing this guy on...like those guys who followed the guy with the stupid mustache and related to Nico Di Angelo...

Yuri-Hime-Chan: Erm, while I will say the guy will cause a lot of problems, Kushina won't paste him at least until Gaara pops up

61394: The Beowulf part has ended, and he'll return later

Naruhina; Yes, there will be similarity with the Sekerei: ashikabi system here

TheNiemand: Glad someone remembered me mentioning her in the pre story notes in Mysterious Power

Guest; Yes, there was financial reprisals. They were pretty big

Recap

_What a good lad he was, Itachi._

_The stunning, raven haired house wife was quite curious as to why she was summoned "What is it you ask of me, Hokage-Sama?"_

_"I know that, as the wife of your clan's head, you handle several issues in the clan dealing with family matters.?"_

_"What...did Sasuke-Kun..." Mikoto spoke in the tone only a scared mother could generate._

_"Your son is fine Mikoto-Chan, and has done nothing wrong. However, something else has come up. A little girl in the Konoha Orphanage had a incident with a child rapist...and you can calm down the freak was killed and the girl unharmed. However, when the girl was attacked, in that moment of horror, she activated the Sharingan"_

End Recap

_Mito Senju Orphange_

Her name was Hiko, so the Hokage told Mikoto.

Four years ago, she was left here by her mother: a child that was unwanted. Since then, the orphanage had been her home. One of the few orphans her age who was left here, as opposed to the hundreds of orphans who had died due to the Kyuubi's attack

The mass of deaths had strained the orphanage to the verge of explosion. The fact that the Civilians, who were supposed to manage the orphanage system...spent far too much time trying to harass a non orphan was not helping them at all.

So, you could say that the orphanage head who disliked Naruto had some legitimacy for if he wasn't alive, there would be more money for her orphanage...but never mind that.

Mikoto had body flickered to the orphanage as soon as the Hokage had let her...accompanied by a young Chunnin, her son Itachi.

The Hokage had sent him with her due to how incredibly dangerous this could end. A illegitimate child always caused a shit storm of issues in clans, particularly the Kekkei Genkai ones.

If it got out...well they had ENOUGH political shit in their country, their village, Nuke Nin Orochimaru, a recent strain of killings done by a odd, mentally crazed man in red with strange metal weapons that shot round metal balls and still with Kumo.

A clan scandal needed to be kept under as much wraps as possible.

As the two arrived at the old looking Orphange, however, they found they were not alone.

"Danzo-Sama...?" Mikoto spoke up as the cane braced elder turned around and sighed.

He had been hoping to 'take custody' of the little Sharingan girl that his ROOT had spied just very recently and train her to be a ROOT ninja. After all, he had been 'helping' with the overcrowding problem by taking orphans, though always in controlled times.

If he recruited orphans too often, Hiruzen might notice.

The Sharingan was a kekkei Genkai he would have loved to have, a crown jewel...but Mikoto and Itachi had strong battle skills, could see through genjutsu, and the Hokage knew they were here.

They could not be gotten rid of...if he wanted to be in the shadows to protect the village.

"Just...assuring the problem is contained and that the caretaker will not cause you problems" the old man muttered to himself, though he spoke up for the last part. After all, as a known friend of Kushina, Mikoto wasn't a superstar in Konoha, to put it mildly. "After all, the village's honor is paramount...your'll take it from here I'll take?" the old man didn't wait for a response and vanished.

With a frown that was quickly hid, the two Uchiha hunted down their orphan.

_Meanwhile, The Land of Iron_

Might Guy was a green jump suit wearing, super browed, one hundred percent sane...(And they checked it twice when they got it back the first time) Jonnin of Konoha, who was empowered with Youth.

He had been sent on a mission by his Hokage to capture the mysterious 'Chimichanga Killer', and found this strange crack thing in the rocks...but before Guy could investigate, his teammates were cut down by the killer.

Guy was now staring down the killer, the red warrior's two swords still out, dripping with his teammates blood.

The guy was dressed in a red suit with black padding on his shoulders, leg sides, writs and eyes. Various tool belts were on his sides, as was the mysterious ball shooter.

"FALL BY THE POWER OF YOUTH!"

"TASTE THE CHIMICHANGA!"

And the two charged, chakra powered fist against sword and the oddest ability to heal from even the sword in his chest the fated battle beginning.

_Erm, a bit of the author doing a little Beowulf esc bit to point out the problem isn't gone: later_

The little girl was sitting on a cot, looking down at her feet and holding a doll as Mikoto and Itachi approached her.

The poor girl flinched and looked away.

"Don't be frightened little one" Mikoto said in a motherly tone as she dropped down onto her knee, trying to put herself at level with the scared girl "Hiko...I'm going to take you home now"

"Home..." the little girl whispered the word: so foreign to her.

"Yes, home. The eyes you have, they show that your part of our family...the Uchiha"

The girl lifted her head up, her brown locks framing her face, and her red eyes with single tomaes

_Speaking of, the Uchiha compound_

Their were many unspoken rules in the Uchiha clan

You were not to interrupt the brooding of another

You were to use your Sharingan as much as possible to obtain jutsu.

Any new jutsu you obtain is to be recorded in the clan's central register

Your loyalty was clan first and village second

Then you had the official rules: Don't kill your fellow Uchiha,

Don't rape your fellow Uchiha,

Respect the clan leader,

Learn the Fireball before your considered an adult, ect.

So when the wife of the head of the family called for a meeting, that was rather odd. It was an unspoken rule that, while the wife could legally do that, that she do not.

However, curiosity can overcome social stigma at times, and eventually all the Uchiha were in the clan meeting hall, with a somewhat annoyed Fugaku voicing the big question.

"Mikoto...what is going on? Why have you called this most, unusual meeting?"

Mikoto gave a serious look at her husband: ever since the Kyuubi attack her relationship with Fugaku was...degrading. Mainly due to her friendship with Kushina and her increasing willingness to leave the house, which most Uchiha females left only to go grocery shopping or gossip.

Right now, there were only two reason she hadn't just cried out for a divorce: which was a long and arduous process for ninja and usually was much easier to just wait for the other spouse to die, by your hand or another's.

Those two reasons were half her, half him and were named Itachi and Sasuke.

"Believe me, Fugaku: its a major problem that needs to be dealt with... immediately" she said quite coarsely, "A orphan in the Orphange has manifested the Sharingan"

The shock and uproar from this statement was expected. This sort of thing was so rare, that it was considered a worst case scenario in most cases.

"Now then" Mikoto said with a powerful seriousness that pretty much shut them up: something that few Uchiha woman could do...no only one could do "Its quite a simple question I want asked...Who had an affair nine months from around the time of the Kyuubi attack?"

That got the Uchiha males looking at Mikoto. The Uchiha males were never, EVER, called out by women.

"Well, come on? Its not like the Sharingan appears out of thin air. A father or mother is needed with the Uchiha's bloodline." Mikoto said as the males regained their mental footing after Mikoto broke so many informal taboos that a Uchiha elder had a minor heart attack.

"Your suggesting that we'd sire a child outside the clan!" a Uchiha demanded.

"Again...if anyone has any other reason for a orphaned child who was abandoned on the Orphanage's steps to have the Sharingan, I'm happy to hear it"

"...YOU LIE! WHERE IS THIS CHILD!"

"I was told by Hokage-Sama himself, saw this child's eyes myself...as to where she is, why would I tell you?"

"Its with its mother, isn't it!"

Mikoto glared at this very, very annoying member of the council "If you really want to go and find out, I dare you. However, I have better things to do than go to your funeral"

"You should be more respectful to my brother, Mikoto" Fukagu said very, very tersely as Mikoto glared back at him.

"I respect those who have earned it..."

"He's captured over a hundred criminals..."

"Look, he may have an impressive rap sheet, but I will not tolerate him bashing my friend"

"I specifically forbid you to stop seeing her!"

"You can't control my friends!"

"The clan has specifically told you..."

"They tell people not to have children outside the clan...didn't stop whoever fathered or mothered Hiko!"

"You've forgotten a woman's place..."

Itachi sighed as he watched his parents practically wage a cold war that seemed to be slowly heating up. The fact that they were growing apart...well Mikoto may think she was trying to protect Sasuke and him...

But her staying would probably only cause them more pain in the long run...oh how he envied children with divorced parents.

**A/N. Well, I needed to set up the Daughter of the Uchiha arc. To do that, I introduced her, did some fleshing out for Mikoto as she hasn't been around for a lot of the recent Fall of the Hyuga arc, and put out some stuff to show how the Beowulf problem has not been forgotten. **

**Oh, by the way the origins of Hiko are still up for some level of debate. Basically, the only Uchiha who won't be her potential father or mother will be Mikoto, Sasuke and Itachi.**

**Once next chapter is here, expect to see Naruto and Hinata again. But, until then...**

**Omake**

**Promo**

**Cross: Confirmed 2013 content**

**Altered Eyes**

_**As the New Year approaches and Naruto approaches its climax, expect the appearance of the true person who is Tobi, along with Cross favorites Fu and Haku. In particular, see the origins of a Good Sakura. What in this world will cause the changes in the banshee of Part 1 into the ideal potential love interest of Part 2? Who will Kushina end up in a sexual relationship with? When will Naruto develop his own Rinnegan? Will his relationship with Hinata count as incest or not? Will Shikamaru ever get a on screen fight scene?**_

**Next Gen**

**_As the team of Superboy, Miss Martian, Rocket, Fairchild and Impulse begin to teach the next gen of Superheroes against the Light, Superboy's greatest fear comes full force. Meanwhile, Robin and his team deal with the aftermath of their conflict with the Next Gen Doctor Doom and Kid Flash's team ends up being pushed by outside forces to create the Hero War the Future Wally spoke of: between his team and Superboy's. Who killed the Light? Featuring the revamped origins and appearances of Cassandra Sandsmark, Starfire, Scarlet Witch, Jean Gray, Bunker, Magneto, Swamp Thing and more._  
**

**Altered World**

**_As the Harry Potter story finally comes to an explosive climax, Harry and his Harem will come into conflict with Voldemort and his own harem, as the secret of Alex Russo and Percy Jackson's Team Mediterranean are revealed that will shake the story's status quo forever. And what cliffhanger will probably get me more hate mail than I already get? Featuring the first, full or partial debuts of the Altered World Artemis Fowl, Doctor Who, Marvel, Apolline Delcaour, Orion Stele, Jason Grace, Carter Kane and perhaps even common sense!_**


	9. Innocence and Lust

So...I'll try to speed the story up a little.

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Leaf; Actually...while some ideas I have are there, other ideas are a lot more flexible. For all you know, she could be a descendant of Naruto Uchiha from Earth 51411 (Last Vampiress), son of Karin and Sasuke the Hokage. No, Hiko isn't, but I have to point out.

61394: This isn't St. Louis, the most dangerous place in the US...I think. Mikoto won't go unholy rage mode unless she has a reason. Seeing as I respect Narcissa and Lucius's marriage in HP, I won't destroy the Uchiha family without proper build up.

Yuri-Hime Chan; Your image inspires me...

Ob1292: It could be the truth...

Gaiseric; I can't exactly explain why people have affairs.

Alpha Leige: I'll try and avoid excessive flashbacks then and that was Deadpool of Marvel fame. It came to me for some reason.

The Neimand: People really seem to be blaming Fugaku

Naruhina: Perhaps, but I added Deadpool as a forewarn. After all, it shows there are ways to get to Kushina, for Artemis and Beowulf.

KingRobert: when I get a chapter up for Young Justice Next Gen and Harry Potter Altered World. As it takes me a day or two at least to write them, so generally expect a update every 3-6 days.

JC: As I said to Yuri-Hime, you have inspired me.

I promised you Naruto and Hinata, right? Well, here they are

Recap

_"Now then" Mikoto said with a powerful seriousness that pretty much shut them up: something that few Uchiha woman could do...no only one could do "Its quite a simple question I want asked...Who had an affair nine months from around the time of the Kyuubi attack?"_

_That got the Uchiha males looking at Mikoto. The Uchiha males were never, EVER, called out by women._

_"Well, come on? Its not like the Sharingan appears out of thin air. A father or mother is needed with the Uchiha's bloodline." Mikoto said as the males regained their mental footing after Mikoto broke so many informal taboos that a Uchiha elder had a minor heart attack._

_"Your suggesting that we'd sire a child outside the clan!" a Uchiha demanded._

_"Again...if anyone has any other reason for a orphaned child who was abandoned on the Orphanage's steps to have the Sharingan, I'm happy to hear it"_

_"...YOU LIE! WHERE IS THIS CHILD!"_

_"I was told by Hokage-Sama himself, saw this child's eyes myself...as to where she is, why would I tell you?"_

_"Its with its mother, isn't it!"_

_Mikoto glared at this very, very annoying member of the council "If you really want to go and find out, I dare you. However, I have better things to do than go to your funeral"_

end Recap

_The Uzumaki House: the heavily seal warded backyard_

"CAN'T CATCH ME!"

Now, who do you think would say that...the extroverted, cheerful Naruto, or the Introverted, shy Hinata?

Now, in canon the answer is simple...but here...

"HINATA!" Naruto was chasing after her, the girl giggling all the while before he jumped and knocked her to the ground.

"HEY!"

"TAG, YOUR IT!"

With a chorus of childhood giggling, Naruto sped off as Hinata chased back after him, as Hiko was hesitantly playing along. In the orphanage, they never had been really allowed to play.

For her, it was a rather new experience.

Hitromi smiled at the sight of the playing children. So few Hyuga were ever even allowed to play, that is no Hyuga at all.

She missed her husband, her brother in law and her nephew...alone of her deceased clan. The rest of her relatives were just...not pleasant to be around...

"OW...MOMMY HITOMI!"

However, with a dark look, she recalled one ADVANTAGE of the stuck up Hyuga clan: they scared the Civilians in a 'touch us and die' sort of way, or intelligent terror.

Here, she had to deal with civilians who were scared of the Kyuubi and responded in the 'kill it dead' school of thought.

Running over, Hitomi saw that Naruto had a slight lump on his head, some tears coming out of his eyes and a book with a Naruto's head shaped impression laying in the grass nearby.

The civilians were constantly trying to throw things at Naruto, and it was a very, very annoying process of trying to add more items to the wards under 'repel'. They couldn't do too extreme wards, lest there be a lack of sunlight, rain or oxygen in the backyard.

"A book...does it have stories Mommy" Hinata asked cutely as Hitomi examined the title "Can you read it to us for bedtime?"

_Icha Icha_

_By Jiraiya the Sannin_

"erm...no" Hitomi blushed.

"Aew, come on" Naruto said, still sounding a little upset. "You said that its important for us to read!"

"...Appropriate books, anyway"

"What's appropriate mean?" Naruto tilted his head in confusion as screams of terror rang out.

"...YAY! Mommy Kushina got the baddie...why do they scream like that?" Hinata asked rather curious.

_The Hokage's office_

Hiruzen discretely hid the very same sort of book thrown at Naruto, though he would never make his touch the dirty ground with its godly goodness, as Kushina stormed into his office, angrier than a peeked on Tsunade.

And if what his telescope techniqued orb was any indication, it was about the Icha Icha thrower.

"Another one?" He asked very, very annoyed as she dragged in another knocked out civilian, beat up quite aggressively.

After discovering she had the Rinnegan, he had made sure she get practice with it, though he wished it didn't have to be on the civilians. Their attempts at trying to get at Naruto was starting to suggest an intelligence level equal to lemmings.

After all...this was the first time he had hoped to be wrong about a hypothesis...he imagined that nothing good would come out of the civilians mindless following about that ass on the throne.

However, he wasn't sure why she left this one alive...before he got a better look at him.

"So...soon to be former director of Finances...explain to me why you are now here for assault and attempted assassination " he wanted to add a charge for damaging the Icha Icha...but with a woman here that might be a bad thing

"Its too dangerous to keep around! It will snap and one day we will be our destruction. Like a rapid animal, the Dai..."

"Isn't attacking my son a way to get him to snap?" Kushina said darkly "And stop hiding behind that bastard"

"...IT MUST DIE"

"There is so little good help these days" Sarutobi sighed "Very well...Kushina..."

The soul of the man was sucked away, as the Hokage observed with some interest.

What did happen to the souls?

_Root Base, the same time_

The Rinnegan...

Danzo was grinning as he saw this Kekkei Genkai, having left a little spying seal in the security seals of the Hokage's tower.

It was small, hard to see, and he put it there so long ago, and so indiscreetly, that only the best of the best seal masters could find it, and even then they'd have to be looking for it.

It was something he had yet to meet with a similar sealing grace...then again he was no Uzumaki...

The Uzumaki. He had assumed they were the best for their endurance and sealing power...but the Rinnegan...

He had only heard rumors from his Ame nin about that.

The power of gods...in the hand of Konoha...

In the possession of Root...

He would have to obtain it, but how? Kushina was not going to give the eyes up, and her son was not assured to have it.

Perhaps he should take more time to test if it was possible to clone eyes. If he could figure out a method to clone eyes and change the eyes of his ROOT nin, or add them in to his older ones who have lost eyes.

But how to? Did he need eye fluid? The user's DNA? The eye's specific flesh? He'd have to test it, but seeing as the Rinnegan and Byukugan were rare and highly protected...

Well, the Uchiha were so arrogant they didn't lock their windows. Better he go into them than say, Iwa.

He'd start with the eye fluid...it was the least likely option, but also the quietest. Blood samples would follow for DNA, and if that didn't work...

Well, he'd wait for the right mission moment when the Uchiha was dying, dead or in a position where killing the Uchiha was warranted by even Sarutobi...

_Konoha Science Lab, a few days later_

Mikoto was reading a pamphlet about DNA as several scientists, whose loyalty was perfectly to the Hokgae (Who was reading a orange book that she couldn't see the title of), waiting for the results.

The ninja system retained a complete DNA set of every citizen in Konoha: even the citizens. This was meant to deal with any sort of murder, theft or any sort of crime that might leave DNA. Its the sort of security their heavily militarized life.

Thus, they had every Uchiha's DNA. They could take Hiko's DNA, and figure out both her parents: father and mother.

The only reason they didn't do this for every orphan was because, if they were brought to the family that abandoned them...if it didn't work the first time, why would it work then?

A white jacketed man, with glasses and a clipboard, exited the lab an hour later.

"Yes? What does blood tell?" Hiruzen asked, knowing this could...would be a political shitstorm.

He had put down his book for this, after all.

"We have traced both of the girl's parents" the DNA specialist informed them "The maternal DNA belongs to an orphaned woman named Onnatsuki, a known prostitute who died during the Kyuubi attack, which explains her orphaning"

Hiruzen sighed. This happened too much, the red light workers often had the children of their customers. Half of the time they were put in orphanges, the other half they were raised in the brothel or by the stripper.

One has to wonder what's worse? There were plenty of nice prostitutes (...Not that Hiruzen knew that...he had never used a brothel after he was married or dating)

Mikoto sighed, it had to be a prostitute, hopefully nothing was passed...

"No signs of sexual transmitted diseases were found" the specialist added "As to the father, the father was an Uchiha..."

**Which Uchiha is Hiko's father? Will Danzo get his eyes? And will anyone take the challenge below?**

**Omake**

**Promo**

**For JC and Yuri-Hime, behold a promo for my tenth Challenge **

"WHERE IS THE DEMON!"

The Hokage had earplugs in his ears on a hunch, and it was quite an accurate one, as the civilians were screaming for death.

"The BOY is safe, and protected while we deal with certain problems...like whoever leaked the information about his Jinchuriki status"

"Who'd protect a Demon!"

Meanwhile, a little blond baby was being bottle fed by two Woman: one who was short, actually looked sort of Japanese and had white cloth braids in her black hair.

The other, with deep tan skin, golden eyes and purple hair, looked like she had came out of Jiraiya's novels.

At least one of them was pregnant.

"...His other two mothers"

_Challenge 10; Minato's CRA_

_We all see Naruto and Sasuke get the CRA going on, but what if it was someone else in it?_

**Prior to his death, Minato was also a part of the CRA, and with that he had two other wives, who survived the Kyubbi attack to raise Naruto, despite all those in their way**

**AKA, the Civilian Council**

**Now then, I hope to make this challenge, unique**

**_1; Again, all the above, Minato must have at least two wives in addition to Kushina (Can be OC or real), who survive the Kyubbi attack and raise Naruto (Note, I used Yorouchi and Sui-Feng as a little shout out for Yuri-Hime, they are not the ones you need to use)_**

**_2 The wives will not be paired with Naruto_**

**_3 Naruto does not have to be in a harem, but it is recommended_**

**_4 No bashing of; Minato, Kushina, Jiraiya, Tsunade, Sandiame or Itachi_**

**_5; He cannot be on Team 7_**

**I wonder if anyone will take this?**


	10. End of the Uchiha

So...I'll try to speed the story up a little. This chapter is the last one before we reach the academy and I actually write the younger characters as the stories fore front. You do have to agree 4 year old's can't really be responsible for a lot of direct plot, right? Anyway, your see their personalities and how they might have changed no later than the 24th...baring injury, death, computer viruses and zombie attacks.

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Chm01: As long as you put my name in the summary, I'll find it

Leaf: I tend to bring them up in my stories, and yes I love cliffing. As to Danzo...am I the only one who thinks he and Barty Crouch get way too much hate...or at least Danzo. He is definitely not a Sasuke fanboy.

Yurihime; Well, for a guy who types fast I like to think my stories are of decent quality

Guest: I think that would have morality problems. I mean, if you are doing that, it might just save you a lot of complains about mary sue OC's just to have him be with Kushina for the incest flags

61394: Your find out

Naruhina; Again, Danzo is not, at least in my view...evil.

Okay, lets get this done

Recap

_A white jacketed man, with glasses and a clipboard, exited the lab an hour later._

_"Yes? What does blood tell?" Hiruzen asked, knowing this could...would be a political shitstorm._

_He had put down his book for this, after all._

_"We have traced both of the girl's parents" the DNA specialist informed them "The maternal DNA belongs to an orphaned woman named Onnatsuki, a known prostitute who died during the Kyuubi attack, which explains her orphaning"_

_Hiruzen sighed. This happened too much, the red light workers often had the children of their customers. Half of the time they were put in orphanges, the other half they were raised in the brothel or by the stripper._

_One has to wonder what's worse? There were plenty of nice prostitutes (...Not that Hiruzen knew that...he had never used a brothel after he was married or dating)_

_Mikoto sighed, it had to be a prostitute, hopefully nothing was passed..._

_"No signs of sexual transmitted diseases were found" the specialist added "As to the father, the father was an Uchiha..._"

End recap

_The Uchiha compound_

Itachi closed his eyes, contemplating his life...as the water glass next to him began to ripple.

And ripple

And ripple.

Faster, more intense ripples kept coming, as he sensed a powerful killing intent...

Looks like he won his bet with Shishui...

"FUGAKU!"

His mother had came back, aiming to rip his father a new one.

The anger of the woman scorned.

Luckily, Itachi had purchased earplugs for such an occasion. He had even given some to his beloved brother...

That made him sound creepy...like an incestful pedophile.

_Down below in the battleground...the Head House_

"FUGAKU!"

Said fish guy collapsed to the ground, shocked out of his...rosie palm date as his wife stormed in...furious about something.

"Would you be quiet! Your son is trying to sleep...not that a overreaching..."

Her glare silenced him RIGHT THERE.

"Don't you dare talk to me about **duty**, you bastard. You cheated on me with a prostitute and fathered a child!"

"So what?"

Mikoto was not expecting that response...she was expecting denial.

"It is the duty of an Uchiha wife to give pleasure to her husband whenever he desires it. You were out with your friends and thus I was within Uchiha rights to seek it elsewhere. Though here I thought whores used birth control or were sterile"

"Are you trying to say its my fault that you cheated because I have FRIENDS!?"

"Yes, non Uchiha friends...you shouldn't even have to ever leave the compound. But you did...and thus it was perfectly in my right to deal with my needs where you were truanting about with that Kushina whore and that Hyuga..."

Mikoto was incensed...

But Itachi appeared behind him before she slapped the head of the police, which would just result in an arrest.

"Mother...as much as you want to, don't hit the bastard" he sighed, despite his earplugs he could still here the conversation.

Not much, but he got the feel that his mother was about to do something completely warranted but just asking for trouble.

"Son..."

"Unfortunately" he quipped as he let his mother down.

"...Itachi, get your brother. We're leaving" Mikoto turned around, going towards the stairs to her youngest son's room...

"No, only you are leaving. I, as the head of the Uchiha...annual our marriage, banish you from the Uchiha Clan, and take sole custody of MY children Itachi and Sasuke, Uchiha. You will have no contact with them. You will not be welcome in the Uchiha Compound. You are forbidden from having a child...as is that spawn who is unrelated to the Uchiha clan. You can have that illegimate child to replace true children...now leave: trespasser"

Mikoto was frozen in shock, as Itachi blinked.

He could have briefly been sure he had seen a different couple replace them briefly...a black woman with white hair and a dark clothed man in vaguely cat like cloths, but it was only for a moment (A/N...This has caused Marvel to officially make BP just...urg! If I ever write comics, I will kill T'Challa in a horrific manner...maybe flesh eating anal parasites. He will be Next Gen Cannon Fodder...and before that single panel he was actually a favorite of mine.)

"...You will be trespassing in 5 seconds, now leave this woman, Itachi. She is nothing to any of us"

"No"

"What did you say" Fugaku said, darkly, like the moonless night in a black outed city.

"As a ninja, I am officially an adult. You cannot order me as a father. You...are a jerk, and a terrible parent. Your a bigot, a task master and a wannabe person of importance. You lack skills in any sort of combat, you have an over inflated ego, you cheated on your wife..."

"I had no wife..."

"...You may also have delusions and live in an alternate reality where men can have children on their own..."

_Meanwhile, upwards in the bedroom_

A soundly sleeping Sasuke was fast asleep, earplugs masking the sound of his family being destroyed.

Thus, the steps of the crippled man approaching him was not heard...not until he picked him up and vanished.

_Back downstairs_

"...You eat far too much steak, your a war mongering coward, your..."

"SILENCE YOU BASTARD CHILD! YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT MINE!"

"No one's else's face looks like my cheek bones are overcompensating for something. You make me look like a dehydrated creeper. "

"HOW DARE YOU! I HAVE NEVER...HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE** ME** OF CHEATING ON YOU...WHO HAD A DAUGHTER WITH A STRIPPER AND LEFT HER IN AN ORPHANGE" Mother and Son said at once

"I have no daughter, and you hang around with those dyk..."

Now Mikoto was oh so ready to punch the bastard, but Itachi stopped her, and deciding he was done, body flickered up the stairs.

"COME BACK HERE BOY, AS CLAN HEAD..."

Fugaku was silenced by Itachi doing something very...un Itachi.

"SASUKE!?"

His brother was gone.

_Danzo's lair, early that morning_

Danzo had his bottles of eye fluid from over a dozen Uchiha, and was ready to begin to test it out. He had a good feeling that he could get the eyes for his ROOT from these samples.

He had visited over a dozen houses to get as many samples of as possible...but didn't go the head house...

Itachi would have sensed him, after all. The boy was as bright as the sun.

_A few years later_

Itachi, in the dead of night walked by the doors to the academy...the day before his brother would have been due to join it.

Before he was kidnapped, the day he lost what little respect he had for his father.

The day his family was split apart.

He had remained close to his mother...who was now with Kushina Uzumaki...how oddly ironic his father's politically incorrect taunt later turned out to be true.

While he was glad to see his mother have some support, even if it was used by Jiraiya to create a second novel of perverted taste, and even if she ended up with an odd tattoo between her shoulders...he didn't live with them.

He had nothing against lesbians, or polygamy...and he liked everyone there, but the sight of the children they looked after: Naruto Uzumaki, Hinata Hyuga and Hiko, soon to be Uchiha, made his heart ache.

How they should have had a fourth companion...

But...how little time he had to contemplate the past, for he had a job to do...

For after this night, assuming that his brother was still alive...only four Uchiha would remain...and two of them would regain their names once the traitors were dead.

An action as ordered by the Hokage, and no one else.

**Okay, next time I write, its going to be the Academy. I do need to introduce...the token good Sakura.**

** Omake**

**Non Canon (?)**

**Wrong Afterlife**

Minato Namikaze: the Yellow Flash, the legendary blond of Konoha, he who did not become a pervert while being taught by Jiraiya...was quite confused.

He had been swallowed by the Shinigami, a price for sealing the Kyuubi into his son to stop its rampage...and privately believed that this was a worthy fate for someone who made his son into a Jinchuriki.

But...this wasn't the stomach of a god. It looked like the inside of a volcano...with no sky.

"Well well, hello nicer counterpart to James Potter"

Turning around, Minato drew his tri pronged Kunai to spy...a blond teenage girl?

The girl had pale blond hair, almost white, which was immensely unkempt. Her eyes seemed to be a tad unhinged, she had earrings that appeared to be some sort of onion...and had a trident, bat wings and a tail.

She also appeared to be 14.

"Who are you...where am I?"

"I am Luna Lovegood...Queen of Hell. I don't know why I have a ninja in my domain...but the whole, sacrificing your son thing bought you a first class ticket to damnation...by Nargles!"

Minato heard this, paled briefly, before he steeled himself and dropped his kunai "I deserve it...do with me what you will"

The girl blinked with her glowing eyes "Your not arguing with me?"

"No"

"Not trying to tell me you did it for the greater good?"

"No"

"No plans to escape?"

"My wife would just send me back here"

Luna sighed "Oh poo...you know there are laws against torturing willing souls in hell. Those in hell need to be trying to get out of here, saying they aren't deserving of it. Quirrel didn't want to be here, he claimed he was a hero for the purebloods. Nor did Richard Nixon (THE PRESIDENT CAN'T COMMIT SINS), Adolf Hitler (THE JEWS SENT ME HERE!), John Wilkes Booth (SIC SEMPREIS TYRANNUS!), Andrew Jackson (SO WHAT IF I IGNORED THE SUPREME COURT AND SENT THOSE INJUNS AWAY!), Tobias Snape (THAT SHIT SON OF MINE DESERVED TO BE HIT), Tom Riddle Senior (I AM BETTER THAN YOU, DEVIL) or Henry Ford." she didn't like Anti-Seminites. Unfortunately...he got paroled to Asphodel in the 60's."...Wonder if Valhalla is willing to trade me a viking or two for you?"

She had gotten a good deal for future stakes on Donald Trump in exchange for General Romnell from Norris upstairs

"Come again..."

"Crumple Horn Snorkacks, lock him in the fly of despair while I go call my solicitor." she did believe he had finished up with that O.J Simpson thing.

A bunch of horrific, demonic creatures suddenly grabbed Minato, and through him into a rip in reality...

It took him 2 minutes to start screaming, a new record.

Chuckling, Luna heard Ron Weasley wonder if he could give his soul for good grades in his fifth year.

Oh, this could be fun.


	11. First day at the Academy

I had a delay in writing due to a mis understanding about a comment in Next Gen. Thus...a delay. Sorry kids...teens...young adults...adults...others

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A lot of them: I am going to clear this up now. What happens at the end of the last chapter is the Uchiha event, true, but Itachi is on official orders from the Hokage, the Uchiha are going to be called out as traitors, he won't leave for Akatsuki and in fact remains to be the new Uchiha head.

Cm01: Eventually I hope to

Leaf: True, the only known Uchiha left are Itachi, Mikoto and Hiko. They don't know Sasuke and his kidnapper, **(T)Obi**to are alive.

61394: A family disintegrating

Dalek: Yeah...but does he need to ask for Devil Luna's 'help'

Ob1292: I never said he was a nice guy

Yurihime: Lemon demon. I just thought that Luna being the devil of a universe would be funny

Brown Phantom: That is a good question, why is it easier to make a jerk Fugaku than a jerk Hiashi? I mean, I did have a good Fugaku over in Mysterious Power...yet I've never done a evil Hiashi in one of my worlds. He's just...socially challenged.

Naruhina; So, should I expect to see your new account reviewing now...and why didn't you take Naruhina as your user name?

The Neimend: Your see him again one day.

Once upon a time, an out of shape, socially awkward Connecticut boy was on a type writer, using material that is not owned by him to write a story that gives him the strangest idea of people reading it...

_Unknown location_

"Like the Harry Potter of Earth 082811, the Kushina Uzumaki of Earth 102412 has broken Reality. But, as oppose to his fusion of reality, she's linked them, worlds such such as Earth 121812, world of the Devil Luna Lovegood, Earth 112612, home of Beowulf: Son of Artemis and Zoe Nightshade, and Earth 12712, a world where Peter Parker lives quietly with Mary Jane and Gwen Parker on a ranch on Avengers Island, when not doing Avenger work as Spiderman, SpiderWoman and Arachne" A tall, tuxed ma, whose tux probably was worth more than the Uchiha clan all together, mused, the light of the meeting room making his many scars seem darker.

"These breaks in reality are getting annoying" an identical man commented with a grimace "We work for the greater good of the multiverse in ways the ninja with the eye fetish can only dream of. Even a world who only entered our line of sight after the Crisis has been affected. Does reality have a disease..."

"Perhaps...perhaps not...if it is a disease though, and perhaps if it isn't...continue preparations to . "

_Uzumaki house_

A eight year old boy with whisker marks on his face burst out of his bed, his alarm going off as he blinked.

"What did Mommy Hitomi put in my ramen last night?"

Oh well...he wasn't going to announce it or anything. If he did, he might not be able to go the academy today!

_Said Academy_

The highest institution of ninja education in the Land of Fire, the academy now a days had problems with civilian infestation.

The old system under pre Kyuubi conditions caused the civilians who were in the academy to get a much more rigorous application process that made it so that not just any civilian could join.

As oppose to anyone with chakra (the entire population), you had to be in a certain percentile, though at times it could be waved if you promising and a percentile five below what was expected.

Now, Mikoto stood by the gate, the three young children under the Eye Trio's care with her, and ignoring the glares...

Well, all but one.

"Why...why do they have to glare at us"

Surprisingly, this is not Hinata, as said girl, who did not have a heat stroke enducing jacket on her, but a much thinner purple one, had a smirk on her that spoke of confidence Hinata's normally did not possess...though not in that other world's smirk of superior beauty that gives you rape vibes.

"Because people are...unfortunately biased" Mikoto gently told the nervous Hiko, who was doing a better canon Hinata then well...Hinata. "Have fun, tell all of us about how the teachers are with you guys, and don't call an Akamichi fat"

The killer intent that erupted from that...from five blocks away convinced the children to listen.

"Don't worry Mommy Mikoto. We're going to have a great first day...BELIEVE IT!"

"...Please don't shout that out, Naruto-Kun. People will think your a little off in the head" they did not need to give the bigots any ammunition.

"But Mom says the same thing about Jiraiya, and he's awesome"

"...Never say that again" Mikoto deadpanned.

_Meanwhile, the air vents_

Itachi liked peace and quiet...particularly after having to kill off all his traitorous relatives.

As the new head of the Uchiha, and not bothering to fix his clan's reputation due to how they would have a bad one just from being friendly with the Uzumaki, he wasn't going to sped the rest of the week trying to improve the political influence of his greatly diminished clan.

He was going to make sure no one harassed his younger sister...and her step siblings (What did you call them?)...by listening to every conversation going on via his super ninja observation skills...

It was cold in the ducts.

Perhaps he should have just impersonated a lunch lady.

_In the classroom_

Iruka Ukio liked to believe that he was an unbiased teacher.

He taught students of every skill level equally. He gave as much encouragement and advice to the dead lasts as he did the rookies of the year.

So having the village's Jinchuriki was...tough on him.

One on hand...the fox had killed his parents. He was one on the few people who could hate Naruto and you could actually understand it, and feel very faint pity for.

On the other...could the boy really be the fox with a human mother alive, and loving him. Could the rumors about who his father was be true?

...Due to his confusion, and the whole, Hokage threatening him with a 'date' with Ibiki, thing...he would just let things go as they did.

He wouldn't do anything to make it harder...but that didn't mean he'd be taking the kid out for ramen on his poor teacher budget.

If the rumors were true...he'd be unable to pay for rent

Unaware of their teacher debating to himself if he should be his canon or bashed self, Naruto, Hinata and Hiko took a seat up on a top row, Hiko in the middle because the poor girl was shy and stuttery.

Soon children began to funnel in: a kid in a trench coat and shades who was either a flasher, or a Aburame, a Inuzuka boy with a very cute puppy on his head who was eating a piece of bacon that didn't look all that fully cooked, a blond girl who might be a Yamanaka who looked bored, a pink haired girl who was obviously civilian who didn't seem to want to be there, a bored looking kid who promptly fell asleep (Obviously either a Nara, or a heavy partying eight year old), and a chubby boy who was probably the Akamichi Mommy Mikoto had told them to not insult.

Then...Hinata and Hiko felt a disturbance in the force...no not that force.

The girl force...a force that could only be summoned by...

The Inuzuka quickly ran over to the Aburame's row, sitting by the bug kid, while the Nara, who had been sitting next to the Akamichi already...nervously fidgeting closer to the fat kid.

Bugs and obesity were natural repellent for...them.

As a dozen civilian females entered the room, somehow much more loud and noticable than the two dozen males who followed.

'Future fan girls of the world...troublesome' the Nara thought to himself.

He had assessed the Ninja born in the room as soon as he got here...only he and the Inuzuka heir wouldn't be repulsed by either their looks, behavior or that odd hate the Uzumaki boy had.

Where was an Uchiha male when you wanted one around?

_Later that day_

"So, no problems the first day?" The Sandiame asked the still shivering Itachi, whose skin was oddly blue tinted after a long day in a freezing air duct.

"N...Noo Hokage-Sama...n...n...nothing to...oo..oo...o report" Itachi shivered a stutter as the Hokage sighed.

Why didn't he just pretend to be a lunch lady...

"Your dismissed, Itachi-Kun. Go get some Hot Chocolate"

"Hai.."

Then the killer intent flared up

As Itachi moved to check that out, the Hokage glared at him.

"Itachi-Kun, your currently close to suffering from Hypothermia. Go drink some hot chocolate. Your too valuable to die from air vent exposure...I'll send Yamato to deal with it"

Oh, how he hoped that someone just called an Akamichi a fat ass.

_That night, Uzumaki home, Master's bedroom_

Kushina, Hitomi and Mikoto rarely used their sleep clothing, because Kushina was, due to the Rinnegan...very 'energetic'.

However, one the occasion that the bigotry (That, while they had told Naruto it was due to the seal he had on his stomach which held an immense power...well could you tell a young child they had a psycotic demon in their stomach? They did plan to tell him when he graduated...or if he seemed mature enough to handle it), became rather blatant, they actually put one some nightgowns and held the scared children in their arms as they fell asleep together.

Of course, Kushina wasn't feeling 'on edge' tonight, so the children were safe.

This was all due to a priest who had just been ordained by the head of the local faiths of the Land of Fire, aka the Daimyo. So, said priest ended up being the kind that the jerk who didn't seem to poison easily's wanted to be in charge of the faith: bigoted, charismatic and the kind who could make the mindless, illiterate mobs of the Land of Fire obey his whims, and had a hatred of those the Daimyo considered inferior.

Atheists, Pro-Democracy fringers, Prostitutes , Jinchuriki, Homosexuals, Bisexuals...the last three in particular caused the problem when the priest began a long winded rant about 'those destined for hell' as they returned from a celebratory dinner at Ichiraku's.

He was currently with Ibiki.

When the children were fast asleep, hugged in the embrace of each specific parent...their tears of terror, though ceasing to flow, having stained their mothers robes, Hitomi asked the big question.

"Why do we put up with this place?"

It wasn't good for the children...but then would it be any good if they were on the run with them?

**Omake**

**Non Canon**

**Villains seminar**

Today was Villainous Development day at Crossoverparinglover studios.

This was the day where the villains took classes, listened to seminars and did a bunch of other paraprofessional things to make themselves better villains.

Or was it worse... considering they are meant to be unpleasant.

Last year, Voldemort had taken a course on thinking outside his box, and look at how well the guy was performing over in Altered World, compared to Restored Legacy.

Before, he had been content with just doing the same old magic, but now he was going after secrets from the School, from the Death Weapon Meister Academy, and was currently after a devil's fruit.

He was currently teaching 'how to take over a nation' courses.

Other classes included Villain code of conducts by President Snow, ways to be a god by Doctor Doom, and how to use villainy to get the heroes to do your work for you, by Sinestro.

Justin Beiber was throwing the end of the day concert, in a laser/magic/power ring/anything lethal open concert.


	12. The Civilians Big Move: Part 1

Faves 152

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C2's 9

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Edboy: The Promethei may mention the worlds, but I like to think its not a X-over, its like a Marvel movie's end credit scene, eg Thanos, Thor's hammer or Nick fury's debut

Leaf: To me, there are two types of priests: their are nice men of faith who want to help people, and their are xenophobic fundamentalists. The guy from last chapter was type 2.

61394: So your rooting for the bad guys?

Formerly Naruhina fan: Nice explanation, it was and Kiba...he carries a puppy around. Girls love puppies!

Dalek: Spongebob...hey people walk on walls in Naruto land.

Alpha: How I love the land of the worlds largest reported crocodile in captivity. Say hello to Lolong for me, would ya?

Yuri-Hime: What kind of ban?

Stallion; My bad

Niemand: They had to harass someone.

Now, take a moment of silence for poor dead Neji Hyuga. I once predicted he and Choji would die during the war. How right I was...and sad at that too

But, another unintentional ironic in hindsight moment of mine later (Like how a white trash family I jokingly called the Ewualls (Er, spelling may vary, the white trash family from Mockingbird), a story is to get a new chapter

Oh, by the way, this chapter shall begin the process of creating 'good Sakura'. I do hope what I have done will be unique.

_The Capital of the Land of Fire, Royal Fire Hospital_

It was a record day for the Royal Fire Hospital, with over a hundred coma ridden patients coming in, mostly retainers and minor nobles.

It was obviously a political day in the capital, and that level of KI could only be caused by one person around here.

The Fire Shadow...

Said Fire Shadow burst into the bleach white facility, very ticked off.

"I am so too old for this shit..." he muttered, however the old man wasn't here to vent.

"As the Hokage, I hereby extend an apology to all the victims of the...disagreement between the Daimyo and myself. Forward their therapy bills to the Konoha Victims rehabilitation fund"

This, stated officially to the secretery, who would send the memo out, served two purposes.

1: by taking initiative, it was a bit of good publicity for himself, and prevented the Daimyo for using the incident against himself. Good PR never hurt.

and 2: he actually did care. Sure he had been a military general for a para-military spy organization, but they signed up to suffer horrifically. Citizen casualties was something he didn't like to deal with.

In his eyes, Ninja served to protect the lives of the citizens of their nations. Being used as a tool of war, was something that had sadly evolved.

Sadly so many had forgotten about that, even those his age like Danzo, that he couldn't retire with good faith.

To citizens from the non Konoha areas of the land, and to the Uzumaki, let alone the rest of his ninja.

_The Academy, a few weeks later_

"Your puppy doll is so cute!"

"zzzzz"

Kiba and Shikamaru were getting really FED up with the fan girls who were taking up imitating them.

Half of them had begun bringing stuffed animals in their clothing like Akamaru, and the other half spent the day in class sleeping.

And, as the XX chromosome fearing members of the class, they were too scared to try and get them to leave them be!

It got to a point that Shikamaru could no longer sleep in class because it only encouraged them! And everything in the class, which he already knew, was SOOOO boring that he had to figure out something else to do to keep his mind busy.

So far, his piece of string, his stress ball, his 'When the Woman Of Planet 23 Attack' novel and his water bottle had all been confiscated by Iruka.

"Alright class, your quizzes have been graded" Iruka exclaimed as he held out each graded exam.

This test didn't have an essay on it, which meant this quiz was an exception to the general rule, but it was something that Iruka did intelligently.

On class given essays, which he would have to grade, he was quite worried about how he would deal with Naruto's essay, as he had noticed that actions and behaviors that Naruto did and got more aggravated about them (Eg, whispering to tell Hinata an interpretation of an answer that she would understand better bothered him more than when Shikamaru would do the same thing with Choji).

He was worried he would be overly critical of Naruto's essay, and then when he took the quiz home to be signed by a parent (school policy), his mother would pick up the over critical grade, and he'd meet Ibiki in a dark and cold room.

He was not going to risk that because of instincts that he inadvertently had.

Passing the scored tests, with both a number grade and their rank in class.

The numbers included the following

Naruto, 8th (BELIEVE IT!)

Shino 3rd (...)

Choji 14th (Munch munch...better than what I thought)

Hinata 6th (Excellent)

Hiko 11th (...W...h...at)

Kiba 18th (...Mom's going to make me dog chow...and damn they still won't leave me alone)

Shikamaru 1st (TROUBLESOME!)

He had gotten so bored in class, he accidentally scored top in the class!

His mother would never leave him alone now!

"No yelling in class, Shikamaru. Remember to get your tests signed by Monday, now take out your textbooks to page 20"

_Uzumaki House_

"We're SO proud of all of you!"

"But...I d...didn't even get in...into the top...10?" Hiko stuttered as Mikoto chuckled.

"Well, you did better than some people in this room"

Kushina blushed "...Test's don't tell you anything about ability..."

Laughter ensued from everyone BUT Kushina

"ITS NOT FUNNY! Deadlasts have passed the tests...Believe Me!..." she covered her mouth as she blushed as Mikoto recalled a conversation a few weeks ago.

_"Don't worry Mommy Mikoto. We're going to have a great first day...BELIEVE IT!"_

_"...Please don't shout that out, Naruto-Kun. People will think your a little off in the head" they did not need to give the bigots any ammunition._

_"But Mom says the same thing about Jiraiya, and he's awesome"_

_"...Never say that again" Mikoto deadpanned._

"...I thought I got over my Tourette Syndrome" she said weakly.

"What's Tourette Syndrome?" Naruto asked "I've never heard about, Believe It!"

"...Erm okay kids, Mommy Hitomi is going to get Dinner ready while I go dig up my old self help books" Kushina said weakly.

_Later that night, adult's bedroom_

"Relax Kushi-Chan, everyone slips up on those habits every once in a while." Mikoto lightly stroked the bare (bar her long red locks) back with a weak voice, considering that Kushina had just let off 'steam'.

Poor Hitomi was out cold.

Was poor the correct term?

"It's not just that...I just hate feeling like some sort of lust vampire. You and Hitomi are stuck to me...and how long will that last"

When Mikoto had first joined them those years ago, both Hitomi and Mikoto could handle Kushina's lust without being knocked out.

Now, Mikoto was barely able to stay awake afterwards.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there" Mikoto yawed as she collapsed to the bed, in the land of dreams now.

The still awake Kushina sighed as she noted Hitomi's unconscious form, and the spiral symbol visible on her, the mark she had created.

"Well I see that bridge now"

_A shadowy meeting room_

"A demon, its mates, and the succubi who serve it"

Candlelight flickered in the room, shadow and light adding eerily depth to the Fox head trophy in the room.

"They have squatted in this village for long enough"

Dozens of individuals, hidden by white cloaks with coned tops.

"The cancerous shadow, shall soon see the light"

Vials of...disgusting liquids boiled in the background

"A disease of old, whose potency increases with chakra levels"

A folder filled with academy reports, labeled 'Chakra levels' covered a nearby shelf.

"The slayer of the Senju clan, the killer of our founders will be the village's savior. Sister, do you take the great responsibility"

A vaguely woman figure looked up, a mad desire in her eyes

"I shall, and the demon shall reign no more. I shall make the ultimate sacrifice to do so, but I do so...with the greatest regret"

_That next morning_

"Good bye mother...see you later!" Sakura said cutely, the pink haired girl smiling at her mother as she ran, as she coughed briefly.

Her mother, a older pink haired woman, smirked in the background, the same face that had, last night, been covered by white cloth.

"Sakura my daughter...you shall be our martyr and the bringer of the demon's end"

**Promo**

**Challenge 1**

_Challenge 1; Hanyou Naruto and his Vixens  
_

Naruto Uzumaki was many things

He had ADHD and Tourette Syndrom

He was a Jinchuriki, a container of a powerful demon

He was a orphan

He also was emotionally fragile, no matter if he tried to hide it behind a smile.

The recent argument with Sasuke and Sakura thus really got to him.

He really wanted to fit in, but it didn't seem like anything he did would ever let him fit in.

Sometimes he wondered if there was any place for a Uzumaki in this world...

POW

"OW OW OW!" He was so distracted by his morbid thoughts he walked into something.

"What the hell..." he cursed as she looked up, and paled in shock.

He had just walked into a ruin, slowly being absorbed by the forest of Wave Country. Moss covered most of its stone surface, but a single symbol was still visible on it.

A faded red spiral, like his jacket.

_While in the Wave country, Naruto and Team 7 get into a massive fight, over whatever you choose (Your choice if Kakashi is involved). The pain is too much for Naruto, and he runs off into the woods._

_While in the woods, he ends up finding a ruined outpost of Uzziogakure, the Whirlpool village where the Uzumaki hail from. Entering it, he discovers a scroll on clan sealings, the chakra trains, and a scroll of hidden techniques and researched projects never finished. While you can choose most of the abilities he finds both the chakra chains of his mother, and a project that would "truly unlock the power of a Jinchurki"_

_Naruto, in interest, ends up figuring out the project (I don't know, the missing element is Ramen, Gas, Shadow clones, something), and completes it, which knocks him out concious for a day. However, what he fails to realize, is that the project is slowly absorbing the Kyubbi into him, slowly assilmilating the beasts power into his own. The beast, itself restrained by the seal from his father, cannot fight back_

_The change manifests itself in several stages (You choose how their activated and space out)_

_Stage 1; Increase in Chakra and physical abilities. Healing abilites become his own._

_Stage 2; Increase in intelligence, increased ability to learn Jutsu, begins to sense negative emotions_

_Stage 3; Naruto's eyes become red permanetely. His emotions become more violate_

_Stage 4; Naruto's hair grows longer, ears become fox ears. T_

_Stage 5; Naruto's chakra become red all the time, cannine teeth remain permanetely elongated, a fox tail grows on him flesh and blood_

_Stage 6; He becomes the Kyuubi proper (However retaining the ability to transform back to his original form)_

_By chance, he happens to catch Inari and Tsunami being attacked, and saves them, learning of the attack on the bridge, goes to save them. Saving his former team, begrudginely, he returns to Konoha, but what he doesn't realize is that his transformation also create strange pheromones waiving off him that affects females who are compatible with him. The compatibility follows in stages (your choice in timing like Naruto's)_

_Stage 1; A strong affection/crush on him, a lack of interest in other guys (Think Hinata)_

_Stage 2; Increase of chakra, intelligence and abilities, to a lesser extent than Naruto_

_Stage 3; The females emotions become more violate, the female's begin to experinces "heat" periods_

_Stage 4; The females eyes become red, fox ears replace their human ones_

_Stage 5; A fox tail of flesh and blood grows, their chakra becomes permanetly red_

_Stage 6; The female becomes a giant fox like the Kyubbi (Less tails, can return to human form)_

_The females have to include at least Hinata, any other female is okay, as long as they aren't originally male (Haku is an exception) or a mother/married. One of the female Jinchurki (Fu and or Yugito) are recommended (Their beasts, if they're in the second stage, are replaced by the fox chakra as they are randomly dispelled without side effects) DO NOT USE SAKURA._

_Bashing of Sakura and Sasuke is required, any other form of bashing is by one's violition. Rate M, Lemons and limes optional. Can be dark. No Yaoi. _

_ has taken this challenge. Any other takers?_


	13. The Civilians Big Move: Part 2

Faves 149 (Really, why do the numbers go down? This is one of my better stories right now)

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C2's 9

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Brown Phantom; We would't have suicide bombers if this wasn't the case. Oh, by the way, expect a little joke based on your comments on Deidara in one fic, and the basis of one of your others.

Ranger; It is directed at the children

Drakefire: Its one of my more successful ones, and I needed number filler

Shortfused: I needed something evil

Alpha; But this one is actually dangerous

Robin; I hope

Shadowblog: And I don't feel like writing child rape

Yurihime; If you wish too

Darkdhampir: I left them in the second category.

Now, lets get some back story into the disease, how it ties to earlier parts of the story, and keep this storyline moving

_Flashback, a time before the 'chimichaunga killer'...in his home universe_

"Listen bub, the Legacy Virus is a deadly disease to mutants normally, and its most recent, dominate, heavily mutated strand can affect super humans regardless of the X-gene as long as they possess a super human ability. Purple lesions, coughing, fever, sweats, swollen glands, cardiac arrest, and uncontrolled mutant abilities are the symptoms, and they are just plain unpleasant. Its taken the entire hero community two years to get rid of it, and half of the mutants are gone, with a quarter of the non mutant heroes as well. Sabertooth, Black Panther, Magneto, Xavier, Angel and Psylocke...they aren't even 1 percent. This canister is the last sample of the Legacy Virus on earth, the same batch Hank, Reed and even Doom worked on to reverse a cure. Now, we'd send it to Mephisto's realm or shoot it into a sun, but we don't want any risk of it coming back. Richards managed to track down a super hero lacking universe with a tear currently up. Drop that canister in a place without life, and hoped it is never opened, and the instructions Reed left on it in over 500 languages should ensure that, should anyone find it, they won't touch it."

"Are you up to it, Deadpool?"

_A later flashback_

Kakashi Hatake was a silver haired, scarecrow like man who hid one of his eyes, which held his supposedly dead friend's sharingan.

He greatly distrusted the Jinchuriki, thought that he should be either removed from the village or kept under stronger wraps...

**PANG!**

OWW! HIS FOOT!

How did he miss that...as Kakashi looked down at what he just stubbed his foot on.

A metal canister.

_Modern day_

Kakashi, unlike what some may think he might have done, actually brought the gas canister straight to Konoha's S&D, as he could not read the kanji.

The Japanese known to Richards was their world's counterpart of latin.

However, the S&D department could read it, and promptly buried it under a ton of cement due to how dangerous it was, a disease very similar to the ailment that had killed the Senju off and rendered Tsunade barren...or planned to anyway.

For the cement company sent a worker who was a bigot, and he stole the canister and replaced it with a different one.

Hence, the current impending situation.

"Iruka-Sensei, COUGH..the reign of the Shodaime Hokage ended after he..COUGH, caught Chakra flu during the...COUGH...Senju Plague"

"Very good Sakura-Chan...the coughing was a good touch"

"Sorry sensei...COUGH...I have a tickle in my throat"

"...Class only has five minutes left before Lunch. Once we let out, go to the Infirmary. I'll send them a message to let you in late at the Cafeteria"

"Yes Iruka-Sensei...COUGH"

"Now, can anyone explain to the class the symptons of the now thankfully purged disease"

He noticed Naruto's hand go up first, and considering ignoring him could earn him a all expense payed trip to a dark dungeon with Ibiki, he let Naruto answer.

"...I know it causes the infected person to be covered in purple boils"

"Lesions, Naruto-san. Lesions?"

"What?"

"...They are sort of between scars and boils"

"So I was half correct?"

"You have the gist of it. Anyone else with other symptoms?...Shino-San?"

"I do believe it causes the victim to have their chakra control go down the toilet and flare up randomly, for instance causing all of ones chakra to flare up into one's hand and destroy one's house, or retract from the heart, causing cardiac arrest and death"

"...How accurate and mildly morbid. Both Naruto-san and Shino-san know of some of the symptoms that are quite unique to this disease. Other, less unique symptoms include sweating, fever, coughing and swollen glands. However, you have nothing to worry about, Sakura-san. The disease, as I have said earlier, no longer exists. It is a documented war crime to use this disease on any shinobi or civilian population, and is in fact one of the very few war crimes never broken by any ninja in history. The ninja worlds fears this disease that much..."

_RINNGGGG_

"But, on that note, lets break for lunch, and return here for mathematics"

_Elsewhere, a tower in a rainy city_

The masked figure who, years ago had taken Sasuke, was now currently very annoyed, his killer intent radiating from his mask at the Rinnegan bearer in front of him.

"What do you mean that prospect you were scouting is no longer available!?"

Pain, or Nagato as he was once called, sighed.

"According to Sasori's report, before we were able to meet with him...he was abducted by a succubus who came from one of those strange light patterns" aka a portal.

"A succubus?! You expect me to believe that"

"It came from Sasori...he has no sense of humor. The succubus apparently said this place was a mystical place called 'midgard' and sought her 3000th member of her male harem/private army"

"...Somehow I blame the Senju and Konoha for denying us his services. Dismissed" the masked figure vanished as Pain began to whistle and walk away.

It was 'Angel's day' in Amegakure after all, the day Konan would abduct a female for him, or the occasional male that caught his fancy.

Ah, how fondly he recalled the old days, when he only needed another harem girl every few years.

_The cameo from Lotte no Omacha and dark comments on Kushina's future aside_

"Oh my...your burning up" the school nurse, your average, middle aged, plump and graying grandmother said in concern as she placed her gloved hands, glowing with medical chakra over Sakura's ear.

"Oh my...your burning up. Why did your mother even let you go to school like this!?"

"I was fine this morning, just coughing"

"Well, I'll be having words with her when she comes to pick you up..." the woman began as she noticed, with her quite well trained eyes, a very small patched of discolored skin at the bottom of her sleeve, around her shoulder.

"Dear, what is that mark on your arm?"

"What mark?" Sakura said in slightly false confusion.

The nurse, having seen abused children in the past, and knew the signs of bully, wondered what it was. So, she lifted up the sleeve, despite Sakura's protest, to check the size of the bruise, to determine if she had to check in school or out of school.

However, while there was a bruise...

"Oh Kami...oh Kami..."

The purple lesions that covered her shoulder were much more worrisome to her

"Nurse-s..."

The nurse did a hand seal, creating a second of herself in extreme alarm.

"Clone, begin quarantine proceedings. Get the Headmaster to place the school in lock down, isolate her year! I shall warn Hokage-Sama...this is Medical DefCon 0!"

_The Hokage's office_

The Hokage, despite many assumptions, was not evil, dumb or naive.

While it was true he was not god, the Hokage took all responsible and some unreasonable, steps to deal with the Naruto issue.

He triple checked every teacher, quadruple checked the nurse particularly, and threatened them all with a vacation featuring Ibiki, leather, whips and torture devices S&M enthusiasts would find unpleasant to avoid problems.

However, he knew there would be things that would get by, so when the school's nurse burst into his office, he was ready to here a reason for Kushina to possibly nuke the village.

However, the nurse being in a hazmat suit made him wish that was the case.

"What happened..."

"HOKAGE-SAMA...A STUDENT HAS CHAKRA FLU! SHE'S COUGHING, RUNNING A HIGH FEVER, AND HAS THE PURPLE LESIONS. THE ACADEMY IS ON LOCKDOWN, NO ONE CAN COME IN OR LEAVE RIGHT NOW."

The Hokage might just take this as an over reaction, but this nurse witnessed the end days of the plague, and had seen some of the infected.

So, she knew what was legitimate...

He snapped his pipe in shock.

"WHAT!? WHICH STUDENT!?"

"Haruno Sakura"

That, he was not expecting. These things were supposed to happen to Naruto's family...but she was in his class...

"Get all available healers to the Academy at once!"

He would seal the village up, gather the council to order, and inform the parents...

The last one being the most likely to terrify him.

He hoped that the disease was caught quick enough.

_Meanwhile at the Academy _

"...COUGH you Kiba! Akamaru ate my chips during lunch! Now I'm, COUGH, STARVING"

"Your all...COUGH...as troublesome as Haruno-san's COUGH"

"Ahh...Shikamaru-Kun's so cute when he COUGH's" half the fangirls chorused.

"...Kill me now...COUGH"

Iruka was looking on, getting more and more disturbed as more of his students began coughing like poor Sakura, who hadn't returned from the nurse's office.

Aside for himself, the only ones who had yet to fall ill were Kiba, Akumaru, Ino, Kiba's fangirls and Naruto's little family. And who knew how long they had until they were infected.

With what, Iruka had no idea, but if they were calling a lock down over it, he wasn't taking any chances. He put all the coughing students on one side of the room, the non coughing on another, with the middle row in between.

True, this meant that some people had to share seats or sit on desks, but the fangirls weren't complaining...though Kiba and Shikamaru were.

"Are we...we going to get sick" Hiko shivered as Hinata frowned.

"I don't think so, I ate an apple today"

"Oh relax you two" Naruto grinned as he grabbed both of them into a shoulder hug "We're going to be fine, BELIEVE IT!"

"The Tourette Syndrom again, Naruto-Kun" Hinata told him.

"Sorry Hinata-Chan..." while they were raised as siblings, it wasn't quite the 'sibling' relationship they had. It was more like a very, very close friendship.

It was something deliberate on Kushina, Hitomi and Mikoto's part. They had legitimate reason to worry Naruto might have the Rinnegan too, if Kushina had it. Best they deal with incest problems before they potentially happened.

_Speaking of the Rinnegan user, Training Ground 84_

**BOOM**

"This is so FUCKING AWESOME!"

Hitomi paled at the huge crater Kushina had left, after discovering the Rinnegan's path, or the ability to grow machine parts from your body.

**BOOM**

Like missiles, explosives and other objects from Deidara's fantasies.

"Kushina-chan, perhaps you should keep it a lot more, low key?" Mikoto suggested. After all, they were supposed to keep the Rinnegan a secret.

They only used this, other training area because they were having their's repaired.

"But this is just...awesome!" Kushina wasn't much for the soul robbing element of the Human path, and found the Naraka's summoning of a big metal face to be...useless.

But this, was so not useless.

Playing around with it, she grew two extra arms, de-grew them and then, quite be accident formed a very large, unexplosive strap on with the Asura path.

Mikoto and Hitomi blushed immensely over it...

"Intruder" Hitomi chirped, her Byukugan active as her blush was broken.

Kushina de-grew her Asura parts and replaced her shades as the Ninja burst onto training ground.

"Yes, can I help you?" Kushina asked, quite tersely.

"There is a meeting of the council...a incident has occurred in the Academy..."

At that moment, the chunin had never seen such a burst of speed.


	14. The Civilians Big Move: Part 3

I've had a bad week, so I'm a little off

Faves 156 (Really, why do the numbers go down? This is one of my better stories right now)

Alerts 161

C2's 9

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ShadowBloodedge9396: I wouldn't think of it as pulled out of ass

Yurihime: I like to think that the fourth wall is someone talking to the audience.

Leaf Ranger: The Daimyo is not an idiot, he has back up plans. Basically, if the Hokage kills him, their are plans set up to strike back. Their are non ninja forces in the land after all

Alpha Leige: good wild or bad wild, and some alterations are allowed

Niemand: Marvel

_The story continues_

The Hokage and the Daimyo have been playing a dangerous game ever since he came to power.

The Daimyo kept attempting to play into the affairs of Ninja, and when he found that wasn't as easy as he had hoped, grew paranoid that he was going to be targeted.

It wasn't really all that paranoid, as it had crossed Hiruzen's mind a few times.

As a result, the civilian army was expanded, increased from the normal force of about 20,000 (about twice that of the Ninja corps) to 80,000, and they seemed to be poking their

Now, even at that number the ninja forces still had good potential to handle that force in a war. However, the chaos resulting from that would tear up the country, possibly start up the Fourth Shinobi World War and triple his paperwork levels.

But this meeting...he was suddenly wondering if war was that bad?

"...What sort of troublesome shit is going on here! My son somehow catches a disease that Iwa wouldn't have even struck the Yondiame with...and here we are dealing with a plague in our school!" the scarred, Deer clothed veteran Shikaku Nara, father of Shikamaru, was very, very upse.t

"If one of you is responsible for this...I will kill you...slowly" Kushina did not say darkly, she did not say angrily...she outright snarled at the civilians.

"YOU BETTER NOT HAVE!" The feral looking mother of Kiba, Tsume, snarled in rage.

The trench coat wearing Shibi Aburame was buzzing in outright rage, like a few hundred swarms of Cicadas. This was in fact one of the greatest showings of emotion from an Aburame ever shown in public.

"HOW DARE YOU YOU WHORE! I WOULD NEVER..." the Konoha minister of Parks and Recreation, a thin man who actually was not part of the conspiracy.

"Well I don't know, its not like the civilians are mildly obsessed with causing bodily harm to my son, preach about it openly, and seeing as we had to cut out the therapists from the budget five years ago, I somehow have doubts about the sanity of the civilians!"

"You think we'd risk killing our own children to kill your 'child!? I happen to care about my son, and he's in the year above your 'son!" said the now very annoyed Minister of Parks and Recreation.

Did this bitch really think he'd risk his own son? His wife wouldn't go fishing with him, his son would.

"While the way Uzumaki-san says it is a tad...politically incorrect, she does have a point. The disease is worse for higher chakra leveled individuals, part of the reason it ravaged the Senju clan particularly harshly. That is why I will say this once...if ANY of you are responsible for the disease returning...I won't get Ibiki to torture you...your be sent to find my wayward student as a 'gift'

Everyone in the room who was aware of who Orochimaru was...paled to a shade called Orochimaru 3.

_The Academy_

"COUGH COUGH..." Iruka had just come down with the flu as the medic platoon had arrived in their class room, dressed in hazmat suits.

While half of the healer squads dispatched from the hospital (Leaving a skeleton crew behind in case of burns, homicide, rape or Tora captures) began putting the academy in what could only be described at a bio hazard dome, the rest of them were going into each classroom, medical jutsu active.

These particular medical jutsu were used for detecting the virus, and were taught as part of the medical curriculum as many people followed the 'umbrella repels rain' policy in Konoha's medical practice.

That line of thinking was...unfortunately failed here.

Meanwhile, outside the dome, every single parent whose children were at the academy were waiting in extreme anguish, hoping that their children would be the ones let out after being declared clean.

The trio of Kushina, Hitomi and Mikoto were given a wide berth, but then again their terror radiated so much that might have just been to avoid palpable fear.

The door then opened up...

"MOMMIES!"

A little girl with buns in her hair ran up to two woman, who began crying in relief.

"YOSH! PA'S!" a little boy with...unusually large eyes ran up to two sickly pale (Even after relief) men, who hugged him, coughed briefly in a not Chakra Flu way, and continued as people started to walk away, though it may be just that some of them could have sworn they saw a sunset form around them

(A/N Remember, I sort of mentioned that a few chapters ago, no?)

Of course, most parents did not dwell on the author's little mix up of the general Rock Lee torture gag as a sad visual metaphor to Lee's dying adoptive parents.

They were instead hoping to see their own children come out.

As more of the older generation got out, as Sakura Haruno didn't really cross paths with any of them, including Hana Inuzuka (Who was promptly crushed and licked like crazy by her mother's canine companion)...the parents of the younger students were getting more and more anxious.

Finally...

Only four children emerged unaffected...well four and one other...

"PUP!"

Tsume cried out in joy as she saw Kiba and Akamaru weren't ill.

Kiba would normally be annoyed about being called that...but considering the circumstances, he didn't mind as the Inuzuka family, human and dog alike, embraced.

"NARUTO!"

To many of those present, but mostly the civilians who were in on what happened, they were greatly annoyed to find that the 'demon', and his two 'whores', ignoring the fact that Hinata and Hiko were too young to even have periods, let alone have sex in most civilized areas, had escaped the plague unscathed and were promptly embraced by each of their genetic mothers/stepmothers in Hiko's case.

Tears were flowing from each and every one of them.

Meanwhile, the parents whose children did not walk out...

"...This is beyond troublesome"

"My princess..."

"...I can shed tears...observation noted"

"Honey...cancel our dinner reservation. A lot of us are going to be spending all our spare time in the hospital"

_Meanwhile, far away from the village_

Hiruzen was outright infuriated as a team of Earth Release users, having pulled the cement block up, retrieved the canister, covered in kanji that, in quite warranted OVERKILL, told anyone who dug it up to not open it...EVER!

They opened it to find it was empty.

"I want the cement worker who was supposed to bury this brought to Ibiki until he squeals his crimes! I want the Science and Development Commission in my office to explain why this wasn't brought to my attention! Whoever is responsible for this...will pay dearly."

"But first...get me the Haruno!" Her daughter was the first one infected...she was the best place to check for the origin of this plague.

_Later that night_

"Mommy, what was going on? Why was everyone getting sick? Will Shikamaru and everybody else be alright? Is it going to come back...I'm scared!"

"Relax Naru-Kun...the healers will do everything they can, they have the training to deal with this disease. The Hokage is going to do everything he can to prevent it from affecting anyone else...now go to sleep. Your feel better in the morning" as was their general M.O, after a traumatic experience Kushina and her bonded allowed their children to sleep with them, holding their charges tightly as they were relieved they did not feel the greatest fears of a parent.

As Naruto began to close his eyes...they briefly shifted purple, but did not stay that way.

_A few days later_

"I DEMAND MY LAWYER..." the woman's banshee like scream was silenced as the still pissed as hell Hokage slammed his hand into the wall, visibly shaking it.

"SHUT UP! THIS IS NOT A DEMOCRACY! YOU HAVE COMMITTED CRIMES AGAINST NINJA KIND MADARA UCHIHA WOULDN'T HAVE DONE! MY STUDENT OROCHIMARU WOULDN'T RISK IT! BUT SOMEHOW, YOU PROVE TO BE MORE A PSCYOPATH THAN EITHER OF THEM!"

"I AM NO PSYCHOPATH! I WAS AIMING TO GET RID OF A THREAT TO US ALL..."

"YOU JUST BROKE ONE OF MY OWN LAWS...IN MY FACE! AND WE'VE FOUND THE MISSING CANISTER OF VIRUS IN YOUR HOME, FOUND TRACES OF IT IN A CUP WITH YOUR DAUGHTER'S SALIVA ON IT, AND ONE NOW TRAUMATIZED FORMER CEMENT WORKER PUTS YOU AT THE ILLEGAL MEETING WHERE THIS PLOT WAS CONCOCTED.

"Oh, by the way...two things actually. One, this may not be the democracy, but I still get into a ton of shit if I execute people without utterly concrete evidence, or without a confession...which you screamed out...and two, your daughter will be released from the hospital yesterday" Sakura had lower than normal chakra levels, which made the virus less effective on her. True, untreated she still would have died, and several girls her chakra level did in fact die due to the virus.

"Hmm, good. She will be take care of by my sister, and will understand that her life would have been given heroically..."

"Erm, no. You see, I've had to arrest your entire family after your cement worker confessed to his crimes and who he was working for. So, she's been put into a foster home, though I should point out that, after what you did and how it was...leaked" Shibi Aburame had heard two ANBU discuss it...and seeing as Shibi was feeling a rare emotion for him called being 'pissed off', he told the other parents, who told everyone else.

"Your daughter is now being looked at like people look at Naruto"

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I SACRIFICED MY DAUGHTER TO SAVE THE VILLAGE FROM THAT...DEMON!"

"You disgust me. Your acting like a reversed, inverted, twisted Minato...a mockery of him. Because of you, your daughter will be treated like the very person you aimed to kill...I'm told that's called Irony. As such, I felt only one family could really treat her right, and understand her situation"

"NO! YOU DID NOT! YOU...YOU BASTARD!"

_Meanwhile_

"Why is everyone glaring at me like that...what did I do wrong?" Sakura asked, tears in her eyes as everyone around her seemed to be glaring at her like she was a plague.

Kushina put a gentle hand on her shoulder "Its not what you did...its what others did. Now...I'm going to take you home"

**Omake**

**Canon**

**Bee's cameo first appearance that breaths epicness YO!**

"YO! WHAT UP WITH THIS COOL PLACE! IT SCREAMS IN MY FACE!"

**'Bee...get out of here. I don't like it'**

"Oh chill my brother from another mother, I ain't scared of these lights o' color!"

Killer Bee, a huge, dark skinned man with shades, blond hair, a love for rapping and Gyuki the Eight Tails inside of him, had been assigned by Kumo to investigate a 'oddity' in the Land of Lightning.

That oddity had been a portal, and he ended up in another world...in the middle of a battle.

"OWW! THAT LIGHT DAMN HURT! I BETTER BE REIMBURSED!"

"What is that...person" a strange, metalic creature with an oddly designed head asked an identical creature.

"I don't know...BLAST THEM!"

More red lasers flew at Killer Bee, who was now annoyed

"YOUR PAY FOR THAT! LIKE IF YOU CALLED AN AKAMICHI FAT!" he drew his seven swords...

_15 seconds later_

"GENERAL! A CRAZY AND UNKNOWN JEDI WITH SEVEN LIGHTSABRES AND NO CLEAR SANITY IS RIPPING THROUGH OUR BASE...AHHHH!..." the transmission was literally cut off, leaving a large metal being to wheez in annoyance.

Why did he have to command such pitiful minions.

"I don't get payed enough for this shit" and turned around, activating his extra two arms as he drew four cylinders from his belt covered with them. "For you can never do your job right if you don't do it yourself...cough cough. At least this one will be a worthy kill"

**Sadly, the omake ends before we get to see Grievous and Bee battle to the death...**

Grevious stood defiant, charging with his lightsabres, pilfered from his victims, as Bee the Eight Tails charged up a tail beast ball...

**Oh, scratch that, now it ends after I throw that epic visual out of my head.**

**You know, it now strikes me that, as someone who lives near Newtown CT...perhaps a elementary school being targeted by killer viruses might just be a bit too soon. Maybe this is where I got the idea from? If any readers lost anyone to a disaster like this...I'm sorry if this offends you. If someone close to you managed to survive a situation like this: Newtown, Virgina Tech, Columbine, 9/11...picture your elation, for you can truly understand how Tsume and everyone else feels right now. **


	15. Recovery and Breakthroughs

Do vote on my poll for ideas that you think are fiesable to occur by June 2014, and read my new HP story. I believe I have begun something new.

Also, I am suffering from a bit of writers block here.

Faves 161

Alerts 166

C2's 9

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Leaf; No one anyone cares about dies. And hire other ninja? That, my friend, is just asking for trouble. Even their allies would probably let something out if their nation was that divided. And the security around him is so tough it would take ninja with Lightning god techniques, like Minato, though Konan probably could via her paper form.

Raw: Haruno was not a religious leader

61394: Its what I call practicality. If you believe in the idea that children need both gender parents to function properly (Erm, single parents?), it follows the idea that a limited parenting is better than none. If you believe that anyone who wants to can raise kids as long as they aren't Jack the Ripper or Richard Nixon, its the idea (my personal) that gay adoption is the best way to deal with the foster care overload system. As to Bee, recall those little portals Kushina created when she broke reality?

Brown Phantom: It is part of the idea.

Vagabond: Your have to see

ShadowBlood: I'm glad the idea of what she was meant to be.

Dark; You won't find out...for a while

Niemend: when did you hear that? Also, ever here of the idea, trying to fail? If you ask me, canon Shikamaru did this.

Now, with that viewpoint on canon Shikamaru stated...

Recap

_"Your daughter is now being looked at like people look at Naruto"_

_"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I SACRIFICED MY DAUGHTER TO SAVE THE VILLAGE FROM THAT...DEMON!"_

_"You disgust me. Your acting like a reversed, inverted, twisted Minato...a mockery of him. Because of you, your daughter will be treated like the very person you aimed to kill...I'm told that's called Irony. As such, I felt only one family could really treat her right, and understand her situation"_

_"NO! YOU DID NOT! YOU...YOU BASTARD!"_

_..._

_"Why is everyone glaring at me like that...what did I do wrong?" Sakura asked, tears in her eyes as everyone around her seemed to be glaring at her like she was a plague._

_Kushina put a gentle hand on her shoulder "Its not what you did...its what others did. Now...I'm going to take you home"_

End Recap

_3 months later, Hokage's office_

"You've executed 20 non Ninja, and have imprisoned three times as many. The lives of all normal people are under my domain! You've overstepped your limits, Sarutobi" The shadowed face of the Daimyo said darkly over a T.V Monitor, from where he could see the scowling face of the Hokage.

He had the monitor set up specifically because he was too paranoid to let a ninja within a mile his palace or put himself five miles within ninja domain.

He had enough security around himself so their were very few ninja who could get at him. One died near a decade ago to a oversized Fennac after all.

"The civilians executed attacked my academy with a virus so deadly that the ninja world rendered it extinct, and the war crime of unleashing it on an enemy is one of the very few rules no ninja force has ever broke. Ninja from every village, even Konoha, have burnt down buildings, raped victims, assassinated politicians, given false surrenders and executed prisoners of war. I've done all of these things, bar the rape. I admit I am no saint, but a civilian whose heart was consumed by hate broke one of the most sacred rules, on her village at that. Her own daughter was infected specifically by her as the source of it. You say that I have killed 20 and imprisoned 60? Well, that woman killed 52 ninja and civilians, for that woman had her daughter walk to school, gravely ill through the streets with full knowledge of what she was carrying, and over 100 are still in the hospital recovering."

"Even so, her death should have been legalized by my courts"

"The court system takes forever...and I find lawyers annoying. I don't need legal shit because ninja legal systems differ from civilians. I would not have allowed her to walk because I didn't bother to tell her she could walk away after committing treason"

"Can a non ninja commit treason against a hidden village?"

"...Please stop while I still can believe you have average intelligence" The Hokage deadpanned as he took out a remote and pressed the power button.

"Don't you dare..." the screen went black as the Hokage sighed.

Days like this made him drink.

_Aburame Complex_

The domed structure: a green house themed structure crawling with lush plant life for the many insect pets and study subjects of the many Aburame, was currently playing host to a walking pair of father and son Aburame, who were in what could pass as a warm Aburame conversation.

"Shino..."

"Father..."

"Your fully recovered from your ailment?"

"I have, though most of my hive died of it. My queen's reproductive abilities have also declined by 13%"

"I shall take that into consideration when training you further. How long until your okay to return to the academy"

"According to the Hokage's official recommendation, a week"

"Then I shall give you the slower but more effective hive increasing medication. Until then, I have the oddest desire to do something...fatherly. Do you want to go out for ice cream?"

"...Yes"

_Some Aburame family time aside_

"Daddy...do I really have to stay away from Sakura like mom says...cough. She's the only friend who visits me"

Inoichi flinched as his daughter asked that...tough question. She was still in the final recovering phase of the illness, and while she could no longer transfer the illness, she was still weak.

As to why Sakura was the only visitor...most of her friends were dead or still in the Intensive Care Unit.

"Erm...well...its complicated. Your mother...is a rather superstitious person. She believes, that because Sakura was the first to get...sick..."

"Mommy thinks Sakura started the sickness? That's stupid!"

"...I'd prefer you don't call your mother stupid, but I can understand why you, my princess, would think that. So, you can here it from me that I won't tell your mother anything."

_Uzumaki home_

"Can you please teach me some jutsu Mommy!? Mommy Hitomi teaches Hinata about her eyes and Mommy Mikoto teaches Hiko...can't you teach me something!?" Naruto was jumping up and down, begging his mom to teach her something.

With so many people sick, and still in the process of decontaminating the academy, he had nothing to do.

"...Well I guess...what do you want to learn?"

"What about that missile thing!"

"...No"

"Ah, but growing explosives is SOOO COOL!"

"...What do you need missiles for, Naru-Kun? When I was your age, I was happy to learn how to walk on trees"

"But you already taught me that"

Kushina smirked, she had him now "What about walking on water?"

"Pervy Sage taught me that last year, when he took us to the beach after you went on that trip..."

Kushina blushed at that. When she was getting particularly, high strung, she had taken Mikoto and Hitomi on a trip to try and avoid problems. So, they had to leave a baby sitter...and Jiraiya was the only one available.

Kushina still had to ask one thing "Were the people on this beach...clothed"

"It was a beach, mom"

Shaking her head, she again questioned it "Were they in swimsuits, or were they naked"

"Most of them were"

Kushina blinked once, twice, then formed a hand seal "SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

A second Kushina formed beside the original.

"Okay Naru-kun, my clone will show you how to make clones of your own...while I go have a nice, long, painful discussion with the Pervy Sage"

_At the same time Kushina was teaching her son a signature jutsu and firing missiles at the Sannin of Toads, another realm_

"Where did that red haired ghost go..." Artemis questioned to herself as she looked over a glowing map.

Dozens of pins dotted the map, spitting out information about the linked worlds they had found so far.

Gaetland/ Southern Sweden: Portal to world of arrogant old semi immortal man named Brom. World divided due to evil empire and racism. Extensive search did not seem to show any sign of the ghost, but the worlds being did possess this power.

France/ Paris: The world found there seemed to be normal, set sometime in the early 20th century. No sign of any indication of super powered humans who could be the ghost

Northern Scotland: World appeared to have sub class of magical using humans, similar to Per Ankh. World suffering from elitism racism in sub class. Could be home of ghost based on the snake eyed being's form of immortality imitation.

Barrier Reef: Appeared to be some sort of normal world and in the present, but oddly enough the animals seemed to be able to talk. The humans there did not have the power to be related to be the reality breaking woman.

New York City/ Hell's Kitchen; World filled with various powered humans. World appeared to be on the verge of destroying itself. The world did have the power to create the ghost.

Philadelphia; World appeared to be in revolutionary times. No visible super powered structure which could have created the ghost.

Canada: World appeared similar to theirs. Gods appeared in present day, though they did not age well (She did not gray hair, Apollo was not out of shape and Hades did not sound like a helium consuming she chipmunk). World appeared to have lack of super powered beings due to that pantheon mastering the power to keep it in their pants.

Oregon/ Portland: Found world featured alien giant robots with the ability to transform into vehicles. Extreme violence seemed to result due to a robot civil war. Purple robots were apparently evil. Humans otherwise lacked the power that the ghost would have required.

Most of the other worlds didn't show any more promise. The ghost, according to Hades, had a certain, unique energy to her, a smell that he had managed to record due to being a well organized god.

A scene that vaguely smelt like both a powerful god, and a monster at the same time.

So far, nothing she had found was similar in those worlds.

"Mom" she turned her head around as her son appeared behind her, a hologram made of rainbows via the telecommunication function called Iris Messaging.

"Have you anything to report, Beowulf?" she questioned her son.

"I do. I've been to Cape Canaveral in Florida, around where the space shuttles are launched. I located a portal, and investigated it"

"Any sign of the ghost?"

"Sort of. The world through this portal...its far ahead of us. Flying cars, robots and energy swords are everywhere there. However, I did manage to pick up the scent of something close to what the ghost scent was, more monstrous though. Unfortunately, some metal life forms attacked, so I had to escape"

Artemis's eyes gleamed with determination, this could be their big break in stopping the worlds from merging, destroying each other, or the formation of more portals.

How long until dangerous things began to leak out of them. Like the Snake Man, the purple robots, or something from that world with the large green anger creature.

Diseases, misplaced technology...world fusion would only end in disaster.

It had to be stopped, and destroying the ghost was their only shop.

"Keep the portal available. I will send the hunters to you, and I will be with them"


	16. AN

Sorry about this, I am currently suffering from Naruto based writers block. I'm also suffering from lack of sleep and lack of time.

So, I would ask of you...I need Kushina girl four for my next chapter, and I need ideas.


	17. Exams and Expands part 1

These last few days have been stress incarnate, so my updating has been slowed in addition. But, have to start up sometime. So its a little small and a building chapter, but it needs to be written.

And holy shit. The stuff going on in the manga right now is massive. The Hokage's have been revived by Orochimaru, Shikaku, Inoichi and Neji are dead. Let alone Bleach's little war...manga is trying its best to stay epic in 2013.

Skipping reviews today, with some intense thoughts

A few years later, Naruto age 11...graduation imminent...

Danger...looming very close

Recap

_A soundly sleeping Sasuke was fast asleep, earplugs masking the sound of his family being destroyed._

_Thus, the steps of the crippled man approaching him was not heard...not until he picked him up and vanished._

_..._

_"...You eat far too much steak, your a war mongering coward, your..."_

_"SILENCE YOU BASTARD CHILD! YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT MINE!"_

_"No one's else's face looks like my cheek bones are overcompensating for something. You make me look like a dehydrated creeper. "_

_"HOW DARE YOU! I HAVE NEVER...HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE** ME** OF CHEATING ON YOU...WHO HAD A DAUGHTER WITH A STRIPPER AND LEFT HER IN AN ORPHANGE" Mother and Son said at once_

_"I have no daughter, and you hang around with those dyk..."_

_Now Mikoto was oh so ready to punch the bastard, but Itachi stopped her, and deciding he was done, body flickered up the stairs._

_"COME BACK HERE BOY, AS CLAN HEAD..."_

_Fugaku was silenced by Itachi doing something very...un Itachi._

_"SASUKE!?"_

_His brother was gone._

end recap

_Somewhere in the maze of worlds...and speaking of little wars_

During their long search for the scent of the ghost, the hunt had traveled across many worlds.

Their search in the world of such advanced science that robots walked the worlds of humans and more, was halted when a man named Vader took the throne, after killing some guy named Sidious who had attempted to kill his wife and his Padawan.

What a Padawan was, Beowulf didn't know, it sorted of sounded like a pet. Something called a 'Snips'

After a few close calls with getting hit with lightning, they had focused on finding pathways that bypassed his domain.

The hunt had mapped a complicated route through over a hundred worlds. From the world of Brom, to a world home to a criminal mastermind named Artemis (who was male, to his mother's utter annoyance) to worlds where the genders were at war, where two races of robots clashed, and where a poor smuck was sucked into a horrible fate by 'friends from the other side'

But on occasion, they did not like what they found, gruesome things that darkly hinted at the ghost's crimes

"Another ruined world"

Beowulf stood in the ruins of what was once a vintage looking Japanese city, with a core made much finer.

Hundreds of mostly black, though some white, robed warrior men and woman lay on the ground, dead of various wounds.

Fireballs, lightning blades, mysterious black fire that burnt for lengths unnatural.

This was in fact the fifth such destroyed world that Beowulf and the hunt had found.

The first world was a world of sparkling vampires. The second was a world of evil fruit. The third was a world of a pale god slaying warrior. The fourth a world of humanoid cats.

This fifth world, a world of spirit warriors with mighty, but now broken swords.

"Help...me"

Beowulf picked up the faint whisper of a gravely injured woman, and rushed towards the sound. Passing the dead body of a eye patched, scarred warrior, a white haired boy, an ancient old man and a once motherly looking dark haired woman, he found the surviving woman.

She was tall and curvaceous, with long orange hair. She sort of had a Aphrodite like feel to her, though the large burn wounds covering her took away from the beauty.

"Who did this..." Beowulf said darkly, as the woman weakly spoke, the first alive witness they had found.

"There...were two...they...called the...mselves U...Uchiha..." the woman's head slouched over as Beowulf reached for his communicator.

"Hunters, we have a live one! She's badly hurt though. Return to the city center at once!"

Meanwhile, watching from above were two figures in cloaks. Both were wearing masks, the taller one wore a orange one with a single red visible eye, dressed in black robes with purple clouds covering them.

The other was a boy in similar robes, who was on the verge of puberty. A purple mask with two visible eye sockets for his two eyes of the same sort.

"So Sasuke, how much of a challenge were the Shinigami of this world?" The elder asked of Mikoto's missing son.

"A challenge. To take over our world, I feel as though I need more experience. The one with the petal sword was particularly annoying to kill. Though I had to take down most of their leadership with "

That one Shinigami was tougher than his first test subjects, the Volturi.

Let alone some of the others.

"Indeed. Ever since I realized that the Akatsuki is a fools errand for a fool like Nagato, I feel its best to allow him to distract our world while I see to it that you are the worthy successor to the Uchiha's power. You slew the ruling council of vampires with your bare hands, slaughtered 100 devil fruit eaters, killed the slayer of a Pantheon (Which was the reason they weren't after Beowulf. If they could slay Kratos, to the masked Uchiha fighting a demigod of a lesser bloodline would be a insult to themselves), took down the Thundercats and Mum-Ra together and have destroyed the entire Shinigami corps" bar a cat and a guy with a hat, who were currently in exile, and a little she shinigami who had just went to Karakura town and had just met a orange haired teen.

"But, you have one more place to prove yourself worthy of restoring the Uchiha...you must slay a Super Saiyan in one on one combat"

"A super..."

"Some of the most powerful beings I have witnessed in these linked worlds. Come Sasuke, why linger in this place of death longer than we have to. You have a one man army to prepare to kill"

_Mild overpowered Uchiha's aside...Konoha_

"Will they just get over it! It is not my fault that my birth mother was an insane bitch!"

"Hey, at least you have an idea why they hate you. Somehow I don't think having immense power sealed in you should create this much loathing"

"I...I'm sure that...that Mom Kushina has a...a reason for not...not saying. You were fi...five when you asked"

"Please stop stuttering Hiko. It doesn't become you. Your beautiful and will only get more so with confidence"

Sakura, Naruto, Hiko and Hinata were heading to what they sincerely hoped would be their final day at the academy. They were dressed in versions of the canon outfits of part 1 Sakrua, Naruto, Sasuke and Hinata, respectively.

Sakura's red dress was not a dress any longer, but a similarly patterned red shirt, which no longer had sleeves and instead of biker shots, had black tights.

Naruto still had his orange jumpsuit from Luna Lovegood's realm of fun, in shape anyway. The color this time around, was a more tolerable darkish gray coloring, which gave off less of a 'people will only sell me kill me orange' vibe or a 'I don't give the Kyuubi's furry ass about people's view on me' vibe.

Hiko was dressed like Sasuke might have had Sasuke not been kidnapped and Itachi had gone through with killing off most of his relations. However, her outfit did not have an overcompensation of fan symbols, was long sleeved with a black T shirt under it, and a mesh shirt under that, with long white pants.

While Hiko's dress was a overclothed form of Sasuke's dress, Hinata's dress was less strict. Her jacket was tied around her waist, making the fact that she was a very well developed girl obvious. Her hair was also longer than it would have been.

They, and their canon looking classmates Kiba, Shino, Shikimaru, Choji and Ino, who was still Sakura's friend though it had to be hidden from her mother, along with a dozen or two no name chumps who no one really cared for or expected to do anything big at the academy.

Today was the day. Today was the day that they would find out if they were worthy of the title shinobi.

_Parent stuff_

As Naruto and company began to tackle the deadly enemy to all called the multiple choice question, it was finally time.

Due to Sakura being adopted into the family, and all the legal crap they came with it, along with helping the poor girl out with the transition, Kushina's libido had been put aside to focus on the poor girl.

So, Kushina's libido did not exceed the capabilities of Hitomi and Hikoto as soon as expected...however that point had now been reached.

For the children's safety, they had to expand.

And so, while the kids did anything but play, they were at a local joint called The Perfect Hourglass, a local hangout for Konoha's Kunoichi, and well regarded with its lesbian community.

For where the Ina-Shika-Cho trio went to avoid their wives, see The Leaf's Dew, a more rough hangout where men boasted about their skills and complained about their wives.

The shade wearing Kushina, the nervous Hitomi and the resolved Mikoto, genjutsued to be somewhat unnoticed, were looking around the various female inhabitants at the bar, debating who was the right one.

A woman with good skills, a firm but nice psyche, attractive in a physical and behavioral way, determined and loyal was a bit much to ask for, considering that Kushina did not know how to use the bonds to control.

There were some examples up and about in the bar, after all. They could hear several conversations going on within.

"Oh come on Nai-chan. Have some fun!"

"Define fun, Anko. I don't hump anything that moves"

"Neither do I, I just flirt."

"Then explain the moaning I heard last night?"

..

"Mom, really. I don't need help find a date"

"You sure, your a pretty girl yet you've never gotten a date"

"Maybe its because of that rumor..."

"I didn't kill your father, or Kiba's father. Whoever started that god damn rumor is going to die"

But, who should be their target

_Meanwhile_

Mizuki's apartment was filled with various images that suggested he was not quite mentally sane. The various fox dolls whose heads were violently ripped off, images of Naruto that were covered in kunai and darts and his subscriptions to 'Fox Hunts with Hounds' quarterly and 'Sexy Rhino' seasonal all showed the guy could really use a shrink.

Particularly the fact the guy had a calender with today's date circled repeatably, darkly and various comments about killing on this day.

**So, whose joining the family? Find out...next time**


	18. Exams and Expands part 2

Nasty Nemo! To you I give double N's! Your making my connection horrible, and I had to shovel a path through two feet of snow. TWO FEET! If it wasn't for my larger dog playing snow breaker, I would have had a drowned dog! Then one of my cats had to break his tooth too...well lets just say I have had my fill of snow. And it does not help me write. The power is my one blessing now a days.

So, I'll work on developing the test a bit, and in all moving towards this storyline's conclusion.

61394: It is indeed Obito. Had it been prior to that reveal, it would have instead been Madara

Leaf; Your see. I also did mention that some were ambushed.

Former Naruhina guy Shadowblogger: You missed God of War, a rather violent video game series I have heard of but don't play it. I live with a nine year old girl...if she got her hands on those games I think it would be bad.

Yuri-Hime: I needed to think of some new way of bashing characters. I find the idea of bashing characters by making them gay, and pedophilia should have been screened for in the ninja system (Particularly with how this Hiruzen is far more proactive here). So I felt like doing something out of the ordinary here.

Wrings: I feel as though I try to improve my flaws. I did have a another name on FF a time ago. Believe me, my writing has greatly improved since.

Lydia: I was just trying to avoid a Sasuke, ego equals Power Cubed idea. I have an explanation prepared, however. Though there is also the raised by Madara-Obito thing.

Recap

_Sakura, Naruto, Hiko and Hinata were heading to what they sincerely hoped would be their final day at the academy. They were dressed in versions of the canon outfits of part 1 Sakrua, Naruto, Sasuke and Hinata, respectively._

_Sakura's red dress was not a dress any longer, but a similarly patterned red shirt, which no longer had sleeves and instead of biker shots, had black tights._

_Naruto still had his orange jumpsuit from Luna Lovegood's realm of fun, in shape anyway. The color this time around, was a more tolerable darkish gray coloring, which gave off less of a 'people will only sell me kill me orange' vibe or a 'I don't give the Kyuubi's furry ass about people's view on me' vibe._

_Hiko was dressed like Sasuke might have had Sasuke not been kidnapped and Itachi had gone through with killing off most of his relations. However, her outfit did not have an overcompensation of fan symbols, was long sleeved with a black T shirt under it, and a mesh shirt under that, with long white pants._

_While Hiko's dress was a overclothed form of Sasuke's dress, Hinata's dress was less strict. Her jacket was tied around her waist, making the fact that she was a very well developed girl obvious. Her hair was also longer than it would have been._

_They, and their canon looking classmates Kiba, Shino, Shikimaru, Choji and Ino, who was still Sakura's friend though it had to be hidden from her mother, along with a dozen or two no name chumps who no one really cared for or expected to do anything big at the academy._

_Today was the day. Today was the day that they would find out if they were worthy of the title shinobi._

End Recap

_The final test and a retcon_

Question 18 on the exam was 'Why do the Ninja of the Five Great Nation tend to have their elemental affiliation the same as their nations name'

Naruto was not particularly fond of book studying, but this one was actually pretty easy. It just stuck with him really. Funny how some things just do.

The answer was that chakra was very sensitive to ones environment and reacted to the natural threats of the land. For example, the people of the Land of Fire, who had a tropical climate, had Fire natured chakra which made their skin less sensitive against sunburns and took lengthier periods of exposure to suffer from sun stroke and other heat based ailments. The minute level of chakra in everyone thus gave the entire region a inherent heat resistance.

Another example was the Land of Earth, where the chakra in everyone made every person more physically endurable, better at gripping onto rocks and having tougher feet and hands.

Water walking was a chakra exercise that played with this: it was training ones chakra to naturally respond to water filled environments and mimic the natural behavior of chakra users who grew up in water rich areas like the Land of Water, though it wasn't quite as permanent as someone who was born in woman

In theory, if one went to a place with no chakra, a person's abilities could be enhanced with powers that no one had ever seen while at that location...but that was just theories in fiction novels.

Now, how to put it in essay format?

_Meanwhile, an hour in the kunoichi bar later_

In some timelines, the character of Suzume was a teacher for flower pressing and various kunoichi work at the Ninja academy.

On rare occasions she was Anko's antithesis.

But here...she was just the Perfect Hourglass's janitor, who was responsible for cleaning up after the drunken kunoichi caused minor levels of destruction, or clean the bed sheets in the 'please don't hog our bathrooms' suites.

She was in fact going to check out suite number 5...when she heard the very loud moans and ominous banging noises.

...Maybe later.

_Back to the Academy_

"Times up. Pencils down"

"My head"

"Need...water"

"Troublesome"

"Okay, I know that tests of knowledge might not seem all that necessary for Shinobi, but Ninja need the ability to study their targets and retain information. It also keeps the Department of Education from harassing us...but the politics aside, time for the second test...target practice"

_A walk down the hallway of incredibly remarkable in dullness hallway later_

"Okay class, there are five targets and five kunai each. Each bullseye is worth fifty points, with every ring further out being worth ten points less. As you are aware, the test is of a total of 900 possible points. If you obtain 675 points or more, you become a ninja. This round is worth 250 points. Totally missing these targets, or only getting 20 points or less on them..well I have applications for a local hotel's bellhop service for those people" The essay was worth 100, the multiple question test before it was worth another 100, the stealth portion was worth 200 and the later jutsu section was worth 250.

Shino Aburame was the first up, taking the five pre prepared Kunai from Iruka (It was a fail safe to avoid people bringing higher quality, specially waited kunai, which were unfair for the other students, impractical for battle and overly expensive, or in Naruto's case originally, and Sakura's now, a protection from any attempt at sabotage)

Taking each kunai in tern, he took concentrated aim and fired.

40, 50, 40, 50 and 50. 230 points total. With an unseen grin, he walked away.

Choji Akamichi, having had the customary pre test Akamichi 4 course pancake feast, was somewhat filled. So his scores were 40, 40, 40, 30 and 40. He obtained a 170.

Sakura Haruno , even with the hatred that people aimed at her, and her lack of an ability to obtain a library card, was a genius a level or two behind the Nara's. However, she managed to do the geometry in her head, making four bullseyes for a 50 and a 40, creating a near perfect score of a 240.

The last one to have a perfect score, just better than what Sakura had obtained, was a young girl named Tenten.

Hinata Hyuga was up next. With her lack of thick clothing, her reflex's were better than normal. Due to this, her skills were better, with a 50, three scores of 40 and a 30, obtaining a 200.

Kiba Inuzuka, as he was a cocky and overegotistical mutt, got a trio of 50's to start with, but due to his ego the next two were 20's. As he sulked away with his 190, some fangirls got a fifth his score.

Shikamaru Nara would normally have just done well enough to pass, but his mother had gotten on him about 'skating'. She implied that failure to get at least a 800 he'd have to do all his father's work for a month.

He could not take a risk of that, and so actually bothered to score bullseyes on the 1st, 4th and 5th targets, while the 2nd and 3rd came out as 40's, giving him 230.

Hiko Uchiha could not use her Sharingan to pass this one, so with some nervousness she launched her kunai.

40, 30, 40, 40, 30.

For a total score of 180 as she blushed in shame, despite being ranked the third best of the girls who had gone so far.

Naruto Uzumaki gave Hiko a strong smile, as he took up his provided kunai. He concentrated and threw each knife in order.

50

50

40

40

40

Total score...220.

"HA YA! BELIEVE IT!..." He covered his mouth and blushed. He really wished they had medication for that.

Ino Yamanaka suffered from a even later name than Naruto. In her impatience, she threw one of her kunai badly, getting 20. Blushing, she came back with 40, 40, 50 and 40. For a final grade of 190.

Iruka nodded as he tallied the scores; each of their written tests were tied to his center scorecard on his clip board. In doing so, he could know who to send home.

So far, 450 points, or half the total score, had been given out.

Shino Aburame had 90 MC 95 E and 230 on Kunai for 425 of the total points

Choij Akamichi had 70 MC, 70 E and 170 for 320 total points.

Sakura Haruno had 100 MC 90 E and 240 on kunai, for 430 of the total points

Hinata Hyuga had 80 MC 80 E and 200 on kunai to give herself 360 in total

Kiba Inuzuka had 50 MC 70 E and 190 kunai for 310 total out of 450

Shikamaru Nara had 100 MC, 100 E and 230 on kunai for 430 total

Hiko Uchiha had 80 MC, 90 E and 180 kunai for 350 total.

Naruto Uzumaki was a...unique mind. His essay answers were a bit off for the grading seals, but they eventually gave him an 77 E. When added to his 70 MC and 220 Kunai, that was 367 total

Ino Yamanaka had 90 MC, 100 E and 190 for kunai giving herself 380 in total.

Over all, they were the top of the class. They would only get better with the practical set...

The rest...well 9 students were a good crop, all things considered.

_Meanwhile, outside the academy_

So far, the various expected bomb threats, bomb attacks, riots and other protests against Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno had not come.

The ANBU were almost getting bored. And they were given training in boredom coping by watching paint dry, then give a detailed report on how it happened.

"...Bet you I can pin that squirrel to the tree without killing it" one ANBU in a hawk mask finally said.

"Why would you do that. The Uchiha Squirrel species is an endangered species after 95% percent of them were killed during the Fox attack" a ANBU In a trout mask pointed out. The Uchiha squirrel, named for its odd red tinted eyes and very dominant melanistic pigments, was once found all over the Land of Fire, but superstitious people believed them to be demonic and killed them on sight.

However, Madara Uchiha's grandfather believed them to be a sign of the Uchiha's bounty and hardiness, and so captured all of the remaining squirrels and bred them. He even developed a jutsu to see through their eyes and inhabit their souls.

The Uchiha, after founding Konoha, released them into the area, believing it to be a sin to hold your ancestor in a cage. That, and to, by their mythology, spy on the Senju.

"Endangered my ass. There are more of those things than there are sex scenes in Icha Icha"

"That's an exaggeration, there are far more sex scenes..." the ANBU in the trout mask paused as he saw a individual approach the academy, before he untensed.

"Its a teacher. Mizuki if I recall correctly"

"So, we don't stop him?"

"No we don't. Now, stop plotting to kill endangered animals"

"What about turning a Senju Spruce into some wooden shoes?"

"...How many times were you under that torture genjutsu again?"

Once he was out of visual range for the ANBU guards, made visible in the 'visibly intimidate the likely civilian mob' tactic, he let out his nasty grin.


	19. Exams and Expands part 3

Faves 167

Alerts 174

C2's 9

The Niemand: I have never hallucinated outside of lack of sleep. I came up with that on my healthy mind. As for the team...do wait and see

Shadowblogger: The whole, alternate universe concept gives me free reign. The changes in the timeline, such as having Kushina stay alive, the Hyuga get Uchiha'd and Itachi never get banished, somehow caused the mission in question that would have left him with a mark on his record to never occur. Also, the delay was annoying. It left my numbers in shambles..

Leaf Ranger: As I said, chakra is sensitive to the environment is in. In waterside areas, its far more suited to water walking, and chakra not normally used to water adapts to it, but not permanetly. Thus, when a Ninja is in the Bleach world, it adapts to better equal the powers there. Chakra gains Reishin characteristics and power levels, available to that ninja only while there, effectively giving Sasuke temporary levels of Shinigami superpowers. While this was my idea to make Chakra and Reishin equal, it does not seem to have worked.

Yuri: they are my Deux Ex Machina, thus I keep them in reserve

spike: Your see this chapter, your see

Now, to the test

_Stealth testing, about two hours later_

"...Ow..." Ino rubbed her arm in pain as she crawled out of the stealth portion of the exam, coated in paintballs as a chuckling Mizuki held onto the gun that had fired them.

For the stealth test, they were required to go from a starting point in the academy's maze to its end, while avoiding Mizuki, who would attempt to hit them with paintballs. Each paintball they were hit with cost them 20 points of stealths potential 200.

Ino had been tagged twice, thus with 160 total points.

"And how in the world did you manage to avoid being tagged..." she demanded of Naruto, who chuckled at his paintless coat.

"'Cause I got mad skills!"

From the last three tests...

Shino Aburame had 425 of the total points. He managed to avoid tagging due to the odd tendency of people to not notice Aburame, for a total score of 625.

Choij Akamichi had 320 total points. Because of his size, he was tagged three times, adding 140 points for 460 total.

Sakura Haruno had 430 of the total points. She was only hit once, just as she was nearly out. Mizuki could have disqualified that one...but he didn't and she walked away with 610 points.

Hinata Hyuga had 360 in total. Her Byukugan aided her in avoiding Mizuki and gave her 560 in total

Kiba Inuzuka had 310 total in total before this. Tagged once, Kiba gained 180 points for 490 in total.

Shikamaru Nara had 430 total, and found it troublesome to due his own laundry, and his mother used too much starch. So he put his mind into avoiding Mizuki, giving him 630 points.

Hiko Uchiha had 350 from earlier, and was tagged once. The 180 extra points gave her 530 total.

Naruto Uzumaki had 367, but with his perfect score got 200 more, giving him 567 points.

Ino Yamanaka had 380 from the last test in total. Adding her 160 from this round, Ino had 540 points.

With 675 in total needed and 250 points left, the only ones in danger of failing now were Kiba and Choji. At this point, it would be a shock if Shino or Shikamaru failed.

He had already failed 30% of the class, and about a third of the remainder were behind Choji in points and couldn't afford to miss any of the jutsu, much like the Naruto of canon.

But this Naruto could fail at the academy clone trick and still pass.

_The Perfect Hourglass_

"...I can finally think again" Kushina stood up, naked as the day as she was born, and stretched, the Asura's path ability to grow a metallic strap on that only blew out cum briefly visible as the large organic metal strap on dissolved away.

She hadn't felt this...focused since Sakura was brought into their lives. Immense levels of sexual oppression were mentally held on by her in order to avoid stressing the poor girl out more than she already was.

But now that Sakura was older, in Kushina's own words it was 'time to get my fucking reward', literally.

"I think you left them in a coma" Mikoto mused, a little dizzy after Kushina's hours of multiple partner stress release

Yes, them...

The out cold forms of Anko Mitarashi, Kurenai Yuhi, Tsume Inuzuka and Hana Inuzuka lay on the bed,

"I think you broke them in...I just hope they're alive" Hitomi was too exhausted to stutter.

"Okay...now that I can think about non carnal things...how do we explain this to our kids?"

Hitomi and Mikoto exchanged looks.

"What...Hito-chan? Miko-Chan? Your supposed to be the smart ones...or at least the ones with that thing called common sense, or a lack of extreme lust clouding your minds!?"

"...I guess they don't have to move in" Hitomi frowned "Once they are Genin, they should be kept busy enough they could come over as needed. And they are old enough not to need to come into our bed when they are scared, so they should never know if we sneak them in"

"Okay I guess...erm do I count as Kiba's other mother now?" Kushina thought after a moment.

"..Perhaps we should have stuck to the non mothers" Mikoto mused.

"...Hours of fun, create hours of problems" Kushina mused darkly.

_Problems aside, Konoha Academy of Ninja Arts_

"Okay class. For all of you who have made it this far, this is the final portion of the exam. Only 250 points remain in your test, and for many of you you need as many of them as you can get. Regardless if you are 250 points away from your goal or 10, I want all of you to do the best you can. For those of you who pass the exam, please see my assistant for this and the previous portion of the exam, Mizuki, for your Hiate headband, marking you as official leaf ninja!"

The sight of the coveted headband set a few, such as Naruto, drooling in desire.

"Now, lets begin. In this portion of the exam, you will have to show your abilities in the following jutsu: the Henge, the Substitution, the Clone Justu as taught at the academy, and a jutsu or technique learned on your own. The first three are worth 55 points, while the last one is worth 30 points"

The test began.

Shino Aburame had 625 points after the previous exams. He performed the Henge successfully, turning into Ibiki the torture expert flawlessly. His substitute jutsu worked flawlessly, replacing himself with a nearby table. He created a set clone who looked and acted the same as himself (Which, due to him being an Aburame, could be said much the same as a moderately advanced Artificial Intelligence). For his home project, Shino demonstrated the bug clone, by dissolving in front of them, causing a fangirl to faint and disqualify herself.

When the real Shino appeared behind Mizuki, asking about his Hiate, he was told he got full marks and had a total of 875 points. He obtained his Hiate as soon as Mizuki stopped swearing.

Choij Akamichi had 460 total points. While he successfully henged into Shikamaru, and substituted with a jerk kid who was eating a bag of chips, (Said Choji promptly taking a handful), his clones were a mixed bag. One came out perfect, the other somehow ended up blond, older, fatter and wore a white T shirt with a green leaf in the middle. After Iruka made this strange clone go away with a kunai through its very big gut, Choji demonstrated his clan's human boulder technique to a T

Now Iruka had a scale for point deductions on each of the jutsu. With the clone technique, if you didn't create any, that was -55. If you created a pair who looked dead, that was -45. If you created one good one and one dead one, that was -30. Only a single clone was -25. If you somehow created a clone who had a different look and appearance, that was -15.

So Choji ended up with 675 on the dot. When he was told he just passed, Chojo began crying tears of relief and momentarily forgot to get his hiate.

Sakura Haruno had 610 points to start off with. She began by henging herself into Kushina's appearance (the cat calls from a boy in the class resulting in Naruto kicking the guy in the shin), then substituted with the kid next to Ino whose name is utterly unimportant. After hi fiving Ino and coming back, she created three fine clones and ended by body flickering up onto the ceiling and sticking to the roof with her chakra control.

"We don't give out extra credit Sakura...but full points none the less. Your score is 860, Genin Sakura"

Sakura jumped down from the roof, hugged Iruka and promptly got her Hiate.

Hinata Hyuga had 560 in total. She began by henging into her own mother (Who also got cat calls from the same kid who was beginning to get a nasty bruise on his shin). After this, she substituted with Naruto, kicked the boy herself, and came back to clone herself twice. To end her run, she formed a little net of chakra around her, an experimental jutsu her mother was working on called the 64 palms guard. (As there were no stuck up Hyuga left, the over named titles were not required)

"I don't know, that's not a jutsu I'm familiar with...does it count?" Mizuki asked darkly as Iruka gave him a look.

"Even if she doesn't earn those thirty points, Hinata Hyuga still has 790 points, quite enough to pass" Hinata grinned as she took her headband from the annoyed Mizuki.

Kiba Inuzuka had 490 in total. First he henged himself into his mother, that annoying kid gave another cat call. Then he substituted with Naruto, had Akamaru bite him in the shin (Said kid promptly passed out), and created a clone of himself. Finally, he activated the Man Beast jutsu of his clan, becoming animal like.

With his 230 points, Kiba had 720 points and was officially a ninja. Kiba promptly howled in pride, before throwing something into the air while yelling BOYAH!

The pencil he picked up, however, was anti climatic in that regard.

Shikamaru Nara had 630 points. Yawning, he henged into The Hokage. Then he substituted with Choji, who was closest. After walking back up front, he created two clones, who both looked equally bored.

For his own trick, he cast his shadow out to Mizuki, who tensed up and picked up a hiate and carried it over to Shikamaru.

"I do believe this is mine..."

"You don't know that punk"

"While I find the use of jutsu on teachers in bad taste...you passed this exam perfectly. With your score of 880 points, your the smartest person currently here. You've earned your rank with honor, Rookie of the Year"

"NOOOOO! TROUBLESOME!"

Hiko Uchiha went up while Shikamaru cried. With 530 total, she began by henging herself into Mikoto, who as the asshole from earlier was currently out, got no whistles. She followed by substituting with Hinata, and created two clones. Finally, she ran her hand through a few hand seals.

Mizuki was ready to scoff about genin being unable to do that...but the fireball that Hiko spat out somehow disproved him.

It did, however, set off the ninja grade sprinklers.

A soaking wet Iruka gave the now blushing girl a look "I really should have done this outside. But, thankfully my paperwork is water proof. You, Hiko Uchiha, pass this exam with 780 total points"

Hiko took her Hiate and blushed.

Naruto Uzumaki had 567 points. Utterly determined to pass, he went through the first two jutsu successfully. The first jutsu, henging into Jiraiya, was perfect, as was his substituting with Iruka. Naruto, like Kiba before him, only made one clone.

Well, academy clone that is.

"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

The hundred Naruto clones that filled the classroom was the stuff of some civilian nightmares, and with an annoyed look Mizuki yelled out.

"OVERCOMPENSATING WITH SHADOWCLONES FAILS TO MAKE UP THOSE LOST TWENTY POINTS..."

"But, you still pass with 797 points, Genin Naruto Uzumaki!"

"YEAH! BELEIVE IT!" every Naruto yelled out at once.

"Now get rid of them!"

After the Crisis of Infinite Narutos was dealt with, Ino Yamanaka went up with her 540 points. She started by henging into Sakura, who substituted with the real Sakura (which Iruka caught). Ino then made three clones of herself, and finished by collapsing after making a hand seal.

Iruka then stiffened and stated "I hereby pass Ino Yamanaka, the best looking student I ever had..." he checked his chart "with a perfect score of 250 here added to her total score of 790!"

Iruka then blinked in confusion as Ino stirred. "Er, well that was awkward, but true."

As Ino got her Hiate from Mizuki the grouch, a quartet was making a fateful choice.

"Let's put them on all at once!" Sakura said with some hesitation and enthusiasm "Four best friends, official ninja's of the Leaf at once"

"That sound's great Sakura!" Hinata grinned as each of them held their headbands up to their foreheads.

"One...Two...THREE!"

Each of them tied on their new symbols at the same time, just as chakra flared up from them.

At that moment, the four of them vanished. Iruka and everyone else was alarmed.

"What the hell just happened, Mizuki go alert the ANBU..."

At that moment, the Pencil that Kiba had thrown up in the air in celebration of his passing fell and hit Mizuki in he eye...and caused him to burst into smoke.


	20. Exams and Expands part 4

The chapter was delayed because of some work I had over Friday and the weekend.

Faves 173

Alerts 176

C2's 9

Review Replies

Yurihime: I had no reason not to do something. I wasn't just going to have Mizuki play his game again

Shadowblogger: I don't particularly find the idea of large gender disparity in relations. The idea of Naruto-Anko, for example, fails for that particular reason. Last Vampiress had gender change to get around it. And no, Mizuki is not dead.

Leaf: I felt like doing something different. As to the whole Shinigami thing, let is be said that their power levels were deduced when compared to canon. The Shinigami were no where near as powerful as they would be normally.

Wings: I mourn for him to. If only Steve Irwin could have met Lolong. Just imagine it.

Spike: It was hidden in the Hiate's to react to their specific chakras when they all in contact. The only way it could have failed was for one of them to fail.

Niemand: I'll have to see

61394: And the question gives me time to think

Oh, and a poll is up. In Reads the Multiverse, a HP title, a short story will pop up featuring a Keyblade corps made up of second tiers. See, I once tried to read the stories by a fellow named KRSPACET...I wouldn't.

However, his ideas of a Hero League were interesting, though I feel as though, while his attempts at a Kingdom Hearts style world with the many stories wasn't executed right. Perhaps I could. And one thing I plan to change is who will have the keyblade. His keyblades were in the hands of several characters including Seras Victoria, Aelita Stones/Hopper/Schaeffer/, Eragon Shadeslayer, Aang, Sari Sumdac, Ahsoka Tano, Ashitaka and Jayfeather. While I don't particularly like some of them, some are just too powerful to have them. And others might be better as Princesses of Heart or something else entirely. In this story, they shall be in the hands of lesser ones, like Ron Weasely.

Since you probably aren't Harry Potter fans, or perhaps even Kingdom Hearts Game, what you'd care about is the Naruto character with the blade. Your choices: Rock Lee, Kiba or Konohamaru. Oh, and vote for two other characters from other franchises while your at it.

But, enough that

Recap

_As Ino got her Hiate from Mizuki the grouch, a quartet was making a fateful choice._

_"Let's put them on all at once!" Sakura said with some hesitation and enthusiasm "Four best friends, official ninja's of the Leaf at once"_

_"That sound's great Sakura!" Hinata grinned as each of them held their headbands up to their foreheads._

_"One...Two...THREE!"_

_Each of them tied on their new symbols at the same time, just as chakra flared up from them._

_At that moment, the four of them vanished. Iruka and everyone else was alarmed._

_"What the hell just happened, Mizuki go alert the ANBU..."_

_At that moment, the Pencil that Kiba had thro_wn up in the air in celebration of his passing fell and hit Mizuki in he eye...and caused him to burst into smoke.

End Recap

_In the maze of the linked worlds_

Normally, the worlds of the multiverse hold certain things ever constant.

Naruto would be a Jinchuriki.

Anakin would have a minor flip out shortly before his date with the lava of Mustafar

Ron Weasley would be poor and have many siblings.

But, on occasion worlds would have greatly different features, and many of these worlds were among the ones Kushina had dragged into a imperfect fusion with the multiple portal thing.

The Harry Potter world has Luna as the devil.

Anakin's minor flip out skipped over the killing of his wife, but instead killed ol Palpy

And in another case

Artemis, who had just realized the portal they had found in the world of the space travelers was the same portal they had found in Costa Rica.

The Prehistoric Zoo on the island Isla Nublar

"You know, I've complained for ages that I never got to meet Jesus. Yet you keep complaining about all these prehistoric creatures that you've never gotten to hunt" Beowulf complained as his godly mother looked over the various large reptiles

"Believe me, the guy was charismatic, but he talked too much" His non godly mother quipped as she also gave her partner a look "Lady Artemis, you will not abduct one of these things. Somehow I think they could be somewhat dangerous"

The fact that they were passing through the 'Velociraptor Valley' had nothing to do with that rather sarcastic comment.

"I know" the all powerful goddess complained "I'd rather make my own. They made them somehow"

"Mom...save the mad scientist routine for after the Ghost is found" Beowulf begged.

"But when that happens, the worlds should no longer be linked. So I have to get it as soon as possisble"

"...I am so going to regret this. I'm going to end up eaten by warm blooded reptilian killers"

_Sarcasm aside from Hammond's rare successful venture at Jurassic Park and his theme park five times more successful that DisneyWorld, the main world that you guys care about. _

Naruto blinked in confusion. He had just put on his Hiate with his best friends slash house mates, and found himself, with Hinata, Hiko and Sakura, trapped in a cage.

A large, metal cage like one would use to hold a rather large Jellyfish, but without any sort of lock or even a door.

The cage had been built specifically for just them being abducted.

"What the..." Naruto yelled as he gripped the cage and began to shake it, causing its entire wall to shake. "HEY! LET US OUT OF HERE!"

"Naruto...why do you think that would accomplish anything other than act like a monkey?" Sakura said dryly as Hiko blushed and Hinata shrugged.

"Look Sakura, it was a decent idea. The structure might have showed sign of weakness where full bodily force could have broken it through" Hinata commented as it did reveal the third bar left of center on the left wall was loose.

"And in fact, it did" Hinata noted the bar with a frown as chakra began to pulse into her hand.

"The space between the bars is just large enough that someone very thin could get through it" Hinata pointed out as her Byukugan flared.

"Hey, are you looking at me?" Sakura complained.

"I'm not. Your in my blind spot"

"The Byukugan has a blind spot? Interesting" a familiar voice said as all at once their Hiate's suddenly flashed chakra as they all froze in place like statues.

All but their eyes, which began to focus on a man with bluish hair who walked up to the cage.

"Well well, don't we have a zoo break out attempt" he chuckled. "Such sneaky creatures..."

"HEY! WHY DID YOU LOCK US UP!" It would appear that they could still talk "AND WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT A ZOO!?"

"Oh be silent you runt of a fox" Mizuki deadpanned very, very coldly. "A zoo is the best place for you to end up. A nice, old fashioned zoo where humans can throw peanuts at you and you get a cage the size of your desk to crap yourself on"

"A fox..." Naruto asked in confusion.

"Oh, don't you know what no one ever told you!? The Yondiame couldn't kill the Kyuubi, so he did the next best thing, he turned the demon into a little boy...YOU! YOU ARE THE KYUUBI!"

At their utterly pale looks, he just laughed.

"Why...why didn't they tell me...?" Naruto began

"Well..." Hinata began "You did ask as a five year old"

"Can you tell a five year old he has an all powerful demon stuck in his stomach?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah...it is a...a little much" Hiko stuttered

"WHAT! YOU ARE THE DEMON! IT IS NOT STUCK IN YOUR STOMACH!" Mizuki demanded as Naruto gave him a look.

"My mother has tons of books on seals and I've been taught about them, even if she won't let me make any yet. A seal to turn a giant fox into a kid is harder than trapping it. Did you ever open a book on seals?"

"SILENCE!" Mizuki yelled in fury. "I FRANKLY REALLY DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU ARE A FOX OR A MAN! I'VE BEEN PAYED GOOD MONEY TO CAPTURE ALL FOUR OF YOU!" he contained his voice a little "After all, with how rare the Uzumaki, Hyuga and Uchiha bloodlines are, you're worth a lot. And the original source of the Chakra Flu too...well I probably couldn't auction you off as easily as the other three but you sweeten the deal"

"I don't know if I should be offended by that"

"Of course, they only need your bodies. Your minds are, hardly beneficial to the tests and breeding my client's eager to use the girls for. But don't worry" he said far too happily as he snapped his fingers.

The hiate's of everyone in the cage, bar Naruto started to spark as they, while still frozen stiff, started screaming in agony. To put it into perspective, it was the sort of pain one would get with a molten barbed metal pole is forced up one's anus,while giving birth to a fully armored Armadillo, while having your wisdom teeth removed with a pick up truck driven by a drunken Hatfield listening to a Friday remix by Justin Bieber at max volume.

"HEY!" Naruto yelled in horror, still unable to move his body just as they were unable "LET THEM GO!"

"My client wants breeding factories and the antibodies of the Chakra Flu to reverse engineer it. That doesn't require personality. Be lucky that he needs your mind to keep the Kyuubi from possessing yours, or you'd be suffering the same fate.

Naruto closed his eyes, tears streaming down his petrified face "NO...I WON'T LET YOU!"

"What you going to do Vulpy?" Mizuki snarked with a fox slur as he briefly noted that his lips reacted as if he was in pain, considering that no other external part of his body could move "Your just a newly minted genin. Few Jonin could escape this! What are you going to do?"

Naruto opened his eyes, startling Mizuki as they had changed. The eyes had once been blue, but now were purple and ringed.

They were eyes of legend. Eyes of myth. Eyes that no one had been said to have in centuries.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Mizuki suddenly was sent rocketing back into a tree, a Senju Spruce to be specific. The hard bark and the force of the impact combined to turn Mizuki's innards into a fine paste, killing him quite quickly.

The tree was not harmed, though it would have a nasty gut stain on it the Uchiha Squirrels could not get off.

As Mizuki was dead, the chakra in the hiate's stopped working. This freed up their bodies and caused the horrible pain to stop. They collapsed, crying but still quite with their minds.

"HINATA! HIKO! SAKURA!" Naruto yelled out in utter worry as he kneeled next to the down Hinata, her chest heaving up and down, sweat clinging to her shirt making her breasts seem bigger than normal...

Why was he thinking about that now?

"Er...Naruto?" Hinata looked up at him, just as Hiko and Sakura had also woke up

"What happened to your eyes!? What happened to Mizuki-Teme?"

Naruto couldn't see whatever it was his eyes did "I don't know...they just hurt all of a sudden, and then..."

Then, he lost his train of thought, and kissed Hinata on the lips, as between her shoulder blades a orange circle began to glow.

Perhaps that study about being saved from mortal danger increased one's need for sex was true after all


	21. Exams and expands epilogue

Day was totally used on on Saturday and Monday was just evil. My week has been just unbearable to deal with. So this chapter will be short, but after this I can get to what I actually can write, ninja missions. speaking of which, got any ideas of a new way to incorporate Haku. I avoided the cliche Mizuki fail scenario, so I'd like to avoid the cliche Wave mission too.

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C2's 9

Review Replies

61394; don't forget, the act is a little compulsorily. Make that a lot. And unlike Kushina, Naruto lacks years of lust restraint practice.

Guest: understood

Leaf: Well, lets try not to go there again, and with the chapter, I admit some of the pre ninja mission stuff is harder for me to make than ninja stuff

Shadowbloodedge; I shorten names at times. And my view is, while I don't have trouble with a 50 year old man and a 60 year old woman, Naruto is a kid. And I at least find the idea of a woman Anko's age going after a 12 year old Naruto is a bit...off. I mean, if Naruto or Harry were 16, it would be different. But at the moment, he's not and I have moral reasons not to.

Niemand: he's still around, in fact your see him this chapter

Wings: Agreed with the prison torture part. Oh damn the geneva convention

Guest: I can't really keep track. Try searching my name and your find some of the better ones

Spike: yep

And so I begin again

Recap

_"My client wants breeding factories and the antibodies of the Chakra Flu to reverse engineer it. That doesn't require personality. Be lucky that he needs your mind to keep the Kyuubi from possessing yours, or you'd be suffering the same fate._

_Naruto closed his eyes, tears streaming down his petrified face "NO...I WON'T LET YOU!"_

_"What you going to do Vulpy?" Mizuki snarked with a fox slur as he briefly noted that his lips reacted as if he was in pain, considering that no other external part of his body could move "Your just a newly minted genin. Few Jonin could escape this! What are you going to do?"_

_Naruto opened his eyes, startling Mizuki as they had changed. The eyes had once been blue, but now were purple and ringed._

_They were eyes of legend. Eyes of myth. Eyes that no one had been said to have in centuries._

_"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"_

_Mizuki suddenly was sent rocketing back into a tree, a Senju Spruce to be specific. The hard bark and the force of the impact combined to turn Mizuki's innards into a fine paste, killing him quite quickly._

_The tree was not harmed, though it would have a nasty gut stain on it the Uchiha Squirrels could not get off._

_As Mizuki was dead, the chakra in the hiate's stopped working. This freed up their bodies and caused the horrible pain to stop. They collapsed, crying but still quite with their minds._

_"HINATA! HIKO! SAKURA!" Naruto yelled out in utter worry as he kneeled next to the down Hinata, her chest heaving up and down, sweat clinging to her shirt making her breasts seem bigger than normal..._

_Why was he thinking about that now?_

_"Er...Naruto?" Hinata looked up at him, just as Hiko and Sakura had also woke up_

_"What happened to your eyes!? What happened to Mizuki-Teme?"_

_Naruto couldn't see whatever it was his eyes did "I don't know...they just hurt all of a sudden, and then..."_

_Then, he lost his train of thought, and kissed Hinata on the lips, as between her shoulder blades a orange circle began to glow._

_Perhaps that study about being saved from mortal danger increased one's need for sex was true after all_

1. The Death and Return of Kushina2. Friends and eyes3. A responsible Jiraiya? This is not good4. 2 years later, politics and surprises5. Hyuuga Incident Part 16. Hyuuga Incident Part 27. The Misses8. The Orphan with the Sharingan9. Innocence and Lust10. End of the Uchiha11. First day at the Academy12. The Civilians Big Move: Part 113. The Civilians Big Move: Part 214. The Civilians Big Move: Part 315. Recovery and Breakthroughs16. AN17. Exams and Expands part 118. Exams and Expands part 219. Exams and Expands part 320. Exams and Expands part 4

Posting as: Crossoverpairinglover

End Recap

_The aformentioned missing guy, Konoha Apartment Complex_

Itachi Uchiha was a subtle man, not prone to the emotional extremes ninja like Guy were prone to. He preferred subtle approaches.

However, with his half sister missing

CRASH

Subtle went out the door.

"Hello, cousin of Mizuki whose name I don't particularly care for. Tell me where Mizuki is, and you will not face charges"

The blue haired girl rose her hands up in anguish "I haven't spoken to him in years!"

Itachi eyed her for a moment, then turned and left.

"Can you at least pay for my door!?"

"...I hate ninjas" she muttered when she got no answer

_As Itachi causes more property damage_

"Ew...who has a sexual attraction to Rhino's?"

"I could have gone through life never knowing they had magazines like that, but there has to be a clue here" Kushina commented to Mikoto as the conscious trio hunted down the children in their care.

And, when they found Mizuki, deliver the most fearsome of all rages upon him, the rage of the mother who has lost her child. A rage found in Kunoichi, Dinosaur, Fire Nation Princess and occasionally Bjuu alike (depending on your universe of course)

Kushina absently swatted down the dartboard with her son's face on it, before finding a wrapper from a take out place that served mainly sandwiches.

"I do believe we have somewhere else to look" she said darkly as Mikoto and Hitomi nodded, before speeding out of the apartment.

The ANBU who arrived seconds later found it look like something had utterly smashed the apartment.

_A few more searches later, Hokage's office_

"Kushina, I understand your looking for your son and Sakura, as your..." the Hokage looked around for a moment before adding "Quite close female compatriots are looking for their own charges, but you need to calm down"

"Calm down, CALM DOWN! OUR CHILDREN ARE MISSING, KIDNAPPED BY A RHINOPHILE AND YOU EXPECT US TO CALM DOWN!?"

"Bad choice of words...perhaps I found, please stop causing massive property damage and creating potential lawsuits and paperwork for me in excess of what it has to be, a bit too lengthy. My sweeps with my crystal ball have shown that Mizuki and your children are no where in Konoha, so you'd be more productive if you wait for Inuzuka Tsume or Inuzuka Hana to return from...well wherever they are to help you search"

Kushina just barley avoided showing off that she was responsible for putting the two of them in the sex coma...

"They're out cold with Rinnegan marks on their back, aren't they?"

However, Hiruzen was not born yesterday.

Kushina nodded grimly.

"And I can suspect that the missing Jonnin Mitarashi Anko and Yuuhi Kurenai are also your doing?"

"I had no idea my son was going to be abducted today...and my desire level was getting...extreme"

"Please ta...take our word for it...Mistress" Hitomi began, it had taken a long time to get the two to stop calling her mistress or master or something, and even then they still slipped up sometimes "Was getting very...playful. She...she had tried to relax it with..with Sakura-chan, but she was starting to hurt us by mi..mistake during sex"

While Kushina looked guilty Hiruzen managed to banish the perversity from his mind.

"The actions of the four involved...they were consensual right?" he also checked as Kushina nodded

"While I am glad I can avoid having to deal with rape allegations for the civilians to use as fuel, try not to give me more paperwork than necessary. When they are awake, please find a way to minimize my paperwork...now go"

And leave him to deal with the numerous complains they had created just today as they hunted for their children.

But first...the team document. With their treatment as well as the political climate, there was only really one option.

_Some time later, the forest_

After a few hours of hunting through the woods, they had tracked down their brood in a valley, along with the very dead body of Mizuki.

However...that fact hardly registered with them, at the scene they found themselves staring at.

"Oh no" Kushina muttered in horror

All four of them were stuck in a cage that was definitely not meant to ever be escaped from, though Kushina could break it down, would break it down (with extreme prejudice with explosives and other Uzumaki brand overkill)

It was the fact that all four of them were naked and smelled like sex that really horrified them, and the orange swirl symbols visible between Sakura's shoulder blades showed it was not because of Mizuki also being a pedophile.

"My Tourettes Syndrome, my tendency to go for overkill, and now my Rinnegan...why does Naruto have to inherit the worst things from me" Kushina muttered in utter self loathing.

"I knew we should have given them the talk" Mikoto muttered

"But...what about the...the possibility that Mistress might have enacted everything in the talk ou...out"

"...I'm starting to wonder if that would have been less potentially scaring" Mikoto quipped as Kushina grabbed two bars and began to pull.

Chakra enhanced strength, while far from Tsunade levels, was something that most every experienced Kunoichi had, and it was far enough to tear the bars apart.

"Okay, let's get them home. Then I want to get drunk enough so I can actually give the absolute worse The Talk a Ninja parent has ever had to give."

"...Thank Kami for normal delays in Academy Graduation to Team Placement" what Mikoto had once cursed, she now saw as a blessing.


	22. Mother and Son, Eye and Fox

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Spike: About 13 ish...the fact is I don't write stories where people just start having sex and agreeing with it. I like trying to show how its not just a 24/7 orgy. I show its flaws. You have a sex causing super kekkei genkai, and it appears on a young teen out of nowhere. This is going to be something that the four are going to be scared of, they won't just accept it. They will have long talks with their parents about it. All and all, they won't be the adults M fictions with Anko points them out to be. They will be confused kids, not legal adults.

61394: I have no idea why I came up with that...

Bloodedge who is not blogger: Hey, as I said to Spike, the main difference between this story and say, Sex Education Anko Mitarashi Style or something of its pedigree is that they aren't ready. it was something none of them could control, and it will be a looming unpleasant aspect. Also, because of the Rinnegans, it creates a bit of a magnet affect really. Now Naruto and Kushina won't be compelled to go at each other. Ask yourself, what is the greater evil: Naruto and Hinata or Naruto and Kushina?

Wings: I've seen so many SVU episodes about Sex Addicts it must be rubbing off into my stories

Guest: thank you. I've read so many stories I've figured out what I want to avoid. And thank you for the ideas.

Niemand: Are you Guest by any chance? And I've heard of some more disturbing real life obsessions: there are people who are addicted to eating tires, toilet paper, glass, dry wall, and the insides of couches, not to mention addictions to being stung by bees.

While Niemend lets it all sink in,

Recap

_The hiate's of everyone in the cage, bar Naruto started to spark as they, while still frozen stiff, started screaming in agony. To put it into perspective, it was the sort of pain one would get with a molten barbed metal pole is forced up one's anus,while giving birth to a fully armored Armadillo, while having your wisdom teeth removed with a pick up truck driven by a drunken Hatfield listening to a Friday remix by Justin Bieber at max volume._

_"HEY!" Naruto yelled in horror, still unable to move his body just as they were unable "LET THEM GO!"_

_"My client wants breeding factories and the antibodies of the Chakra Flu to reverse engineer it. That doesn't require personality. Be lucky that he needs your mind to keep the Kyuubi from possessing yours, or you'd be suffering the same fate._

_Naruto closed his eyes, tears streaming down his petrified face "NO...I WON'T LET YOU!"_

_"What you going to do Vulpy?" Mizuki snarked with a fox slur as he briefly noted that his lips reacted as if he was in pain, considering that no other external part of his body could move "Your just a newly minted genin. Few Jonin could escape this! What are you going to do?"_

_Naruto opened his eyes, startling Mizuki as they had changed. The eyes had once been blue, but now were purple and ringed._

_They were eyes of legend. Eyes of myth. Eyes that no one had been said to have in centuries._

_"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"_

_Mizuki suddenly was sent rocketing back into a tree, a Senju Spruce to be specific. The hard bark and the force of the impact combined to turn Mizuki's innards into a fine paste, killing him quite quickly._

_The tree was not harmed, though it would have a nasty gut stain on it the Uchiha Squirrels could not get off._

_As Mizuki was dead, the chakra in the hiate's stopped working. This freed up their bodies and caused the horrible pain to stop. They collapsed, crying but still quite with their minds._

_"HINATA! HIKO! SAKURA!" Naruto yelled out in utter worry as he kneeled next to the down Hinata, her chest heaving up and down, sweat clinging to her shirt making her breasts seem bigger than normal..._

_Why was he thinking about that now?_

_"Er...Naruto?" Hinata looked up at him, just as Hiko and Sakura had also woke up_

_"What happened to your eyes!? What happened to Mizuki-Teme?"_

_Naruto couldn't see whatever it was his eyes did "I don't know...they just hurt all of a sudden, and then..."_

_Then, he lost his train of thought, and kissed Hinata on the lips, as between her shoulder blades a orange circle began to glow._

end recap

_Uzumaki Home, next day_

Naruto felt...sore.

He felt more exhausted then he had ever had in his life.

He also felt, oddly enough, sticky.

He remembered passing, then being abducted by Mizuki-Teme, who said he had a giant fox in his got. He then got a lot of pain in his eyes and smashed him into a tree somehow because he was trying to mentally destroy Hinata, Sakura and Hiko.

After that...Naruto drew a blank, as he tried to picture exactly what happened in his mind.

It was a trick that Mommy Hitomi had suggested for math, though it was normally done with various increments of Ramen.

After a moment with his eyes closed, he recalled what happened in fuller detail, (A/N, rather like the flashback).

That almost just seemed to create more questions. Why did he kiss Hinata out of nowhere? Naruto was not a walking romantic comedy like Pervy-Sage was. He wasn't a Cassanova either.

So why did he have the oddest desire to kiss her.

As he wondered that, he finally saw his eyes...his purple ringed eyes, and felt the breeze that only nakedness would allow.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ME?!"

That bout of yelling caused the sound of someone running down the wooden hallways of his home, as a very familiar and comforting face appeared in his room.

"Naru-Kun, your awake!" his mother was utterly relieved.

"Mom!" ignoring the fact that he was naked, his mother hugged him. While it would be a dangerous activity for most people, for some reason the two, or at least Kushina, noticed that being in really close proximity to one another actually decreased their libido.

Magnetism. Rinneganic magnetism. Unfortunately, unless they were in physical contact or within a foot of one another, the libido cancellation didn't occur. While it could work in theory if one killed the other and used their raw skin as leather...only Orochimaru and Danzo would experiment with that and they would not while Rinnegan's were in such limited supply as they were.

"I'm so glad your awake." Kushina rubbed his blond locks affectionately. After they had found the four, and smuggled them back home to avoid dealing with civilians, they had to report to the Hokage about what happened.

He then had to deal with the council, and make sure that they knew what had happened, that Naruto and company were still ninja, and that they would not be charged with Mizuki's murder.

He also had to keep Itachi from causing more property damage.

"What happened to me Mom...why do my eyes look like yours...how long has the Kyuubi been in my stomach" Kushina paled at the fact he knew that "And why am I naked"

Kushina somehow felt as though she could not determine which question she least wanted to answer.

"I'll go in order. First your eyes are something called the Rinnegan. They are a Dojutsu Kekkei Genkai, like Hinata's Byukugan and Hiko's Sharingan. It allows you to use all five elements, shoot missiles and see on various spectrums of light, health and emotions, including thermal, moisture, X-ray, lust..."

"That sound's really cool" Naruto would have shouted, but he didn't feel like it for some reason.

"...You also can never turn it off, have to wear shades to hide it so you don't cause people to freak out and its hell to train, and you have to suffer extreme trauma to activate it. Believe me, I've been working on it for virtually as long as you've been alive, and I haven't managed to master it. I hardly doubt I'm even competent at it"

"...oh..."

"Now...for the Fox" Kushina sighed, hating to ever have to have this conversation.

"When you were born, I had the fox inside me. And unlike you, I could hear the oversized Pomeranian yap. I learned most of my swear words from him actually. However, when someone with a demon inside them gives birth, the seal is weak. Your father, the Yondiame, had taken precautions to keep it from escaping, but then he appeared"

"Who?" Naruto asked in a mixture of curiosity and, well frankly anger. This person sounded like he was responsible for how he and his mother were treated, and due to that their entire family. And he probably was why his father was dead.

"He wore a mask and claimed to by Madara Uchiha, the founder of the Uchiha clan..."

"The guy with the Squirrels?"

Kushina did find that fact sort of funny "yes, the Uchiha with the Rodent fetish, though I actually don't believe that this person was Madara Uchiha. He died ages ago, and even if he had lived he was beaten so horribly that I think Danzo-san has more limb control then he would"

"Danzo-san...that creepy old guy with the cane and the bandages?"

"Yes"

"...What happened to Madara then? Did the Kyuubi sit on him or something?"

"I doubt the history books would have mentioned that. Anyway, he ripped the Kyuubi out of me, took control of it and well...you've seen the history books. Death, destruction, many new inmates to the local asylum, a influx of religious fervor and born again fanatics...and various other negatives" the last one because of how they seemed to forget the poly-faith idea of 'though shall not kill' whenever Naruto was around. "I was dying, and your Father couldn't seal the fox in me because it would have gotten out when I died and either destroy Konoha again, or pop up somewhere else, destroy other villages and be taken as a weapon by said villages to most likely destroy Konoha again. And only a Uzumaki has the strength of body to hold that much demonic chakra without dying"

"So, I had to become a living storage scroll" Naruto said in a resigned tone "But, if you were dying"

At that, Kushina had a frown.

"I don't know what happened. I passed out, and had a strange dream of being in some places of death. I screamed your name, and woke up in a morgue. I looked for you as soon as possible, and well you've lived the story since. I developed the Rinnegan shortly after"

Kushina had also had a rare moment of religious thought after dying and coming back, but no temple would let her attend. And after the eighth attempt by a fanatic, religion to her lost its good graces.

"So, that explains my eyes and the fact that I carry an oversized fox in my gut capable of leveling villages...but why am I naked?"

Kushina suddenly wished she could just make Minato talk about it.

"Well, you see son, the Rinnegan has this...one other quirk"

**Promo**

**Keyblade Corps Bio**

**Rock Lee**

In the worlds, there exist heroes who are destined to face the forces of darkness who threaten their worlds. However, they cannot protect their world and the many others in the endless vortex on their own.

And so it falls to those heroes of another sort to deal with the affairs out of world, while they protect their own

Recruit #7

Name: Rock Lee

Homeworld: Land of Shinobi

Natural abilities: Enhanced Strength, Speed and Endurance due to magic family power known as 'Chakra'. Said to be 'disabled' by his worlds standards

Education: Military styled. Does not appear to be able to perform advanced subjects such as Trigonometry, Chemistry or Baking.

Keyblade: Spring of Youth. Blade takes characteristics of a force known as 'The Power of Youth', as well as the symbol of his village.

Current Status: To be deployed to World designation, Hogwarts. To aide in Recruitment of Ron Weasley.


	23. Mother and Son, Eye and Fox part 2

Ever have a week when life tries to kill you or at least give you a Crucio enchanted Rasengan in the butt? Yeah, that is me right now. Horrible homework, a chicken with worms, who I fear will be dead tomorrow...well I'm not quite my normal writing self right about now. But, seeing as this is really just part two to the argument in last chapter, I don't have to go and write something extremely plot important but instead get to rant a little.

Faves 191

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Leaf: He won't take it well

Shadowbloodedge: I don't particularly condone incest

61394: Really, no one has to comment on the whole, Kyuubi sitting on Madara thing?

Theniemand: Really? Anyway, I thought you might be guest because you two had similarly positive comments. I rarely get positive comments

Spikesegeta: Not set in as of yet

So, do any of you guys watch, or watched Young Justice? If so, I could use some fans for Next Gen. Maybe I just choose badly for the current story arc, but my reviews are drying up. And my best reviewer there is silent. He's practically my beta! If you know a Guest who knows a lot about DC and Marvel comics, please check to see if he's my guest.

Also, a new poll is up. I'm interested to see how people respond. Pay particular attention to the seven with asterics, or these *...

Now, lets try to beat the evil that is the week of March 20th!

Recap (This one being from a while ago that relates to this conversation)

_"You corrupted a...how old a kid are you talking about..." Mikoto began to rant_

_"Late genin age..."_

_"A 14 YEAR OLD!" they were all startled at this, even the Hyuga generally left sex alone until they were 16. Then...well there was a reason the Hyuga had more kids than other clans._

_"The ladies liked him apparently...enhanced Stamina and possibly..."_

_Kushina glared at him before he could even amend his comment to 'lingerie shopping'._

_"HEY...really its not exactly like I had much a choice over the Nagato sex thing, or what will happen next for that matter" Jiraiya countered. At their looks, he frowned "I am a super pervert who enjoys doing and writing about normal sex, threesomes, orgies, lesbians though I don't personally have feelings for the other way, though I have nothing but respect for those who swing that way, bondage, fetishes and large boobs and asses, but there are some things I do not condone. Rape, bestiality, child porn and incest are among them. When I was with Nagato, I found that his sex drive increased to a point that makes me blush!"_

_They all gave him a stare that suggested he just saw Tsume pet a cat._

_"Nagato had a massive physical need, or perhaps addiction is a better word, to sex. If he hadn't had to spend all his time releasing, he could have easily mastered enough jutsu to fill the scroll of sealing! I didn't want to take Nagato into the red light districts after training at first, but the fact is if I hadn't, he would have eventually snapped and probably raped his friends Yahiko and Konan, and he was raised in a home that was very homophobic if his comments about lesbians were anything to go by! My dislike of child sex is less than my dislike for rape, a lesser of the two evils if you will! Why do you think in mythologies that gods spend most of their time having sex!? Why do you think so many people can use chakra: the Sage of the Six Paths was very, very busy!" and yet people wondered why ninja had trouble reproducing, though at least with them they tried to look outside the family, unlike some other inbred super humans._

_Unlike the race of toad and snake people, however, they didn't realize they were all related._

_"But I don't feel like I want to have sex..." Kushina defended "Not to mention, I am not a hormonal and crazed teenager like Nagato was..."_

_"That's the thing, Nagato was a LATE bloomer. He didn't grow a singe armpit hair until about three months after the cravings started. And based on the sage, I highly doubt that being an adult helps at all, probably the opposite really. I normally have a rule about not actually having sex with the loved ones of people I care or once cared about, but considering what potentially will happen if you don't get a release...I'm willing to break that rule" the last part was very, very serious"_

End Recap

_Uzumaki Home, Konoha_

"No...no...no...I'M A MONSTER!"

Normally this sort of freak out would occur when a Naruto finds out that inside his gut lives a creature capable of taking on the entire Avengers, fight a Super Saiyan or single handily stop the Justin Beiber's from pouring out of Hell level 9 and three quarters.

However, that wasn't why Naruto was freaking out. Sure, the Jinchuriki thing would cause a need for therapy...

But to find out what his Rinnegan had caused him to do...that sunk in and caused the following yell fest.

Kushina attempted to put a calming hand on her son's shoulder "Calm down...you didn't..."

"WHAT!? HURT THEM!? RAPE THEM!? MOM, WHEN YOU DEFEND THE BOTH OF US, YOU SOUND LIKE AN ACCUSED RAPIST!"

Kushina wasn't sure how to respond to that

"DO YOU EVEN CARE WHAT YOU DID TO MOMMY HITOMI..." Kushina was about to respond "MOMMY MIKOTO!" she was interrupted "AND HOW MANY OTHER VICTIMS DO YOU HAVE!?"

Tears began to flow down Kushina's eyes "Naruto-Kun...it was either them, or you"

"What?!" he demanded, now with about 17% anger. The rest was in confusion.

"The Pervy sage had taught a student with the Rinnegan once named Nagato. His sexual needs were extreme, apparently to a point of causing rape to rocks. Jiraiya, he nearly took you from me because he was worried..."

"That you...might go after me as a child" Naruto was pale at this point in the shade Orochimaru 5.

"Polygamous swinging, or rape of the worse kind. What was I supposed to do? I could hold my needs together for a while, but I eventually needed Hitomi and Mikoto in order to avoid being a danger to you and everything else. Both of them needed it to...the death of her family had left Hitomi nearly broken and Mikoto was devastated by the end of her marriage and the disappearance of Sasuke..."

"The brother I never knew" Naruto said remorsefully.

"Might Guy once said something, unrelated to youth and sunsets, that I think he learned when he went after the Chimichaunga killer years ago" Kushina began "He said that 'With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility', which he is apparently teaching to his students just as he teaches the Flames of Youth. He tells them that the powers of a ninja grant great power that must be used responsibly. For the good of the village and to protect those precious to you, like family or friends. However, I think it works with us too. We have a powerful blood line that gives us great power, that we must take great care not to abuse. During your test, I did in fact go 'swinging', to let off some accumulated steam. I should be safe for years now until I have to do it again. If I wanted to I could affect another person every time I had the urge, but I don't. I only do so when my sexual needs become dangerously high for Hitomi and Mikoto"

"This...what I have from my eyes...what we have in our eyes, its no great power, or a great responsibility, its a great curse" Naruto said darkly as he looked anywhere but his mother, who frowned. While he was no longer at the 'I hate you mother' stage, he wasn't going to be hugging her anytime soon.

"You may be right, Naruto-Kun, but we are stuck with it, and its better the eyes are in us then someone who won't hesitate to abuse it"

**Omake 1**

**Non Canon **

**Substitute Naruto**

"A...AAACHO!"

Naruto blew his nose with the audible range of a majority of natural creatures, in a rather large infirmary in CrossoverPairinglover studios.

"Naruto...this is why people don't wear battle sandals in Scottish Castles, in the winter" Harry Potter, the dark haired, green eyed, lightning scared four eyed wizard deadpanned to his co worker.

"It was never a problem back ho...ho...home CHOOO!"

Hinata sighed "Naruto...your too sick to work today"

"But I'm per...perfectly CHOOO healthy! How else am I...Am I CHOOO...going to pay for my ramen?!"

"Sick leave, the term is. Familiar with it, you are not?" A small green...thing with large ears named Yoda sagely commented "Now... Tapioca, I am looking for. Where it is, I ask..."

Harry and Hinata pointed him down the hall as the small critter left.

"...Don't worry" Percy Jackson, the taller, glass and scar less, sea green eyed demigod who sort of resembled Harry, chuckled in earnest "I managed to get you a substitute to fill your place until you recover"

"Oh, you mean Gaara..."

"No"

"...Rock Lee"

"No"

"You?"

"Annabeth is taking me on a tour of Death City"

"Who then?"

_Meanwhile, in Konoha_

"Prepare to die, fox!" a corrupt ANBU drew his sword, preparing to slice Naruto's sub in half.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" a blue haired kid who was sort of dressed shinobi like, with a star motif tattoo on his hand, yelled out "BLACK STAR SHINES BRIGHTER THAN YOU ALL!"

After dealing with Naruto's sub for about 15 minutes, Konoha organized a S rank assassination mission on Percy for giving them a Naruto on drugs to deal with.

He only remained alive because he has the Achilles Curse, and because the lack of symmetry in the attackers got Percy aid from Death the Kid.

**Omake 2**

**Promo**

**Keyblade Corps**

Organization of lower tier heroes. The Corps is designed to deal with the need to combat evil in both the world of a heroes origin, and in the multiple world stage after a group led by seven of the most dangerous villains from the worlds of Alegesia, Land of Shinobi, Cybertron, Distant Galaxy, Middle Earth, The Dominion of Death and Danville, villains so fearsome they can make a powerful dark world look as competent as Naruto in episode 1. With heroes like Naruto, Ichigo and Optimus Prime needed to keep their own worlds from falling into darkness like the world of the Ominous Sky, or to fall to the control of a local bad guy, as has fallen the world of Distant Galaxy, the Keyblade Corps is thus made up of less important heroes who can deal with these problems without leaving a world to be consumed by its native evils.

Rock Lee, Tsukune Aano, Ulrich Stern, Max Ride and Ahsoka Tano are among those in the corps: background heroes, those who wish to better themselves or those who no longer have a home.

Their next recruit is a young man by the name of Ron Weasley, and the next target of the group of dark foes is a resident of Hogwarts who to them will be the third...

To be seen in the next chapter of Harry Potter reads the Multiverse, guest staring Rock Lee, Obito as Tobi/Madara and perhaps even a special girl from Rock's world.

Mildly important characters not mentioned yet: Voldemort, Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood, Padme Amidala, Darth Vader, Nudge, Dolores Umbridge, Anakin Skywalker, Jeremy Belpois, XANA


	24. Hinata vs Naruto?

The weeks of death are finally giving up their attempts to kill me. It is probably not helping that at this time, I've chosen to deal with a heavily emotional and other angst stuff I'm not the best at.

Faves 200

Alerts 200

C2's 9

Review replies

Lord: I'll try

Shadowbloodblogeredge: I'm told the pairing is popular in Japan, NejiHina, and the life isn't that much.

61394: Last chapter

Spike: Recall that Guy ran into Deadpool when he crossed a fault, who had been there dropping off a canister of the Legacy Virus/ Chakra Flu that had devastated their world? Deadpool quoted a few phrases from that world that Guy liked.

Casey W: I admit, I have a bad habit at that. It is something I try to avoid when possible, but when I want to get a chapter out...er its sometimes helpful if I need to emphasize a detail that people might have missed. Other times I want to keep to my chapter every two days timeline, and need a last minute patch.

PhantomPrince: I like to think the eyes don't generate harems and happy rainbows, they generate misery and harems that Naruto did not want, at all

Times a wasting...

recap

_However...that fact hardly registered with them, at the scene they found themselves staring at._

_"Oh no" Kushina muttered in horror_

_All four of them were stuck in a cage that was definitely not meant to ever be escaped from, though Kushina could break it down, would break it down (with extreme prejudice with explosives and other Uzumaki brand overkill)_

_It was the fact that all four of them were naked and smelled like sex that really horrified them, and the orange swirl symbols visible between Sakura's shoulder blades showed it was not because of Mizuki also being a pedophile._

_"My Tourettes Syndrome, my tendency to go for overkill, and now my Rinnegan...why does Naruto have to inherit the worst things from me" Kushina muttered in utter self loathing._

_"I knew we should have given them the talk" Mikoto muttered_

_"But...what about the...the possibility that Mistress might have enacted everything in the talk ou...out"_

_"...I'm starting to wonder if that would have been less potentially scaring" Mikoto quipped_

end recap

_Hokage's office, a day later_

"...Your asking me for parental advice? Hiruzen asked Kushina in astonishment after she explained how her talk wtih Naruto had went.

"Yes, Hokage-Sama"

"...Have you met Asuma? He and I can barely manage to exist in the same room without arguing."

Kushina lowered her head in desperation.

"If it helps you, I've managed to get the paper work done authenticating your request" he explained as she looked up in surprise.

"Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura formerly Haruno, Hinata Hyuga and Hiko Uchiha will be one team, overseen by yourself as their official sensei. Try to avoid causing a diplomatic incident or something"

_A underground lair_

"...ROOT, I apologize for the loss of your eyes. Your sacrifice for Konoha will be forever engraved into the foundation..." Danzo commented to the ROOT ANBU member who no longer had eyes or several areas of his brain important for visual and mental ability. He formed a hand seal for quick and painless death, activating the seal on the base of the ninja's tongue. He was dead in a heartbeat.

"You" he pointed to another ROOT "Engrave his number into the wall of the Honored Root, and dispose of the body" zombily nodding, the ROOT did as he was told.

Danzo shook his head in disappointment. His attempts at cloning Sharingan eyes had utterly failed. What a waste of resources.

It would seem like the eye fluids of the Sharingan were either not enough to make a new eye, or didn't have a certain restraint to them. The untapped power would destroy any individual who tried to have one for his or her own without the proper controls.

Like the eyes itself.

He'd have to go back to the drawing board, if Konoha was to have the eyes of the Sharingan, and later down the road the Byukugan or Rinnegan, in mass numbers. Of course, from what he understood breeding the eyes was in progress right about now.

_Speaking of..._

Kushina had just finished a seal that would deal with the Rinengan's submissive effects, to avoid Hinata, Hiko or Sakura calling Naruto Master by mistake.

However, Naruto was no where to be seen: alive because Kushina did have a seal to monitor that (It had been put on as a baby and never removed), but missing.

So, while Kushina was adding the seal to make sure her partners had the same benefit, the three of them went looking for the wayward lover of ramen.

They found him in Training Area 9, in a little thicket of trees that obscured him from most fields of vision, but not the Byukugan.

When they found him, he said in the most miserable of tones, his hair covering his eyes.

"Go away..."

That hurt "But Naruto..."

"I'm dangerous...for your own good..."

"Naruto...if this is about the fox..."

"No, its not" he said very, very seriously "Its me..." and he showed off his Rinnegan eyes.

"I'm a monster, not for having a giant fox stuck in my gut plotting ways to escape and level cities to the ground. These eyes...they make me into a ticking time bomb. A danger to every female around me"

"Naruto..."

"Mom may have accepted that she is a menace to society...but I won't. "

"Naruto..."

"Maybe its best if I take myself ou..."

"NARUTO!" Hinata yelled in a very fed up, un canon Hinata manner.

"Naruto. Listen up, and listen well. You, are not, a rapist! Rapists attack..."

"I..."

"NARUTO! I WILL JUKEN YOUR MOUTH SHUT IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP!"

"..."

"Good. Now, Rapists attack people. Rapists also do not regret it. Rapists do not go into a corner and cry their eyes out with their self pity. Rapists have no regard for the people they hurt. So Naruto, you are not a Rapist"

".."

"Attempt to say anything to degrade yourself further, and you won't be able to eat ramen ever again"

That was the golden way to make Naruto obey your will. At least, if you could actually do something about it.

"Look. We do not hate you. We realize that what happened was something you couldn't stop. If you did that willingly...things would be different. But you didn't do it willingly. You were overwhelmed by power that you did not know existed and were under great emotional turmoil. You'd be legally safe, and we don't hold you responsible either."

"It...it was really not...not that bad" Hiko stuttered, blushing a storm.

"We can work through what happened. Am I saying that, after what happened we should start sleeping in the same room like Mommy Kushina and her partners? No, but we can't change what happened. And the only way to try to deal with your problem is avoiding getting so sexually frustrated you do actually snap"

Hinata closed her eyes "So, when you do need to deal with your eye's side effects, I'll be there to do it."

She gave an annoyed sigh as Naruto looked at her in alarm, with Hiko and Sakura hardly any less surprised. While they didn't hate Naruto, they weren't going to have sex with him anytime in their foreseeable future due to emotional turmoil.

"Now get out of that thicket before I have Hiko set it on fire"

_A/NI did Say that the Hinata of this world takes a bit after her counterpart in the Road to Ninja earth. While this Hinata won't rape Naruto, she has a bit of an attitude. And somehow I think a Hinata giving a What the Hell speech to a Naruto is striking. _

_ Meanwhile, in the Domain of a popular Omake_

"Oh I'm sorry...I sent him back"

Artemis gave the oddly female Satan a glare. This Satan, who apparently called herself 'Luna' at times, was using her trident to attempt to open a pickle jar and paying only half attention to her.

She never understood why mortals mixed things like her up with her uncle Hades.

"Your domain has the scent of a similar being to one..."

"Yes yes, I had the one responsible's husband" Luna cut the Goddess off, though. "He was too willing to be tortured for having to make one of those, need of many outweigh the need of a few, decisions. Do you know how annoying it is to torture the willing, and I don't mean masochistics. This place is for the unrepentant, the worst of humanity. The people down here are living embodiment of hate, or saps who are willing to give up their souls to me and expect to trick me out of taking them. People who accept their wrongdoings and believe punishment is necessary, or those who give up their souls for selfless reasons, mothers to save their children who were mauled by bears for instance, they don't scream like the others. It sets my musical ensemble of screams off. I usually just send them to some other afterlife area, or stick them in limbo"

"Can you tell me where you got his soul from?" Artemis demanded evenly.

"No. I don't really keep track of it. I have several out of world souls in my lovely establishment: Lewis Dogson, a competitor and rather dirty business man from that world you visited with the dinosaur park, Cad Bane who was a bounty hunter from that space world with a cool hat that I took from him, I even have the robotic, immortal 'spark' soul of some whiny robot called Starscream...but all of them deserve a nice stay in my new pit of despair"

"Lovely...so you can't help me out at all, and possible save all reality?"

"No, now go, before I put you in the Justin Bieber pit" While Artemis collected weapons and creatures from the various worlds, she collected the Justin Bieber's and locked them in a pit for torturing souls.

North Korea's eternal leader was due to come out of there in a few days.

**Omake**

**Non Canon**

**Harem Sociology**

"To build a successful polygamous relationship, you need a certain type of person. That does not require god level sex skills or clone tricks, but a person who is capable of being understanding of her lover being forced into a CRA or Head of House multi marriage."

"Most would not. Without severe world alteration, characters like Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley or Sakura Haruno are too head strong and stiff moraled to consider such a relationship. Those who might consider would either have to be of such a understanding and kind soul you could call them Princesses of Heart and get few odd looks outside of the extreme shippers for rival pairings, such as Hinata Hyuga, or just so strange they'd probably tell you to get a lover, like Luna Lovegood. Curiously, anime female seem most capable of realistically adapting..."

As the talk ended at the studio, Naruto and Harry exchanged looks. Why did they have to attend these dumb lectures anyway?

"Does the author have anything else to write about but Harem stories?"

"Well, that Pokemon story didn't get any fans, and his idea of a Jurassic Park would be even worse. Moon Heir went out of control..." Harry began

"Yeah yeah, he can't write any stories that are popular that don't involve harems...I still think it's sort of degrading"

"Hey, at least he's not writing us just randomly asking girls to be members of harems. He realizes that that normally would just get us slapped, well maybe Hinata might agree if the girl wasn't Sakura..."

"Oh you shut up"


	25. Impending Issues

Those who are fans of Jurassic Park or the world of ancient creatures should read a little limited series I call 'The Savage Island Documentary'. It will have greater importance later in a story, but not this one. And also, just for curiosities sake, how good are 3D conversions of old movies? If anyone can give me some first hand advice, I'd appreciate it.

Also, some work there and my research to answer one of your reviews, in fact a good ol' boy down below me, took up my time.

Bloodedge: I only did one omake. That was full canon. And I wouldn't pity them, but that is just me. Again, it a culture thing there. Characters in Japan that are huge include Sasuke, who is not a scrappy there, like he is in North America. Japan has different levels of like for different characters than we do. There, Stitch is bigger than Mickey Mouse, and God of War barely sells. The 2003 turtles were hated, Xbox 360 sold poorly, Kabuto and Orochimaru aren't nearly as (What do you call villains fans like anyway? Liked? Liked to hate? Utterly loathed?) Thomas the Tank Engine has his own theme park, My Life as a Teenage Robot and Chalk Zone are considered top Nick toons and Japanese Spongebob is considered cute by Japanese adult woman.

Culebara de Sol: I felt like doing it

Niemand: It was a...failed idea

61394: The Justin Bieber pit is a multiverse of Beiber who do everything in sheep like sink. Sing, Dance, Pee...ect ect.

Leaf: I was going at it with pure personality and canon, with no fanon added. So Ginny remained her fiery self, with no accepted magical polgyamy.

Now, while the former Naruhina digests the facts about Japan I dug up.

_The academy a day later_

Shikamaru, while appearing to be asleep on a deer pillow pet of unknown origin, was actually taking note of all the students who had graduated.

He noted how Naruto seemed to be...lacking his normal exuberance. He wondered why...

But really, it was a troublesome question to ponder. Sheep would not count themselves after all

As Shikamaru resumed his vigil of lambs, Iruka took note of the class.

This class had a strong potential to create legends, and he found that even the one he had originally seen as his greatest tormenter was actually not all that bad.

Iruka was glad to have been proven wrong about his initial worries and prejudices.

So anyway, it was now time to take team categories

"Alright, graduates, today is the day..."

"Okay, you totally stole that line" Kiba huffed

"...Okay then, last time I try to use a line you guys might be familiar with from this decade...today you all will be given your potential assignments. Should your sensei be impressed with your team's skill level, ability to work together or enthusiasm, you will become official ninja. If your sensei is not for which ever reason said sensei is most fixated on, you go to the, special class"

At the phrase, special class...Shino's bugs had a 2% die off.

Choji briefly lost his appetite

Shikamaru woke up in utter fullness

"Wait, what's this about a sensei approval...when did this happen!?" Kiba demanded as Iruka shrugged.

"It has always been there. The Hokage just decided that we might be able to avoid our high fail rate if you guys are aware you have to be good enough in specific ways."

"I'm a damn experiment...I thought that was Hana's problem!?"

"The older sibling curse is not a factor here, now your assignments. Team 1..."

_Speaking of Hana_

Said Inuzuka daughter, her mother, Kurenai and Anko were lined up, with Kushina's shadow clone informing them of their role after...the incident.

"Alright girls. As you may or may not have figured out, while you were swinging about, getting over various stresses with boy friends, previous traumas and having to have de flea your home, you ended up having sex with me. Now, normally I'm not much for a mass orgy, but I wasn't quite myself at the time. So, while I, or well the real me, will try to work with your personal lives, I will still require your services outside and within my sexual needs"

"As Kurenai and Anko do not have families, and share a too small apartment, they will move in here. They will aide in the teaching of my children with Genjutsu and espionage techniques. Tsume, Hana, I know from personal experience how important family is to a child, so you will remain as you were, as Kiba's loving family"

"I also...apologize for what happened. I hadn't meant to drag four people into my mess of a life, but I can only hope that you can accept..."

Kushina frowned "Why aren't you talking...at all...?"

Did the seals on them act up or something? Well, better fix that quickly.

_Back at the academy_

"Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Hiko, Hyuga Hinata and Sakura. Due to your family circumstances, and assuming your skills do not fail, you all will share a sensei: Uzumaki Kushina"

He noticed that Naruto was oddly put out by it. Perhaps it was just a family issue or something?

Naruto then sneezed as he said the first member of the next team's name "...Inzuka Kiba and Aburame Shino. Your potential sensei will be Gekko Hayate"

"...He better not eat me..."

"Shino...that just sounds wrong somehow" Kiba muttered

"Team 9 is currently occupied, and Team 10 will be Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru and Akamichi Chouji. Assuming you don't flunk out, your sensei shall be Sarutobi Asuma."

"Wait, isn't he the guy who smokes...ewww" Ino said with disgust "We have a suicidal sensei!"

"Better than no sensei at all" Shikamaru muttered "So, just breath the air in your blouse if he really is that bad. Don't be so troublesome"

"I DON'T WANT LUNG CANCER!"

_Some intolerance aside, the ROOT CAVERNS_

There were many numbers of power in the world Danzo lived in.

There were 9 tailed beasts.

Konoha had 4 noble clans

There were 5 great nations

Together, these numbers made the number 18.

When they were divided by 3, there was a number caked in darkness.

6.

Thus, there were six groups of ROOT ninja on staff at all times.

One squad was always in Konoha, fully rested and ready to act if he saw any danger to Konoha: he was the reason spies had been 75% less common in Konoha then any other village.

Another squad was attempting to kill Orochimaru, or obtain his research on Kekkai Genaki. His work might aid him in recreating the Sharingan.

A third squad was currently investigating a rumor about a powerful stone from the distant lands to the south. Thankfully they had commandeered a boat called 'The Orca'.

Oddly enough, it was covered in blood and human limbs, and the locals were suffering from attacks by some 'giant shark' nonsense.

A fourth squad was currently investigating this rumor about a red eyed boy in a red light district in the Land of Water. Perhaps it was Sasuke, or perhaps more evidence about how Fugaku could not keep it in his pants. No matter what, the Sharingan had to be Konoha's.

A fifth squad was going to the Daimyo's residence to eliminate Tora. The cat was a security risk, it knew too much. That, and if the cat kept going to Konoha, the Daiymo could make some claim about Ninja being responsible and try to get the cat lovers against them. After all, it was easy to assume that Tsume would be willing to cause a cat genocide if she could.

The sixth squad was also in Konoha, having investigated a strange 'light' in the Land of Lightning. Inside it they had found a creature that was just as powerful as a tailed beast.

They had captured it, and he would find a way to have it work for Konoha

"EHHHH!"

Danzo turned around, sharply as a huge blast of lightning burst through the floor of his bonsai room. A huge, golden yellow and shadow black bird, depending what side of the wing you saw of it, bird rose up from the holding area.

The bird had a huge, elongated beak, somewhat short legs and it was able to produce huge quantities of bio electricity.

The natives of the strange land he had sent his ROOT to called it a strange name...Zapdos.

"EHHHH!"

Danzo barely avoided being electrocuted as he found himself in a very, potentially lethal situation.

_While Danzo has problems with his little cameo creature...Konoha Proper, Training Ground 3._

Kushina sighed. Naruto still was not talking to her. She really had to figure out a way to deal with this.

She couldn't force him...he inherited her stubbornness.

She'd just have to endure.

"Okay, normally this is when a sensei would go into detail about introducing everyone to each other. But, seeing as we already know each other, I think that would be treating you all like pre schoolers. And none of us are pre schoolers. Assuming you pass, which I do believe you will, you all will be legal adults. Old enough to drink..." she caught herself there "Old enough to gamble and old enough to appreciate...er cool jazz"

Without sex, she lost a lot of adult benefits.

"Now, while I know that you all have the skills to be Genin, but we can hardly afford the Civilians trying to raise a stink over it. Ninja on the fence about our status as 'scum' would take offense it was obvious that I just let you go by unchallenged. So we're going to have to ensure that they'll stay quiet, but I'm sure you can handle it."

_In the ruins of a world once home to sparkling vampires_

"You have failed, Sasuke. You are not worthy of the name, Uchiha"

Sasuke, whose body looked like he had been put through a cheese grater from Ibiki's kitchen of evil, groaned in pre teen agony as Tobito looked on. Sasuke could only talk because said impostor had a genjutsu on him to make him talk and ignore the pain, and speak the utter truth.

The kid would have problems for that later. But Tobito didn't really care.

"You failed to kill a simple Super Saiyan" Tobito continued "No proper Uchiha should have failed that"

"Y...you expected me to kill something like that!? I'm an assassin, you trained me to kill quickly and silently, how to find the weaknesses of any opponent, even non humans. I killed the God Killer and the members of the Gotei thirteen because I caught them off guard. Vegeta...he knew I was coming. He got mad. And I can probably no longer have children, or digest carrots. And my eyes hurt...hurt like that fire you put in me"

Tobito was surprised at that. Ages ago, he had implanted a limited amount of his own Amarteresu flames in Sasuke so he could have a secret weapon.

But, if Sasuke was feeling eye pain...

Tobito got a better look at Sasuke's eyes.

They had changed. No longer were they Tomae, they now resembled a series of three overlapping eclipses.

Sasuke now had his own fire. The beating by a super saiyan had given him the power of the Uchiha's greatest eyes.

The Mangekyo Sharingan.

**Omake**

**Canon**

**Pokemon Battle**

A WILD ZAPDOS APPEARED!

GO, DANZO!

DANZO USED AIR CUTTER!

its not very effective

ZAPDOS USED THUDERBOLT

IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!

DANZO USED PROTECT!

ZAPDOS USED DRILL PECK!

DANZO PROTECTED HIMSELF!

DANZO USED DOUBLE TEAM!

ZAPDOS USED THUNDER!

ZAPDOS'S ATTACK MISSED!

DANZO USED QUICK ATTACK!

CRITICAL HIT!

ZAPDOS USED THUNDERBOLT!

IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!

DANZO FAINTED

THE WILD ZAPDOS ESCAPED

...It's A's problem now.

Danzo needs medical attention.


	26. Tora and the ends of the Earths

I was going to get more work done on Friday, but I ended up having a rough play time with a very enthusiastic Pit Bull puppy. I had to distract her...and said creature demonstrated how Pit Bulls are powerful beasts even without biting. So, because I was also tired after finally getting through the week before Spring break, I figured it would be best for me to get more sleep, and recover from the doggy bullet of death. I don't have any bite wounds or anything...but a super puppy is still a super puppy.

61394: Sasuke was ordered by Tobito to kill a Saiyan, and it went as well as you'd expect

Stallion: Zapdos is today's ensemble dark horse it would seem

Shadow: It got to me. And that team member...er whatever I put there isn't going to be important. That sneeze just saved me some work

Pwell: If I had used Articuno or Zapdos would I get this amount of attention?

Mattblue: It is nice to see your face around two of my stories. By any chance do you fan Harry Potter or Young Justice?

Spike: Glad you guys are no longer roasting me on that

Yuri-Hime: I am in a funk

Leaf: Well...remind me if I ever write a Hunger Games max X over to add Sereiteite to their food.

Niemand: Does anyone review this chapter for more than just the omake?

Legionary Prime: That is because the first harem anime I watched was based on a manga that more or less deconstructs the idea, while still keeping the harem there. Due to this, I realize that a harem fic shouldn't a story where every character just agrees and accepts it. It needs a legit source, and real problems. Since Romance isn't something I can write in bulk, I focus on its other problems

BNGWARRIOR: Believe me, ending a fic is something I've never done right, except maybe in Harry Potter and the Restored Legacy.

Red Neo: thanks

Oh, and to all fans. Can I have a cookie?

_Konoha Hospital_

Hiruzen had a lot of work to do, and while he appreciated a break once in a while, he liked using his breaks to be with his family, watch woman bathe and read Icha Icha.

Finding out that his old rival had been fried like poultry and was currently in the hospital moaning pitifully, for a Danzo, was not how he planned to get out of work.

"Nurse...what exactly happened to him?" he asked the...rather shapely nurse as she gave him a look.

"Please don't stare at my chest, or my hips...and as to what happened to him, we have several theories. He could have fallen into the power plant, he may have been drunk and made out with a power socket, or perhaps he was attacked by an assassin with Lightning Release. However, as per your policy, we have ensured with 100% certainty that these are not wounds from the Kyuubi"

You'd be surprised how many broken legs, bowel problems and hangnails were blamed on Naruto.

"So, how long until he is able to go to council meetings. I have enough political problems without one of my main allies in keeping the Uzumaki family alive and in Konoha"

"He is healing at a 1.59% faster rate than most men his age...so I'd say he'll be back in about...a week"

Got to love the Ninja Healthcare system.

And got to love his ability to suspend the weekly council meetings at a whim. He'd do it more...but sometimes taking a medicine constantly made you addicted to its power, and it lost effectiveness.

_The Training Ground_

Kushina was pondering if she should just put a bell on her waist, and if that was potentially dangerous, as her ninja trained eye spotted something brown dart through the training area.

"Got it. If you can do a genin mission, everyone will accept you. Your test, is to capture Tora the demon cat"

"Demon cat?" Hiko said nervously.

"...Well, maybe not literally a demon, but that cat was a problem when I was a genin...or the Daimyo's mother who had the cat back in the day just clones or inbreeds them like crazy. Anyway, catch that cat, and no one will doubt you are worthy of being ninja"

_An hour later, in a Coffee Shop_

Itachi sighed. Why hadn't he gotten to do anything worthy of attention in ages. It was as if someone with more power than any kage had forgotten he existed.

Like some guy named Chuck.

_As Itachi debates if his middle name is Cunningham_

"THERE IT IS! GO NARUTO"

"SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"

"MREWWW!"

POOF! POOF! POOF!

"DAMN IT! THERE GOES PLAN 5!"

Kushina frowned as her children, biological or adopted, were currently discovering why capturing Torra had a record capture time of approximately 3 hours and 15 minutes, by Might's Guys squad.

And that only had happened because Tora's claws had gotten stuck in Lee's jumpsuit. While this wasn't said out right, that still was a problem as the claws were in a certain area of his body, but it still was over an hour faster than the last record, set by a team with two years experience in the Golden Age of Konoha Ninjutsu, back when the average lifespan of ninja was 30 years of age and Genin were trained 5 times as harshly as ROOT shinobi.

In the worse case scenario, they had a 72 time hour window to pass their genin teams. And few cats managed to stay hidden for that long.

"GENJUTSU: HELL VIEWING TECHNIQUE!" Sakura began plan number six, as Tora hissed at her, before dashing out of the way.

Instead, it hit Naruto.

"AHHH! RAMEN PESTILENCE!"

Kushina flinched. That cat had learned how to avoid Genjutsu from its mother, who had learned it from its mother...basically making the cat freeze by genjutsu never worked.

Kurenai failed at it, Itachi had failed at it, even Minato failed to capture the cat after he was Hokage, and got bored.

It somehow had managed to stop the jutsu that broke Iwa.

Not to mention that hell vision sounded like pure evil.

"HINATA NOW!"

"EIGHT TRIGRAMS, 32 PALMS!"

"MROWWW!"

32 palms vs 64 claw slashes...

Well, Tora got away and Hinata had a lot of cuts on her hands.

Plan seven had pretty much just crippled Hinata's offensive capabilities, considering that in most timelines she had only been able to make that healing ointment because she was left alone with plants for long periods of time.

_The world maze_

After his mother encountered Devil Luna, Beowulf had been investigating a world, which much like Rangiku's world, was very death themed.

But this world, you could here about it from Death's mouth himself.

"Oh, a blond male who smelled strange?" the tall, black as shadow like...being with a white skull mask who looked and sounded like something that was far from intimidating. "Well, I did recently obtain a keishin egg soul from this smelly blond haired child abductor who stalked the Appalachian Trail...but while he may have been a human-Sasquatch hybrid and smelled like musk, jerky and really needed a shower, I doubt he's who your looking for"

"No, we're looking for a blond haired man's soul who is human, but possesses a set of powers that does not smell like they come from being the child of a god, or from being a...what do you call your minions again..."

"Weapon Miesters?"

"Yes, or Shinigami, or Velociraptor, or Jedi, or Dragon Rider..."

"Wow, you've been on a lengthy hunt for this guy. Though I don't believe Velociraptors were blond. However, I did hear something about someone like this from one of my pals on Deathbook"

"...You have a Facebook account?"

"Deathbook. The inter worldal Death God social site. One of my friends, Shinigami09, mentioned eating the soul of someone very much like your quarry, about the same time all this inter world stuff went down."

"Really!" this was the sort of break that they needed...

"Unfortunately, he didn't admit his name or world" This Death commented "He must have not wanted any pedophiles to come to his house"

"HE'S A GOD!"

"We still have kids you know. I have the most lovely son...I do hope that this world linkage doesn't kill"

"Kill?!" Beowulf wasn't liking where this was going. His mother was mostly worried about instability and inter world spread of diseases and evil, was this a confirmation?

"Oh yes. You see, the way the worlds are now connected could be compared to fault lines...on borders such as the North-South Koreas, Turkey and Armenia and any border of Israel, transplanted back in time about 65 million years. it is very likely that, the longer the worlds are stuck together, the more likely it will be that a world will one day start colliding with another. I suppose that would be pretty bad...like a big one type earthquake spread across the two respective worlds as meteors and solar flares rained down from above..."

Something on Death began vibrating, as he took out a rather large I/Death-Pad.

"Like this..." he said in a much graver voice as he showed him a video that had just been posted.

It showed two locations that the hunt for the ghost had taken them. One was a place of evil called 'Forks', filled with sparkling vampires, the other was a world filled with a bunch of people that were hyped on something called 'dragon balls'.

That vaguely sex boosting term had bothered him a lot.

However, what this video showed was one of the cracks in reality that allowed travel between them, presumably the one between those two worlds, began to pulsate and change colors to a nasty red, as both realms of existence began to shake.

Buildings and mountains collapsed, tidal waves began crashing to shore, fire rained down from the sky, and eventually there was a huge flash of light...

Leaving behind mars like landscapes of barren, lifeless rock.

Beowulf's eyes were wide in horror.

"I do believe that the countdown to the destruction of every reality in our little chain has begun" Death said very, very darkly. "Oh, how unfortunate that those murders who had been killing off denizens of the worlds like big game hunters had left one of those worlds just moments before they lost all life. They come from the same place as the ghost and could probably tell you how to get there"

Beowulf was now even more shocked to here that. Rangiku's attackers were from the same world as the Ghost, finding them could save untold hundreds of septillions of lives.

_Back in Konoha, not aware how bad things are getting, four hours in_

At Sakura's rather impressive idea, Hiko, Naruto, and the still incapacitated in the gentle fist Hinata, had managed to set up 20 cat traps baited with cat food, water and cat nip for the elusive feline, scattered all over Konoha as plan 24 involved attempting to physically chase down the cat, exhausting her.

However, the plan didn't work for a multitude of reasons. This included spite from villagers who broke their cat traps, Tora sneaking into a cat show and hiding among her tabby kind after having gotten her bows off, and said cat having managed to hide in a local consulate office for the ninja lacking Land of Waves, a local prosperous island nation for the diplomatic immunity.

Kushina, who was currently watching them from a roof top, wished she could actually give advice on this. But Sarutobi had given them very, very strict warnings about any help.

He gave that to everyone, as to prevent someone from passing a team or not because of family relations, an example being if Naruto had been on a team that succeeded but the future sensei had failed them for simple Naruto spite.

Though, as he normally came down in person if he caught you, it would seem leaving and bringing back a cat trap was in fact legal, as was leaving the training area for a wider area of Konoha.

Or was it just Tora.

As they had used teamwork in several of the attempts, in the worst case scenario she could pass them Hatake style...but that could cause some political headaches.

Speaking of which, Naruto had a huge one.

"OH DAMN IT! I WISH I COULD JUST SUMMON CATS, THEN THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH LESS OF A FUCKING PAIN!" Naruto snapped at the sky, his Rinnegan eyes briefly flashing behind his shades, as he slammed his hand into a wall.

However, in doing so black lines began to form on the wall, as a poof of smoke blew up around his arms.

As the smoke cleared, he found a very confused Tora in his arms.

"What just..."

"MRWWW!"

"AH! MY FACE!"

Kushina, who had just seen this, was rather shocked.

Could the Rinnegan be used to summon animals? She had figured out how to rob souls, and grow metallic parts...did summoning animals seem all that strange in comparison?

Well, this was a pass in her book, so she'd go save her son's face, bring them home for a good day's rest, report to the Hokage...and see if she could do that.

**Now, for an author's note.**

**This version of the Animal Path is a bit different from Canon for several reasons, namely experience and morality. What Nagato summoned were corpses of summon animals who he gave his eyes. He only summoned them and could control what he summoned by will. Naruto did a summon more involuntary, and won't be summoning corpses to fight for him. However, he also won't be all that able to control what he summons. Aside for toads and maybe Enma, he doesn't know all that many summons, so what he might be able to summon will be random. He could ask for something that flies, and get a giant flamingo, or a regular hummingbird. He could summon something that could clear a crowd: he could get a rather smelly goat, or he could summon a man eating tiger. Tell me if you think this is a good twist, or just me being an idiot.**


	27. Resolving Issues

Good...nice to see all these reviews again. I recently watched an anime, rather new with only three episodes so far, called Aoi Sekai no Chuushin de or World War Blue or something. The Anime basically has human versions of Mario, Pikachu, Link, Fem Kirby and other Nintendo characters as an evil army vs a human sonic 's homeland. It...is strange.

An assorted group of reviewers: Let me put it this way, only the worlds that Kushina accidentally put into the chain are in danger. Mysterious Power, Next Gen and your stories are perfectly safe. I'm sure Beowulf still finds the whole thing to be the end of the world.

Leaf: that all depends...

Drakefire: I'm glad to see people like my ideas, and again it would take practice

Gaiking: No deadpools were in that chapter

shadowblood blogger: To be fair, Sasuke and tobi killing off Kratos and the Shinigami corps isn't exactly helping stability

Yuri-hime: Inter worldal physics are not that well understood.

61394: Luna does have her own facebook, and no Zapdos is not captured yet

Silverstreak: They're eventually figure it out

Tidus: I'll have to think about how the limits are. I mean, any Kekkei Genkai is a huge ace in the hole, but you have to learn how to use it

Spike: I try to make my use of author appeal into something important

Robin: Hey EXE, haven't seen you in a while. Glad to see your still alive.

Niemand: In this case...our world didn't get sucked in by Kushina. The worlds that are connected to hers are merely worlds whose numbering is essentially unfindable, such as Earth 341313. As you might realize, world designations are based on dates of creation, so all the worlds that are here can not be written by me as based by the Western Calender.

Guest: I'll see what I can do

Red Neo: It solves some problems doesn't it.

And now a fan question. I know that, while games like Mario and Pokemon have their own producers, they are still centrally owned by Nintendo and can have Super Smash brothers fighting cross overs. Does Manga have anything like that? Because let's just say Naruto, Once Piece, Bleach, Soul Eater, Rosario-Vampire and Hellsing were all owned by the same company at a manga level. Could they have some sort of Manga fighting game? Could that work anywhere...because imagine the Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Staff doing a game where people can ask the big question: could Naruto beat Black*Star? Ichigo? Luffy? Goku?

You fans probably have a better grasp on the Manga industry than I do.

You know, I wasn't expecting to write this chapter as fast as I did. I had planned to go to Wonder-Con tomorrow, but it got postponed due to the bombing. Really, my first comic event, cancelled due to some coward. Really: hurricanes, Sandy Hook, and now Boston. The Northeast is getting hit hard for some reason.

_A few weeks later, in the world maze: Site B_

Some time ago, Danzo had sent ROOT Ninja after a mysterious sea monster in the south. It had slipped away, through a series of portals, first back to its home after eating half the ROOT ninjas sent after it.

Then it found itself in a world where the ultimate showdown of Spielberg's wildest dreams was to occur.

"ROOOOAARRR!"

On the edge of a paddock on the research island, a huge Tyrannosaurus Rex, and a shark of perhaps greater size, were glaring each other down.

The Shark had already eaten some mistakenly created dinosaur with a sail on its back, and now it was after seconds.

"This...is incredible! Such amazing predators...I must hunt them!"

Beowulf gave his godly mother a flat look "Your a little OCD about that, you know"

"I'm a hunting goddess, what am I supposed to do for a hobby, knit?"

"ROAARRRRR!"

As she seemed to be enjoying the scene far too much "You better not have any eggs in there, or How To Clone Dinosaur manuals"

However, the crack like portal between the world of dinosaurs and the world of the giant shark, began to glow, before it sputtered out completely.

That, while not mattering to the two titans, who were still waiting for one to make the first move, however Artemis caught sight of that one.

"It's like what you said happened to that sparkling hell..." she said in utter horror

"Yeah...and according to Death, it always will destroy two worlds. Which other world has fallen?"

_Back in Ninja World...a mission in the Land of Waves_

No, not that mission

"YOSH! GUY SENSEI! I HAVE TAKEN OUT FIVE BANDITS! IF I CAN NOT TAKE OUT FIVE...YOSH FOUR MORE I WILL RUN FIVE HUNDRED LAPS ALONG THE GREAT BRIDGE'S UNDERSIDE!"

"HOW YOUTHFUL LEE!"

Tenten was perhaps the most...grounded members of the team, considering that Lee was...Lee, Guy was...Guy and Yakumo had been a huge introvert...until she spent far too much time with those two.

The Hokage had given Guy the responsibility of Yakumo because he figured that his determination and energy would be the best for the poor girl, and the formerly physically handicapped artist was now energetic, athletic and was probably the reason the youth's hugs seemed like some sort of Sunset Genjutsu.

However, she did have her kinks...like ultra cool weapons like the ones she had found just earlier this morning after some strange light show.

A pair of twin swords, with chains on them. They glowed like the weapons of gods and terrified animals, particularly creatures such as Horses, Eagles and Peacocks.*

"AHHHH!"

And gutted bandits very effectively.

_Back in Konoha_

However, while last years genin team got to fight bandits...

"Torra duty...again!?"

Hinata sighed in shared displeasure, for all five of them echoed the eternal sentiment of Konoha Genin since the age of Madara. "No one else will touch it, and would you rather attempt missions with the various civilians who will attempt to get you to dig for potatoes in the wrong place and get arrested for attempted sabotage of the Konoha electric grid?"

Again

"...Point taken" Naruto sighed in defeat as they snuck off, into a remote area where no one would notice Naruto with super eyes, like Training Ground 14.

"Okay, TORRA TO ME!" Naruto slammed his hand into the ground, as a poof of smoke rose up in a huge plume.

As it retracted...the cat was a bit too big

"ROAR!"

They recalled that Torra did in fact mean Tiger.

"I got this..."

"Wait, Naruto-ku...kun, Tiger's are en...endangered" Hiko whimpered weakly.

"ROAR!"

"AHHH! OT THE FACE!"

The animal summoning still needed work, it was very easy to make a mistake. Of the three times previously he had to capture Tora, the second time he had gotten some cereal tiger first.

Tasty cereal, but sadly they didn't sell cereal in Konoha.

_Hours later_

"OH TORA-TAN! MUMMY LOVES YOU!"

"Mrrowwwww"

The sound of a cat wanting to commit suicide ringed the missions depot as Naruto loosing any love for cats, seeing as he had by mistake summoned a tiger straight from the Sunderbands from a connected world.

They had eventually figured out how to manually de summon something, or at least one method. Normally a summon would de summon him or herself, however the Tiger came from a non sentient tiger world, so they had to make it go away automatically, by hitting it with a fireball.

While they were trying not to be kitty food, they found Tora hiding in a tree hollow, with a Cat Fancy.

"Ah, excellent Team 7. 50,000 Ryo have been transfered to your families combined account" D rank missions were worth anywhere between 5,000 and 50,000 Ryo, and considering how Torra was, only the maximum possible pay would make people want to do it.

"Now, considering it is still light out..."

"Hokage-Sama...we've found that most of the other D rank missions offered, are not really tolerant of us." Kushina said with great annoyance.

The Hokage sighed "Pity. There are far too many D rank missions available. I did always hope that Naruto could use his shadow clones to cut the mission number in half, but I suppose all the attempts from the civilians would make it more trouble than a few thousand ryo a piece is worth..."

That actually gave him an idea

"See me tomorrow, and both of our problems should be solved" he dismissed them as he seemed to be brainstorming.

_Meanwhile, at Casa de Uzumaki_

Most parents of teenagers would fear entering their children's rooms uninvited, in fear of seeing playboy magazines or single self pleasuring.

Kushina was of a rare breed who knew that lust would be far from her son's willing mind.

When she crossed into her son's room, he didn't look at her.

"..."

"Look Naruto, I know your still, looking at me like I'm some sort of filth" Kushina began

"..."

"And I really do appreciate that you haven't shown it too publicly...your far more controlled than I was your age, but this needs to stop"

"..."

"That came out so better in my head" Kushina muttered to herself "Look, I know that it came out in the worse way possible, but can you at least talk to me?"

"...If I have to..."

Kushina smiled, it was a start.

_Tomorrow: a gathering of the Konohanians_

With every civilian and ninja who was not doing something vital: doctors in mid surgery, gate guard, ect, and even they would be informed after the meeting was over, Sarutobi coughed.

"This is an announcement for all services provided by Konoha ninja in the borders of the village. As of now, shadow clones of an ANBU officer" chosen by him for being impartial "Shall be monitoring all interactions done under payment between ninja and civilians. Illegal activities resulting as such, shall be given a zero tolerance policy"

The D rankers who were plotting to get Naruto arrested paled, as did Ninja pimps and other activities. After all, it wasn't just with Naruto that there was illegal action between Ninja and Civilian.

Things were certainly changing now.

In other news, today Team 7 would pull off approximately 20 missions.

**Omake**

**Canon**

**The Aftermath of Spielberg war**

"Hammond, I have told you this a hundred times...but you, are, an, idiot!"

"Oh come on Muldoon" an old man with a cane, topped in a circular piece of amber, laughing commented to the middle aged khaki wearing, gunt toting hunter. "This creature is a perfect example of a Megladon. The public will love it. We can put it in that Lagoon in the center of the park with the salt lake. The fish from the Baronyx's paddock that it doesn't eat will keep it fed. We can have a sky tour over the lake. And best of all, we don't even have to clone it"

"The damn thing attempted to EAT the Tyranosaurus. If it wasn't for the fact that I was in the area and had the tranquilizer on me I was intending to use on the Sauropod with the bad foot, we'd need a new Rex!"

"Oh come on Muldoon, you always complain about the dinosaurs. 'We don't know anything about them'. 'They are totally alien'. 'They seem to be plotting to escape' and all those little paranoid things you say. People know how to deal with sharks...it's perfectly safe"

Of course, as Hammond was being a bit of an idiot, the two failed to see that a loose Velociraptor, which was not supposed to be out in the now opened park, was running by the lakeside, lunged at by the very large shark, grabbing its leg and dragging it to its watery, toothy grave

*** To be specific, the two worlds gone today are the world of Jaws and the world of God of War. Yes, Tenten got the Blades of Athena, seeing as the dead Kratos won't be getting out of Hades this time...unless I retcon it. Quake in terror.**


	28. The Arrival of a Monster

Akuma: I don't like incest. If I ever wrote a story where Naruto, Harry or some other orphan ends up dating his sister by mistake, I might play with that for drama. But...if I want inbreeding I can go and use it as a punch line with Harry when the purebloods are acting up

Man who is called Archmage at times; I've seen the ads...I also like legitimacy. That site just doesn't feel right to me

Leaf: the chapter was needed to resolve Kushina and Naruto's argument for plot reasons, and to deal with a problem that has been known to appear in Naruto Fanfiction. Also, as the blades are not Ares's, and Tenten isn't a broken shell of a demigod man, she can't use them for that purpose

Spike: I like trying to upgrade characters powers. Neji has used turtles to turn the Rotation into a twister: Sasuke has used the shadows of the dancing leaf for Chidori purposes and Ice relase Naruto has on occassion combined the ice mirror, clones and the Rasengan for devestation.

ShadowbloodHinafan: With his mother mainly, and while I do write him closer to canon than some other harem writers may, he is capable of being that way in canon. In my worlds: polygamy isn't free. It comes with destroyed timelines, forced laws, loss of humanity, evil chips and it isn't a world where you it is easy.

_The Morning: The Uzumaki home_

"...Yokai have been part of the legends of all nations since the very earliest times. What these creatures were, is something modern archeologists are still trying to determine in ruins scattered all over our world. Were Yokai figments of the imagination, born of an age without science? Could they have been proto Shinobi, whose chakra powers were uncontrollable and created physical barriers from society? Or, did we once share this world with other, sentient races who have since vanished..."

"Why do you have it on the Documentary Channel, Sakura?"

"Because I find it interesting, and what would you rather be watching Naruto? Is the Food Channel doing a documentary on the history of Ramen?"

"...Maybe"

"...Some Yokai are more easy to rule out than others. While the chakra present in humans and animals allows for investigation of the proto shinobi theory, Tsukumogami, or living items, were most certainly an explanation for why items would go missing..."

"Say, Naruto...can you talk to the Fox?" Sakura asked out of nowhere.

"...If I did, would it have been a surprise to find out I had it in me?" Naruto pointed out.

"...Do you think you can talk to the Fox. I mean, maybe...er what gender would it be?"

"Hopefully Male. I have...enough problems" he and Sakura blushed "without a female inside me. Especially seeing as Kitsune..."

"...Are known for being lovable sex maniacs. The Kitsune..."

"Man, that T.V program seemed to be too accurate" Naruto muttered. "It's like it was talking to me..."

"Don't know about that, but I am"

In an exited motion, Naruto and Sakura turned rapidly to see a large white haired man sitting in their window.

"Naruto, your Godfather is back! And he's brought presents!"

_A short time later_

"...Where did the kids get off to?" Mikoto wasn't sure she liked how quiet it was. The team was taking a day off for Hitomi and Hinata's sake: today was Hiashi's birthday and the two needed some alone time, so it was just Naruto, Sakura and Hiko at the house.

"Oh, they must be looking at some of the presents I brought back: some books on foreign lands, a couple of action figures, this rather popular drink from the Land of Lightning called 'Monster' this rapper guy endorsed...you know kids."

He wasn't going to mention the confidential intel he found out, or the new Icha Icha novel he had sent to the editor after

"A drink called Monster?" Kushina wasn't sure she liked it.

"I'm sure it's just a catchy name: what's the worse it could do? Now, did anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

Kushina paled, this was not going to be fun.

_Meanwhile in mission control_

"MISSION! MISSION! MISSION!"

"..Take them...take them and leave me alone you wild animals!" a terrified chunnin whimpered, scared of loosing a hand

_Naruto, Sakura and Hiko demonstrating why Ninja Monster is bad_

"WHAT! I LEAVE MY GODSON ALONE FOR TWO MONTHS, AND I COME HOME TO FIND HIM WITH THE RINNEGAN, AND THREE GIRLS! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING!?"

Kushina looked away, a mixture of feelings bubbling.

"Considering we were at the time, removing several years of pent up lust, we pretty much stopping another sort of problem from coming up. We had no reason to believe that Mezuki was plotting to capture our children...who do you think we are, Danzo?"

"I'd hope not. Danzo doesn't have breasts...at least I don't think so...wait a minute, were you trying to appeal to my sense of humor!"

Damn Uchiha mind tricks...even without genjutsu they were a pain.

"Tell me why I shouldn't remove Naruto from this place. As Godfather after all, I have rights!"

"YOU CAN'T!" Kushina told him very severely

"Oh, can I? I've escaped the boundaries of Iwa, outraced the sands of the Shukaku, and survived peeping on Tsunade. For all you know, I have Naruto right now and I'm merely a shadow clone."

A pillow smacked him in the face, courtesy of Kushina.

"That was a figure of speech, no need to find out if I am actually a clone" Jiraiya coughed up a feather somewhat comically. "Look, I know the Rinnegan is not controllable in that way. I know that you did not lock up Naruto, Hinata, Hiko and Sakura in a room, alone, with no clothing after dosing their food with Viagra. If Naruto and said trio of girls were 16 when this happened, I would not be having a hissy fit. In fact, I'd probably be talking to them via a shadow clone, with a note pad. However, I take my job as godfather seriously. I may not be able to constantly harass him, but that isn't in the Godfather job description. Looking out for him, in case of parent death, or parent idiocy, is in the description."

"...But, considering that all my assignments are up, all the villages within my spy network are currently on high alert for spies after some Grass flunky slipped up big time in Iwa, and the fact that I need to deal with some of my insurance claims, I can deal with staying here, and keeping an eye on my godson. So, do you got a spare room"

The pillow to the face answered that question

_A few minutes later, Hokage's office_

The Hokage, after having taken a break to go walk in one of the local parks, returned to his office, expecting to find paper work.

Instead, he found all the non mourning genin of team 7 passed out on his desk. On top of their bodies was a note.

_PLEASE! THEY KEEP TAKING MISSIONS WHILE TALKING AT IT LIKE WOODPECKER CHIPMUNKS! MAKE THEM GO AWAY! PLEASE!_

Hiruzen frowned, he didn't know why, but he knew this was Jiraiya's fault. He was going to have something to the list of things banned from the village.

_Elsewhere_

In the village of Takigakure, there existed a grand hate.

A hate for the representative of the greatest tragedy to ever befall the village, whose death toll had rendered the village a minor power, as oppose to the regional power it had once been, a village who had taken the name of Kage for itself, even if no one else would recognize them for it.

The hate for the host of the vicious monster, the Nanabi.

The hate for it's Jinchuriki

The hate of Fu.

Ever since the young girl had been born, she had been the target of many hate crimes, attempted murders and in general utter disregard for her humanity.

However, at least one man in the village did happen to realize that such treatment of the sole thing in the village that kept the Nanabi from escaping and destroying them utterly, for the whole locking it up inside a small girl thing. The head of the village kept her alive, aided by the fact that Takigakure was far more along the lines of a full out dictatorship when compared to the somewhat democratic Konoha.

Of course, while the aging leader could not be everywhere at once, he did find someone who could, someone whose loyalty to him was absolute, and without the prior hate.

He found that when he was on the way back from a meeting with the Mizukage.

"...Fu-Sama, your presence is requested by the Takikage" a rather tall, somewhat 15 year old female bowed in respect to the white wearing, brown skinned and green haired Jinchuriki, of about 13.

"Do I have a choice at all?" the girl said in a very bland tone of voice.

"...As a tool of the Waterfall, I can not say. However, I would suggest that you don't, considering that Takikage-sama pays for your food"

"...Tools don't have sarcasm, Haku"

**Omake**

**Non Canon**

**Team up**

Kushina Uzumaki was a red haired mother who died to save her son in most universes. She was a beauty, and while her son took after his father in appearance, he was mostly her in the eyes, and in personality.

And in the span of worlds, there was someone very similar to her.

A red head about her age, dressed in western styles with shorter hair and brilliant green eyes was having lunch with Kushina at CrossoverpairingLover studios: Lily Potter.

"It really is amazing how similar we are, particularly in death" Lily commented.

"It really is. If you had Chakra, I'd have to see if you were a member of the Uzumaki family"

"Still, it's sort of interesting how our sons are so different. Harry's an Introvert, while Naruto..."

"I'M GOING BE HOKAGE BLACK*STAR! YOU CAN"T BEAT ME!"

"OH YEAH, WELL I'M GOING TO SURPASS GOD!"

"...is very much an extrovert"

"Perhaps it is just the fact I'm an anime character, and the way our emotions are displayed is differently than how a literature character like you or Harry would show them. Or perhaps nature does beat out nurture sometimes" Kushina offered "So, you hear about that story idea rumor?"

"The Succubus one? Didn't the rights go to BrownPhantom Studios?"

"That was Challenge 8. This one is different. It's a concept where you and I end up as succubus, and who knows who else if they get the contracts: Sally Jackson, Selena, Ursa, Kya, all the greatest mothers who may or may not be dead"

"Succubus..." Lily looked down at her body "...I don't look the part"

"Oh, CGI can fix that!"

"...Does that count as sexual harassment?"

"Only if they create Computer Generated Sex Imagery. Like that time that Snape fan girl..."

"Please don't" Lily was green in the face. "Never again, I've been in too much therapy over that as it is"


	29. Northern Land of Fire part 1

Many: Naruto and Monster just seemed to be a perfect comedic combination

Shadowbloodedge: Depends on what you mean by with

61394: It was focusing on Japanese Yokai,I was in a Youkai mood

Leaf: Omakes are meant to be comedic

Dead World Count: Twilight, Dragon Ball, Jaws, God of War

_The day after the last, Konoha_

The next day had just the girls on missions: Jiraiya was filling his job as godfather and teaching Naruto how to call back his summons. The others D mission ended up being putting up posters about the Hokage's new ban on Monster, something about it hypercharging people with chakra.

This day had the full group up, as the Hokage coughed.

"Well, seeing as the D missions took a large decline in numbers, and also considering your large resume of completed D ranks, I have decided to give you all a easy C rank mission. Assuming that you all don't do something stupid and you don't share Tsunade's luck, it should be rather uneventful"

"Ah man..."

"Naruto, do you want to take the D rank mission that states 'remove leeches from Konoha sewer system'?"

"Boring it is, Believe it...sorry" he muttered the last part quietly.

"Believe me, if I got annoyed at personality quirks, I'd have to fire half of the Jonnin" Sarutobi said in good nature "Now, your mission will be to transport these fliers advertising Konoha's non...underhanded services' escorts, security, ect to the Northern Land of Fire. With the ongoing, distrust, between myself and the Daimyo, such business has been in decline for years: such a loss of business has been slow but then again, so are most cancers. Kushina, with your ability with seals, you can seal off a large amount of posters into scrolls to maximize our effectiveness. I'd also suggest you take Mikoto and Hitomi with you as well..."

"Why Hokage-Sama?" Kushina asked in confusion. Normally he preferred to have at least one of them in Konoha, in a bit of deserved paranoia due to the rarity of their Dojutsus.

"Because the last siting of Orochimaru, if 3 years ago, took place near the Land of Fire's border with the Land of Rice Paddies. You don't become Hokage without having a healthy level of paranoia"

_Takigakure_

"You want us to do what!" Fu demanded in utter shock as Haku sighed, wishing she was less obvious with her dislike of the idea.

The Takikage, who was a graying old man who probably would not be recognized for his power on a random street, muttered some curse.

"I'll say it again. Takigakure needs serious monies, after the previous robbery of 60% of our reserve funds. Our missions will only stave off total shutdown for a few months at most. To restore our village, we need a huge burst of cash, which the Daimyo will not give us. Our insurance company is also refusing to aide us. Our only option, is to capture someone whose bounty will single handily bail us out. You shall enter the northern area of the Land of Fire, and both of your unique situations: a Jinchuriki and the last bearer of the Ice Release Kekkei Genkai, will draw out our target, and after that the full force of Taki will join you to take down...Orochimaru"

"Orochimaru? As in, the Sannin who went rogue from Konoha?" Haku questioned.

"The very same. The Snake Summoner, the Swordsman of the Kusanagi, The Collector of Kekkei Genkais, the Second Greatest Traitor in Konoha history" bar Madara Uchiha "Luring him out is something that you two can do, particularly well"

"Because we're rare?" Fu said in a dull tone "One of a kind Jinchuriki and last of her kind Yuki?"

"No, because you both can pass off as young males, if the rumors are true, this will be extra enticement to lure the snake from whatever burrow he's hidden himself in"

At that very, very calmly said response, both of the females paled. They were going to be pedo-bait.

_Northern Land of Fire, a day later_

The Northern Land of Fire was a cooler area of the country, with wider spaced trees of less tropical varieties then it's southern end. In fact, if one came from another area of the country, it could be compared to the North Eastern United States in a near permanent summer.*

Along its towns and it's sole major city, home to unique little touches like parks in the center, or greens as they were called, sit in restaurants and gift shops with post cards featuring the local landmarks: the Valley of the End, the Great Inland Sea the locals fished from with conservatism not normally seen in this land, and the world's greatest university for math and other non ninja related careers, the seven member team wandered down the cobblestone streets, noticing with some trepidation that the city, just as the northern towns they had passed through, all had groups of soldiers from the non shinobi Land of Fire army all over the town, and how the local civilians did not like them at all.

"I've heard that this part of the country is a rather liberal area, with a sizable atheist minority" Sakura commented as they past their fifth pair of soldiers "Apparently the Daimyo expects this area to rebel or something"

Mikoto frowned "He may justify them as border security, but I doubt that anyone here buys that."

"Well, at least they won't have any reason not to pay a group that is at odds with the Daiymo then" Hinata commented as she held up a scroll "So, where should we start?"

"W...wherever there aren't soldiers" Hiko squeaked.

_5 minutes later_

The group of seven split up into two teams of two and a team of three, to cover a wider ground with posters without being too easy a target for the soldiers, whose distrust was earned early on by an attempted rape in a village by a soldier that spread by horseback across the territory.

Naruto, Sakura and Kushina found themselves on the docks of the Great Inland Sea, at the end of the regional capital of the Northern Land of Fire. The area, mostly surrounded by great rocky expanses, was only open at the port. The only place where boast could get into the lake.

The port was where many of the non-educated city folk worked: unloading the fishing boats of their live capture of various fish species, many only found in this land locked area, an area that had been cut off from the main area of the ocean in a time before the Kyuubi.

At different times of the year, one could find clams being unloaded, or Lobster, Cod, Salmon, or a variety of others. At the moment, however...there was only unrest being unloaded at this dock.

"By the Authority of the Daimyo, you will let us through!" a group of soldiers with a motor boat and a large assortment of fish killing nets and harpoons "The Daimyo desires Caviar!"

"And I'll tell you this once more" a grizzly old man who had a strange accent snapped as a trio of large men glared with him "We do not hunt Sturgeon! They are a vital part of our ecosystem and the health of our main food source, and frankly we don't like the eggs. Clam Chowder is better. The Governor has not lifted the ban on Sturgeon poaching"

"The Daimyo over rules your local Shogun!"

"We don't like that term... Governor is better. Well, bring him up here to our lovely little Hub here, and we'll discuss it with him!"

"They talk weird" Naruto commented to his mother as the exchange continued.

"I was always told that this area of the country had a unique accent" Kushina commented "It was its own country before Konoha was founded, and joined because, if you believe the locals, their Daimyo ended up drunk. But the old people of The Land of the Inland Sea never gave up their independent spirit."

The Hokage didn't say this officially, but last night Kushina, Mikoto and Hitomi had discussed why they were sent to this area for their mission.

Hiruzen was fishing for sympathetic areas in case of the worst case scenario of his continued chafing with the Daimyo, of a civil war.

"So, these fliers won't hang themselves...well the seals are better and longer lasting than tape or glue, but hands are needed to apply them to walls"

_Land of Demons_

Shion, the Hinata body typed, if more arrogant and socially distant priestess, walked up to the border of the temple where the demon Moryo had been sealed. Behind her, was the huge army of soldiers that had escorted her, including the horse drawn carriage that had brought her the distance.

A creature capable of fighting the 10 tails, it was an abomination of all life.

Closing her eyes, Shion opened them with a inhuman glow, as her Future Telling began reading the inner nature of the temple.

However, the girl retracting her extra sight with the frightened scream of a thousand terrified girls.

"Priestess Shion!?" one of her guards asked in great concern.

"It's loose..." Shion said as if in a trance "Moryo is loose, and has been for perhaps..."

"How long, Priestess" another asked as she lost her voice in horror.

"...Over a decade..." the girl was horrified

*** If you guys think that I am channeling my home region into a Japanese world for utterly no reason...well consider this. It was the first area to rebel in the Revolution, and it considered doing so again in the early 1800's. For all we know, the Daimyo is named George, or the South has too much power.**

**And now, for my newest challenged**

**Omake**

**Promo**

**Challenge 33: Succubus Queens**

Back in challenge 8 (Ai Yokai of Brown Phantom), I asked to see Kushina as a succubus.

But, there are more females available for such a change than just Naruto's mum.

Like Lily Potter for example. She, Kushina and other mothers who die, or die just for the story, are being stolen at death by the Succubus queen of the realm of mythical beings, attempts to bolster the dying succubus race with fertile members.

They don't like it, escape, and eventually overthrow the inbred (Pureblood) succubus, but find that for every day they had been in the realm of mythical beings, two days passed on their homeworlds.

Not to mention, the fact that their sons and daughters end up turning into incubus or succubus if they are in proximity to their mothers for extended periods of time

_1: At the moment of death, each mother is stolen from her world. If they don't normally die, they have to die when their child is very young age. After which, they are turned into Succubus and intended as baby factories, but escape_

_2: Succubus have several abilities. They have wings, sharp claws, tails, the ability to enter dreams and a metaphysical connection to their children that allows them to sense if they are in pain or distress, even when across worlds. The transformation also includes any powers they might have had prior to death, but enhanced and changed._

_3: The worlds here exist on a series of rings. The world of mythical beings (inhabited by creatures like Succubus, Vampires, Satyrs, Nymphs, Fairies, Yuki-Onna, Kitsunes, ect) exists on a separate ring than worlds where Lily, Kushina or the other hail from._

_4: Kushina and Lily are required. You can use others like Sally Jackson (mom of Percy Jackson), Masaki Kurosaki (Mother of Icihgo Kurosaki), Selena (mother of Eragon and Murtagh) Kya (mom of Sokka and Katara) or whoever else._

_5: Succubus are extremely close to their children. Their powerful bond to any child they birthed is the cause of it. Having children alive lessens their libido and gives them control of their fertility. Due to this, some Incubus behave like male lions or bears and would actively want to kill them._

_6: Due to this connection, incest is impossible. However, this connection can also cause inncubus mutation._

_7: Do not bash Sirius, Remus, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Hiruzen, Jiraiya, Tsunade, Hinata, Sakura or Iruka._

_8: When Naruto, Harry and who ever else become incubus or succubus, they end up with harems of whatever gender percentages you want. (If you really think Harry is Bisexual, go ahead. I'd prefer you did't, but considering I see Eragon as BI...I have some leeway). You can create OC extra siblings for Naruto, Harry or whoever, but no sibling incest. Naruto must have either Hinata or Sakura, and Harry must have either Ginny, Luna or Hermione._

_9: How Lily, Kushina or others behave sexually is up to you. Lesbian orgies, one night stands, OC lovers...just develop it decently._

Beware the angry mother


	30. Northern Land of Fire part 2, the last

Well...sometimes new ideas work, sometimes they don't. And to add to it, my computer's cooling system is glitching. Have no idea how long it will be out...well your find out I guess. This story...well I can't ever have good ideas in it, can I?

Oh, and any of you see that whole, Lee special? It is sort of creepy, with it's rather blatant shipping of two characters, or to be more specific, one character lusting after another, who is genetically his half sister...Nejihina.

And GRRR! I HAD A LOT DONE, THEN THE INTERNET ACTED UP AND I ACCIDENTALLY OVER COPIED! Then, when I was trying to write more, I ended up hitting the back button! I will officially find out where you live and find your room to haunt you if this doesn't get some reviews.

Shadowblood: He has a similar esc story, but hopefully he'll help advertise what is coming.

Leaf: Er, more or less it is a fictional version of Massachussets, Connecticut and New York City. We don't have rays. Also, don't forget the guy has a lot of security around him, and he expects it.

Destroyed worlds: Dragon Ball, Twilight, Jaws, God of War

_In the North_

Seals indigenous to the inland sea dove into the water in a fright, as the great thunder bird that had put Danzo in the hospital for electrical burns crossed over.

The drunk sailors who happened to be fishing beneath the bird, well there was a reason the boats of the North had these revolutionary things called 'guard rails'.

The bird flew over the expanse of water, coming over the surrounding rocks, aiming to return home from the portal it had came. After all, it was not a dumb bird, it had the intelligence of a human, combined with the bird families natural magnetic sensors.

However, it still possessed enhanced senses, and it avoided the fate of the fishing boat as a dark purple serpent, with glowing red demonic eyes rose up from the sea's depths to try and eat it.

The Legendary Pokemon glared down at the native Demon who was not connected to the 10 tails, as it hissed in a matter that would have made Orochimaru, Voldemort and Medusa envious.

Zapdos began to glow electric yellow, as a dark ball of energy, similar to that of a tailed beast ball, formed in the mouth of Moryo, as the two entities clashed.

_Meanwhile outside my omake material_

Hinata and Hitomi were in a local fish market, an obsession with fish being one of the few things that this area of the Land of Fire shared with the remainder of the nation (In real life, both Japan and New England eat a lot of fish. We have all the Ivy League colleges for a reason after all), putting up posters as they heard snippets of conversation

"Have you seen the size of that Haddock?. It could eat my dog..."

"...Damn taxes went up again. Whatever happened to taxation with representation?"

"I've heard that the soldiers were harassing college students over at the University of Fisheries...we're the most educated area of the land of fire, do they hate us for that..."

"What's college?" Hinata asked her mother, who frowned.

"Something most Ninja don't go to" Hitomi explained "It's a place of higher education, where you find out exactly why 2 plus 2 equals 4"

"...People wonder that?" Hinata had to ask in confusion.

"Hinata-Chan, as Ninja we live in a different world then these merchants and fisherman. We learn Ninjutsu, they learn how to create electricity for power stations. Our two worlds, they use each other, but are not all that dependent. They don't need assassins, we don't actually need electricity to be ninja. However, they benefit from protection jobs, and we benefit in architecture."

The clans, outside of the Senju and Aburame, didn't build their homes by themselves after all. Of course, those clans had the power to grow their own houses, or command termites.

_In town_

Naruto, Kushina and Sakura had left the docks as the soldiers kept massing there, due to their fight over sturgeon fishing rights, and considering that Mikoto and Hiko were postering uptown, and Hitomi was in midtown with Hinata, they were going to get downtown.

The trio was now in one of the town's downtown greens/parks, at a large proclamation board, covered with various proclamations from the Daimyo.

The huge amount of graffiti and vague smell of excrement around it was probably intentional.

"Ew...I don't want to know what that smell is..." Sakura complained as Kushina shifted her body to cover up a swearword that was rather new to the children, but she did make note of it for her own later use.

However, there was one flier that did not contribute to the mass authority dissing, and rhyming words to dissing, around the board.

Kushina ripped it off with a frown.

"Oh boy..."

_Later at a hotel_

Mikoto gave the flier a hard read "The Village hidden in the Sound?"

"Otogakure no Sato..." Kushina added "Rather strange name. Even Kusagakure, the Village hidden in the Stars, makes sense: they have that meteor and all. But Otogakure?"

"What, is there some singing tree in the center?" Mikoto suggested

"...That would sort of be counter productive to a 'hidden village'" Hitomi pointed out.

"To be fair, how many villages are really hidden? Giant monuments, outlandish designs, oversized trees...but the themeing seems to be lacking" Kushina played the devil's advocate.

Most villages were in a economic down turn after the last war, the five great villages being general exceptions. This meant that minor villages, like Kusa and Hoshi, were economically downturning. In fact, some had actually gone out of the ninja business, such as the village in the Land of Hot Springs.

One of the few small villages to retain economic strength and growth was Amegakure, because Pain kept a very strict economic monopoly of ninja activity. Any Ame resident who attempted to contract another shinobi village, aside for certain circumstances (he let a man go when he hired Konoha ninja, when a group of bandits known for rape kidnapped his daughter, for instance) were put to death publically.

Mikoto read off the big phrase embellished on the note adorned paper "Otogakure no Sato, the Village Hidden in the Sound. Located in the Land of Rice Paddies, closer to you than far off Konoha, we do all missions for half the going price of Konoha"

"Half the price?" Kushina commented "must be a quarter of the quality"

Just like ramen.

"Still, we only found one poster, maybe there was only one" Hitomi offered.

"Or, perhaps they were there for so long that this was the last one hanging" Kushina said darkly.

_Konoha, some time later_

The mission was over soon enough. The posters were hung, and no other Oto posters were found. Also, if one had the blood of Deadpool or Joker, you would know that no one really liked it so it was best to start over and avoid the plot tar pit.

"So, the North is turning into a ticking time bomb of rebellion, and there is a new village...a bit too close to Orochimaru's last scene location" a free agent like Orochimaru could turn even the Haze village into a serious power.

The Hokage took a long puff of his pipe "You did an excellent job on your C-Rank mission. Your pay has been allotted to you, and please do take a shower or something"

Naruto discreetly sniffed himself as Sakura and Hiko stepped a bit upwind.

As the family left, the Hokage felt a presence.

"Danzo"

"Hiruzen" the still recovering cripple after his mysterious electrocution incident noted "I hope your seeing the signs too?"

"That the Land of Fire is nearing a civil war...I'm pretty sure even Tsunade, in her drunkedness, sees it"

"The question is, old friend, does your 'Will of Fire' set the conflict ablaze, or does it stay contained like a lamp?"

"Do you ask me this question now, or in a few years, when we have a chunnin, at least, Hyuga, Uchiha and Jinchuriki added to our forces, or now, when they are still Genin?"

"18 was once the life expectancy of ninja" Danzo pointed out "Children can fight"

"Considering a civil war between myself, with the North perhaps on my side, against the rest of the Land of Fire is probably enough to begin the Fourth Great Ninja World War, I'd prefer quality over quantity. Of the clans we had, only Fugaku and Tsume had more than one child. This comparative impotence...I hope I am not the only one who finds it concerning. I don't want to try the CRA Card because right now it is more important to have Kushina, Hitomi and Mikoto teaching the next generation than creating it" possible psychological affects aside. The last thing he wanted was exposing the Rinnegan, or making the Uzumaki house such a sex filled place it could have serious problems for Naruto and company, like creating serial killers for instance.

"Then, perhaps Hiruzen, it is time you use that card for a different hand. There is more than one way to spin the CRA" Danzo had a grin that really put it to perspective he once played the God of Death in a play.

_Out in the expanse_

Beowulf was wandering the expanse of worlds in search of the ghost in the world of giant robots who lived around Portland. He had gotten intelligence of a portal to a new world was located here, along a dam.

The great concrete structure, holding back millions of gallons of water, was framed by mountains, and had been attacked by giant robots in the past. Yet somehow, the crack like portal that glowed just below the surface was still visible.

"How in Hades did she get in that one...was there some sort of drought?" He asked himself as he saw something burst though it and surface.

It was a brown beaver, that seemed to be slightly anthro. It had a round, red nose.

"HELP! A GIANT PURPLE SNAKE THING NAMED MORYO ATE MY BROTHER!" said beaver shouted in a distinctive, male voice "IT ATE NORBBY!"

The portal that the beaver had just swam through turned a apocalyptic red, and imploded.

"This is Beowulf..." he tapped a ear bud in his ear "we just had a third world death pair. Home, please respond"

"This is Phoebe" a hunter responded 40 seconds later over the radio link, faint but then again, their signal boosters they had set up had to pump the signal through the maze of portals weren't state of the art "Our world is still alive."

"What world is gone though? A world with some annoying Beaver just bit the dust..."

"HEY! THAT MAKES ME ANGRY! I AM NOT ANNOYING!"

"...The seagull world, you know, MINE MINE MINE, it's signal booster just went offline" Phoebe reported.

"...That ghost has to be found, but I did here something...interesting. A name of a monstrous serpent that might be connected. Something called, Moryo."

**Omake**

**Canon**

**BATTLE! ZAPDOS VS MORYO**

ZAPDOS USED THUNDER!

MORYO USED HYPER BEAM!

(Insert low health annoying noise that all Pokemon fans cringe at)

ZAPDOS USED ANCIENT POWER!

MORYO MUST RECHARGE!

ZAPDOS USED DETECT!

MORYO USED HYPER BEAM!

ZAPDOS PROTECTED ITSELF!

ZAPDOS RETURN! GO GET THEM, TRAVELING CLAN OF SHINOBI!

MORYO USED CRUNCH!

CRITICAL HIT!

THE TRAVELING CLAN OF SHINOBI IS NOW BEING ABSORBED BY THE DEMON!


	31. Back in Konoha: dreams and plannings

Yuri: Why does everyone think I either write crack, or I am on crack?

61394: Good point there.

Shadow: His 'scheme' is to help Konoha. The guy is more or less Naruto's Nick Fury if you ask me...a spy who is a bit too paranoid. He is not attempting to take over Konoha.

Leaf: I had to blow something up, and I felt like making a beaver cameo

Tsukoyomi11: My writing does, possibly, occasionally color itself like crack, though it is never intentional. My humor is just weird

While I steam a bit about being called a crack writer...mind voting on the new poll?

Destroyed Worlds: Dragon Ball Z, Twilight, Jaws, God of War, Angry Beavers, Finding Nemo

_Taki_

"You failed" the Takikage said gravely as the two kunoichi, who could pull off the boy look, frowned

"Unfortunately, Orochimaru nor anyone aligned with him seemed to notice us. Also unfortunately, the last Hyuga Jonnin was in the area, and her Byukugan would have flared up in an instant if she had even gotten a glance at me...who carries more chakra than all but maybe a half dozen people" Fu pointed out "By the time they were gone, a large force of Land of Fire soldiers were marshaling in. They were also on alert for anyone with chakra."

"Whether or not they could pick that up, is unknown" Haku continued "While it is possible to make mobile seals based off the ones that hang in the Daimyo halls of most nations to detect chakra users, the Fire Daimyo is not known to be crafty like that. Also, as we gathered from some intelligence gathering, the last appearance by anyone for a 'Sound' village, as it seemed to be connected to the area where Orochimaru was last known to be, was before the soldiers came."

"True, the Fire Daiymo would not be able to create such seals, or really employ anyone of that level of skill" the Takikage noted "A Uzumaki, or Jiraiya of the Sannin, could perhaps manage it. However, most Uzumaki are dead, and the two known ones, and said Sannin, are on the side of the Hokage. This is concerning..."

"However, we did manage to sneak into a soldiers encampment and pilfer approximately 10,000 ryo in extortion money" Haku held up a purse "It's not the total we need..."

"Considering the circumstances, I can't really say it's not a light in a dark tunnel" the Takikage sighed "While it would have been a remote possibility the snake would have shown, it is actually more cost effective to have you two back. A mission has come up to obtain some classified information. Haku, this is indeed your department, your ice mirrors and all that...and we can't really leave you alone, can we" he told Fu as she looked away "So, get ready to head out as soon as possible. The Land of Nerds isn't going to steal it's own secrets"

_Konoha, at night_

Naruto had fallen asleep after Hinata noted that he 'was restless'.

Whoever said sex was great...never had to do it or risk unspeakable crimes in a frenzied state.

Sure, it felt nice, but the whole taste of it was really not remarkable to him.

However, while most people would write someone who had just had a extensive sex session either find themselves deep in the realm of dreams, or in a dreamless sleep.

Naruto instead found himself in a dark cave, filled with ghostly images.

'What happened to us...' a pale man who sparkled faintly said in a voice that seemed to be from far away

'Where are we?' said some giant rodent with a flat tail

'Not mine!' a seagull called, before hundreds of purple snake like heads burst out of the ground all around him...

"AHHHHH!"

Naruto burst out of of his bed, bare chested and panting in shock, before he looked around the room.

It was his own: no sparkles, no sea gulls, no evil snake heads, just a rather annoyed looking Hinata next to him.

"What is it Naruto-kun" Hinata asked as she rubbed some sleep out of her eyes.

"...Nightmare" he admitted.

"Was it another dream where you hurt someone?" Hinata asked him as Naruto gave her a confused look.

"...You know..."

"Yes. I heard you talk to Mom-Kushina about a dream you had...when your Rinnegan went out of control. You though you and her were far away from us during the last mission, but I had to double back for a map of town."

Naruto looked away as Hinata frowned.

"Most people on missions have nightmares of people dying, or of failure. You have bad dreams about you hurting people because of something you, can not, control" she emphasized the last part to him in a no nonsense tone. "Doesn't that make you feel better at all?"

"No..."

"Mom-Mikoto was the last person your mother was with, and affect, for over half a decade. And you will have Sakura-chan and Hiko-Chan to help you out. Trust me, your be safe Naruto...your just as dangerous as I am"

That would have made him feel better, however "Hinata-chan, your one of the last practitioners of a battle style that pretty much allows you to make people's chakra implode and blow their organs apart..."

"Baka" she whacked his head with a pillow playfully "You know what I mean. Your kekkei genkai doesn't make you evil, or more dangerous than any other ninja. You could have a kekkei genkai to melt everything you touch, and be good, or you could have a kekkei genkai to allow you to control fluffy bunnies and be a horribly evil person. Now, seeing as you woke me up ninety minutes earlier before we were supposed to get up, and it wouldn't really be worth falling asleep again...want to watch T.V?"

Sound restricting seals were meant for more than just toning down sex sounds after all: T.V too. A soccer or hockey game was bound to be on somewhere.

_Ninety off minutes later_

Kushina, dressed in a oversized T shirt and sweat pants for courtesy sake, wandered down in the whole, cook for the family thing (Ramen was good 24/7).

Instead of finding the darker room that one would normally find, she found Hinata, dressed in a light purple T-shirt and sleep shorts, and Naruto, dressed in a white Konoha T shirt with the red swirl and sweat pants, attempting to cook.

By that, I mean that Hinata managed to make a bunch of cinnamon buns, but Naruto's attempt to make Pancakes could make Lovecraft proud.

Said monstrosity was currently behind held down by a half a dozen shadow clones, applying a variety of seals involving paralyzing, slowing down and freezing.

Kushina blinked once, then twice, then promptly formed a rotating chakra ball.

"RASENGAN!"

After ten minutes, the pancake life form was banished back to the hell it came from, and Kushina promptly banned Naruto from ever attempting to cook non ramen based meals, again.

_The council chambers_

"Kushina, why do you smell like you just wrestled a pancake?" Shibi questioned with a bit of a buzz.

"...I claim Hokage's law Shodiame edition, section 18, paragraph 47, line 5's sub sect for silence" she deadpanned

"The Shodiame's provision about being attacked by breakfast materials?" Shikaku wasn't sure she quoted the right line.

"We have a provision for that?" a civilian finally said something vaguely intelligent, a first for fan fiction.

"You'd be surprised how many forms of assassination have been developed" the Sandiame, aka the Professor of Shinobi, quoted "But, aside for a note for myself to have the local flour supply checked, it is time for business"

"And I should remind you all, the blanket ban on death threats against council members is still in effect" the civilians seemed to stop in mid sentence as Kushina, Mikoto and Hitomi seemed to smirk: Mikoto even seemed to remove some ear plugs.

"The chunnin exams are a few months away" Danzo began "I suggest we begin bobby trapping..."

"Danzo, not again" The Hokage pointed out "Wars have been started over chunnin exam booby traps"

Minor wars, true, but if the Grass/Frost War of the Tiger Pit happened again, but in the form of, say, the Leaf/Kumo War of the poison gas, it could star another world war.

"Subtle traps only. Nothing lethal, and nothing that can't be attributed to basic animals, plants or natural issue"

Cheating on those exams was all but allowed, they were Ninja after all.

"Security is being enhanced: we don't need any attempts to kidnap our last, and female, Kekkei Genkai possessors" a head ANBU pointed out

"Excellent, considering how tensions in the Land of Fire are getting worse, we can't afford any of them to be kidnapped" Sarutobi nodded, not saying how they were slowly preparing for such an war. He was having some of the mission's payment portion to the village go to an off shore account he had Jiraiya set up in the Land of Nerds: allowing them to have a back up monetary reserve the Daimyo would be unaware of.

Money was important in civil war, after all, if it did come to that.

He was also having Aburame use their insects to listen in on some of the talk in the non shinobi troops, while also spying on the Daimyo. The Aburame, along with the Inuzuka, Uzumaki, Hyuga and Uchiha were the most secure clans he had at the moment for loyalty to him: the other clans had too many corruptible variables.

"...Ignoring that" the commissioner of Housing coughed "As you have requested, all hotel owners are having their residencies inspected and repaired as necessary to compensate for the increased use of them"

The Hokage nodded. It kept the civilians busy being productive, and leaving Naruto alone. Ever since they had begun restoring the hotels, anti Naruto incidents had dropped by about 3%.

"Finally, there is the fact that, in accordance to International Chunnin Exam law" Inoichi began "The Daimyo of any nation with participating Ninja must be present. How exactly are we going to manage that"

That question made the Hokage age at least a decade "...When I get that sorted out, Inoichi, I'll tell you"

Unbeknownst to the others, something completely unseen, unsmelt and chakra less was floating in the council chamber, listening in on their meeting, a being that would later research what they even meant before returning to it's mistress.

It's species name: Wrackspurt, a demon from hell.

**Omake**

**Canon**

**Eldirtch Pancake Monster**

In Hell, Luna Lovegood was having a typical day as her faithful minion was obtaining her a bargaining chip.

First, she logged onto Deathbook to watch the newest funny cat video

Then, she sharpened her trident using Hitler's exposed spine.

Then she saw to transfer the somewhat controlled serial killer (who could not control his urge to kill but managed to make it so he would only kill criminals) to a in between area of death.

Finally, she had a lunch served to her: a soup served in the skull of a Italian crusader who killed an orphanage of Muslim children for no reason bar racism...before a huge monster fell into her hell.

It was a huge mass, constantly distorting and growing. The resulting image was inducing to madness if they were not already there, like Devil Luna. It was practically Swamp Thing's pancake cousin, or Pancake Thing perhaps.

"RWWRRRR!"

"Oh, a flour based life form, haven't had one of them down here in ages" Luna said in a joyful voice. "My day has finally been made!"

After a few hours of straight combat, the creature was her latest 'attraction' for torturing evil beings for all eternity, or until they get their appeal in.

**Um, any ideas for missions. My last idea was a bust, so I want to see what you guys think is a good idea for a mission?**


	32. Big Stuff Happens

I have an excuse for my delay, even if to you it is the same two day period (1 and 3) that I normally deal with. I was helping Kageseo write an upcoming cameo with Taisune in Echoes.

Archmage: Thank you, and glad to see you from Savage Documentary.

Leaf: Well, I got a few, so it's good

Tsukoyomi: It's the sort of humor a lot of my family has.

Guest: Hinata and Sakura were both done differently than normal? Are they really the same characters you complain about?

Bloodedge: Devil Luna has reasons: above all surviving. If the Harry Potter world is the next world to die, she dies too. Neither she or that world's God, Chuck Norris, could survive that. Don't forget Naruhina, I am not a biblical expert. This Luna isn't quite the Satan most are familiar with. She's far more in common with YJ Klarion than the entity of evil. And I do like trying to mix them old on Civilians once in a while

Semaxx; There is a difference between de powering, and fleshing out. Look at Superman, he has great power, but he also has Kryptonite, Magic and his own moral code.

Zadra: thank you, and I'll try to fluff it up a bit. And interesting idea there

Less Hinata hating Guest: Not bad ideas

Destroyed Worlds: Dragon Ball Z, Twilight, Jaws, God of War, Angry Beavers, Finding Nemo

_Konoha, the next day_

Shino had a range of hobbies.

He liked bugs.

He liked creating habitats for bugs.

He liked breeding new species of bugs.

He liked looking for new species of bugs.

He liked Ice Cream...

However, he always did try to understand the hobbies of others. While he found eating to be uneventful, and his last attempt at understanding Ino's hobby of fashion was never to be spoken of, he was now trying to understand Shikamaru's cloud gazing hobby.

So, from up top a building in Konoha, he was looking into the sky.

"...Observation: staring into the sky for hours near the sun caused my eyes to hurt"

And was quickly adding it to the list of hobby understanding he'd never try again

However, he did something: briefly. It was large, and black...it almost looked like a space ship. However, it was gone as soon as he saw it.

Shino blinked once, then twice, then promptly went to go drink water in case he was suffering from dehydration.

_Konoha Mission Hall_

"...Okay Asuma, you and your team go to the Daimyo's city and point out the very real problem of him causing the cancellation of the Chunnin exams will cause. Your probably the only shinobi he won't attempt to shoot on site, and your team should also help placate him a bit. This will count as a C rank mission"

"Hai"

"Hayate, I want you to take your genin team also on a C rank mission to guard the local Road Repair crew while they go repair the main road through the forest where the Oomba are rumored to dwell"

"Cough"

"I'll take that as a yes" Sarutobi deadpanned. Both missions were important: one to keep the Chuninn exam going, and the other to make sure a supply route in a potential civil war was clear.

"Kushina, your team has a C rank of its own: recently Guy's team of genin had been sent to investigate Takumi Village. Guy is normally more diligent with his messages: he's missed two reports. Of course, considering that the last time this happened was the time he discovered jump suits in the Land of Sunsets" famous for it's brilliant beaches and mountain ranges that created the greatest sunset in the known world "...I'd prefer to avoid a repeat"

Takumi village's unique weapons: once the mainstay of all ninja forces, though now they were generally for the 1% of ninja who wanted a superb weapon on par with the Mist's seven swords, would be useful in a potential civil war. It was part of the reason he had sent Guy's team there in the first place: Tenten was a weapons fanatic.

It was the same idea of Akamichi taking missions to the Land of Chocolate.

_The expanse_

From a portal in Yellowstone in his homeworld, Beowulf found himself on the edge of a forest, in the process of being denuded for iron deposits in a Japanese world.

It was home to demonic boars with snakes and wolves big enough to ride...but the dieties in the area made him nervous...

Then his communicator rang

"Beowulf" he spoke his name in acknowledgment.

"Oh hello hero of Gaetland" Luna the Devil's voice rang in his communicator.

"You! How did you hack our frequency?"

"I can't leave my world, but my agents can. It's amazing the skill that a hacker can do when you tell them your spare them the Beiber pit."

"What do you want?" Beowulf deadpanned.

"To avoid having my world blow up, like how the pirate world that suffered Rangiku's fate and the world with that lovely Cat and Mouse duo who chased each other through a portal at the last moment " Luna said very severely "I've found an group who have found their way to the ghost's home world "

"YOU WHAT!" Beowulf shouted as several monkeys popped up around him, and bared their fangs.

"Er...continue that when I am not about to be mauled by monkeys, would you?"

"Oh, I'll call you back, try not to die" as she hung up, the monkeys attacked: while a black ship floated in the background.

_Back in Konoha_

Kushina returned from getting her orders, wondering where her brood were at.

She originally thought to check to see if Naruto, who was trying to work on the sort of de facto relationship he would have with Hinata, Sakura and Hiko, was taking one of them on a date: but such fluff really wasn't that plausible.

Even with the Hokage's laws, it was hard to have a date with half the people glaring at you. Poor Hiko would probably be sent to the hospital for a heart attack if that happened.

Hopping down from the building she was traveling on: Kushina found a rather irritated looking Kurenai.

"We need to talk" Kurenai said very severely...however before a rather emotional confrontation about ethics could begin, the 8th preacher the Daiymo had sent to Konoha in recent times (5 arrested, 2 removed by the Daimyo because they were more interested in saving souls than aiding the daimyo)

"UNCLEAN SOULS, TAINTED WITH THE UNNATURAL POWER OF CHAKRA!" the silver haired, purple eyed preacher who had originally ministered to the area around the Land of Hot Springs yelled in fury "DIE!"

And the over zelaous preacher, who had walked into a very heavily trafficked area for Konoha's shinobi: blew himself up a vest of exploding tags

_Unknown amount of time later_

Uzumaki's, regardless of a lack of a giant fox in them, were good healers and hard to kill.

So, Kushina came to eventually in Konoha's hospital: with the Hokage, Jiraiya, Hitomi, Mikoto, Sakura, Hinata, Hiko and Naruto there to greet her.

"Mom...your alright!" Naruto hugged her, tears in his eyes as she stroked his head weakly.

"...What happened?" she muttered weakly, her throat rather dry.

"The latest preacher the Daimyo sent managed to figure out how to make exploding tags: most likely from a discarded scroll, and committed a suicide attack on Konoha itself" the Hokage said with great bitterness "We lost a whole eight of our force"

"What...?" Kushina was horrified.

"Kurenai, Anko, the entire Inuzuka clan...Konohamaru" the Hokage gripped his hand in utter fury, tears coming down his face "And this time, I know exactly who to blame"

With fury, he slammed a scroll, written in official Land of Fire stationary, with the signature of the Daimyo himself on the bottom.

Kushina read it, and utterly paled. The Daimyo had sent the most zealous, most fundlementalist, least stable priest, hoping he'd weaken Konoha in case the Hokage would rise against him.

"Normally, the church is considered Daimyo turf...but frankly I am no longer going to deal with political shit" the Hokage had more anger than a peaked on Tsunade. "Every ninja under my command has been returned to Konoha" Jiraiya had saved Team Guy from some band of nut jobs called the 4 celestials or something, and sort of dragged Tsunade and Shizune back.

Admitably, dragging wasn't necessary. The bomb had blown up the cafe where Tsunade had her first date with Dan...so it was a little personal for her, to pit it mildly.

"...There is no option yet but war" Jiraiya said darkly "The Daimyo will pay for this"

_Later in the expanse_

Beowulf, after a lengthy period of fleeing from monkeys, demonic boards and a life spirit, ended up in one of the worlds that was not as well explored by the hunters.

Mostly because it was weird

"USING MY EMERGENCY TUNING TRAP, I TUNE MY LEVEL 3 JUNK SYNCHRON WITH MY LEVEL 2 SPEED WARRIOR, LEVEL 2 QUILLBOLT HEDGEHOG AND LEVEL 1 TUNNINGWARE, TO SYNCHRO SUMMON, STARDUST DRAGON!"

"I ACTIVATE POLYMERIZATION! FUSING TOGETHER MY ELEMENTAL HEROES BURSTINATRIX AND CLAYMAN TO CREATE: THE ELEMENTAL HERO RAMPART BLASTER!"

People solved their problems with card games here...Beowulf found it weird. Ducking into a graffiti filled alleyway as the two, pointy haired duelists played their card games of death, he activated his communicator again.

"You there"

"Oh, i'm here" Beowulf turned to the graffitied wall, with a image of an attractive blond witch in blue and pink, which was now animated by Luna the Devil "Ain't I a Dark Magician Girl or what?"

"...I don't normally deal with this world for sanity reasons Luna, so mind getting back to the indiviudal?"

"Oh yes" Luna coughed as she continued.

"One of my minions, while exploring a world with talking hamsters, was accidentally sucked into a exploration ship from Cybertron. A group of rogue robots, most likely Autobots, had stolen the ship, and explored the world expanse for over a decade: finding the ghost's world, my minion actually saw her. However, the little thing was not the most acutely minded: while he remembers following the ghost, he doesn't remember the route taken."

"So, you say that if we find this rogue robot brigade ..."

"If you find the Toonami Operations Modules, or T.O.M's perhaps, your find the Ghost."

**Destroyed Worlds: Dragon Ball Z, Twilight, Jaws, God of War, Angry Beavers, Finding Nemo, One Piece, Tom and Jerry**

**Er, if your wondering why I wrote that: I realized that, while writing in Anko and company was necessary from a plot point of view, I had nothing I could really do with them. So, instead of being 'put on the bus', the 'bus crashed'. Sometimes you have to remove some loose ends...**

**Oh, and now Shino is the only member of Team 8 alive, but here's one of my challenges for those who want to see all of Team 8 (in this cannon) died**

Challenge 27

_A world without Shino_

In this story, Shino was never born. Due to that, there were only eight to become Genin, leaving a team of two.

While Ino-Shika-Cho was still as before: Sasuke would have been solo trained by Kakashi had Naruto not graduated, meaning that he would be on a team with two who would help inspire Sasuke to be loyal: Sakura and Kiba.

Meaning Kurenai would be the sole teacher for Naruto and Hinata

_1: Kurenai would be a feminist, but explained due to her having no good men in her early life (Drunk father for example)_

_2: Naruhina, with harem optional_

_3; Kiba is to be treated as a pack loyal type, do not make him want to rape Hinata._

_4; Fu is to be a character, either traded to Konoha as the team's third member for the Chunnin exams, a good friend, Naruto's second love or something like that. She is not to be killed by the Akatsuki_

_5: Have Naruto be as he was in canon personality wise, but do make him more competent. Give him some more jutsu._

Go forth, and sorry Shino, your just the one to give up


	33. AN 2

I apologize for the delay in chapters. For Harry Potter and the Multiverse, I was writing the chapter to pretty much explain what happened with Harry, Fern and the missing Andrew Potter...and seeing as I want to get it all done in one chapter, have to deal with four years worth of Hogwarts. So far, I just got past Muriel blowing up, so bare with me a bit.

This is why I don't write long chapters: about four days of effort to create a 11,000 odd chapter, and I still have Books 3 and 4 to set up. I normally do 2000 word chapters, because it allows me to work around school and get all the research I need for the chapter done (Eg, Young Justice Next Gen powers, current Naruto plots for Altered Eyes and the meaning of wand woods and cores, among other things, for my chapters.

So, bear with me. I hope to be done before June 1st.


	34. Opening Shots

As my A/N said: a chapter went horribly wrong. True, it's gotten some decent reviews, but I never want to write a 20,000 word chapter again. It's burned me out a little so this chapter is a little shor.t

Oh, and the story that took the chapter, it is currently on a story that will eventually feature Naruto having a sister, with the Fox Yin Chakra. Some advice on how to portray her is nice: by the way their world will be a fanon Konoha somewhere between canon and sadism (Eg, lying about being a parent and stabbing in the night, constant beating and rape). The Naruto at least will have to retain some of his canon personality, as oppose to turning into a junior ANBU. Anyone with some advice? I don't have them popping up for a while in my head, so I have some time

Archmage: I'll see if I can squeeze some Shino in

Shadow: Thanks

Zzada: I always thought there were 4 known Inuzuka: Kiba, Hana, Tsume and the Innuzuka who was in the flasback where Minato met B

Leaf: ...Would you rather me kill her, or write her bashed? Personally I'd prefer reading a story where Hermione died than her as a bashed traitor

Vagabound: Note to self, If I ever do another Naruto fic, don't kill Anko

Niemand: Sarcasm or not

Kidloco: Thank you for your rash of Reviews. I will try to work in some Sakura and Hiko moments. Admitably Hinata is the only one who is willing to help Naruto out when the Rinnegan acts up.

Destroyed Worlds: Dragon Ball Z, Twilight, Jaws, God of War, Angry Beavers, Finding Nemo, One Piece, Tom and Jerry

_Konoha, Aburame Compound, a few days later_

"...Father, is it normal to feel this sort of...empty feeling, when you loose someone? I never have with any insect"

"...People inspire a different level of emotion than insects, my son"

"...Is there anyway to make the feeling go away?"

"...Some drink it away. Others use the flame of youth to hide it. Considering the Aburame tolerate neither alcohol or Guyness, I'd suggest something constructive. Poetry perhaps"

"...I shall go get a book on Poetry and study it"

"...You can not study poetry, my son. It must come from within"

_The Capital_

A sentry stood on top a watch tower, scanning the horizon with his binoculars.

It was his job to keep an eye out for any moving ninja in the area. Or armies. Or traveling salesmen. All three targets were to be shot on sight, per order of his excellency, the Daimyo.

"Ninja Art: Cromwell Crows"

The voice was barely registered by the sentry as crows swarmed him, spining him in a black vortex as he turned red and vanished: as if the crows swallowed him whole.

Itachi body flickered up to the top of the tower.

The hole was made

Meanwhile down below, an army of ninja appeared.

"I want precision. I want the Daimyo to pay for his crimes, but I do not want to turn this country into any more of a war zone than I have to. This strike must be This strike must be This strike must be quick, and brutal. Box in all government officials and execute all senior officials who could possibly inspire a rebellion. No killing children, no rape, keep it clean. We have the sympathy of the nation, particularly the north, after the recent attack. Raping and killing the 8 year old princesses will turn it around faster than a Nara from a triathlon"

"Ha ha" Danzo deadpanned

_Meanwhile, in a world of giant robots_

And no, not the kind the guy who writes prefers: those that transform and always seem to be at war.

The kind that Japan likes: human piloted robots.

Why they are considered cooler than Transformers...the author has no clue

However, the giant, transparent blue robot called Titan battling in the foreground is decent...

But, we don't really care about what that robot is fighting. That is for perspective.

The black ship that Luna mentioned was floating above the city, observing the robot's fight with a giant monster of some sort.

Holding his arm out from the top of the building that was out of the initial battle ground between the two behemoths, silver light began to form in his hand.

The light formed into a solid shape, of a silver bow as he took aim.

"Zip arrow, don't fail me now" he fired the arrow, up through the sky and towards the ship. The arrow head pierced the hull, and after tugging it a few times to ensure it was solid, he formed two arrows in his hand and placed them on a zip line made of a strange metal, and with a running start jumped off the building, holding onto the zip line with the two arrows as the center bar.

Good thing they 'borrowed' that Nth metal stuff from that dead hawk person. Otherwise, gravity would be a cruel mistress.

_Back in The Land of Fire_

"For the Land of Fire!"

"LAND OF FIRE..."

A small battalion of soldiers were cut down with Wind Release jutsu as Asuma landed on the ground, his chakra blades humming with wind chakra

"Save the rallying cry for higher security areas" he deadpanned

A while up the front, a few dozen chunnins of the 'generic Konoha cannon fodder' variety lay dead, with about 50 soldiers. Even if the average cannon fodder esc ninja was better than two soldiers: even had Hidan the priest not blown himself up, they'd have about 4 soldiers per ninja.

They had reserves Konoha did not.

_The palace_

"Sir, Ninjas are attacking!"

The aide informed the head of one of the Ninja world's most affluent nations frowned "I knew this would happen, I knew it! And the Minister of Education thought me wrong!"

Minister Ninsee, one of the rare people in this clearly Japanese world to really look Japanese, with horn rimmed glasses on his face frowned

"Before I told you that constantly provoking the Ninja were a bad idea, and now I'm telling you that, regardless of all your defenses around the palace, you should have invested in that tunnel. But you had to Now I'm going to die, and I'd have never gotten a chance to play a soccer game with my son"

"Who cares, I was right!"

"...I should have followed my father into the sewer cleaning business. But no, my mother wanted me to get a higher education. Go into government she said. Now I'm going to die"

"...You know, when Kami spares me from those barbarians I will personally fire you and reduce the education budget by 90%! We have too many smart people anyway"

The Daimyo believed in the divine right of kings. Of course, regardless of the existence of deities, the divine protection of kings does have some level of judgment on minimum requirements on competence and sanity

"...Perhaps my brother has an opening in his fecal analysis firm. Finding the origin of human parasites is better than all this crap"

How literal

_On the mysterious black spaceship_

A small, gray and blue pudgy robot was moving through the ship's lower hull, going over some inventory with the aide of a bunch of flying little face robots

"Okay, let's see...Mutradi DNA samples, check. Sample of 10,000 Duel Monster cards from that card store, check. Gum Gum fruits in a refrigerated unit, check, Icha Icha signed by Jiraiya with book jacket in box, check..." the robot was checking inside each crate, larger than the average high school math classroom as Beowulf looked around for a break...

"Beep"

When one of those little face bots popped up behind him

"What..." The little robot turned around towards Beowulf as he stabbed the robot in the face, breaking it as he dashed into the vast maze of passages in the ship"

"This is T.O.M 1. Unknown intruder on the Absolution. All fellow Toms, all Clydes, S.A.R.A, Flash, D, prepare for battle"

The little robot looked down at himself

"...Why am I the only T.O.M who looks like he needs to loose weight?"

**Omake**

**Promo**

**Challenge 38: The Soul of the Leaf**

Ever read Connecting the Dots? It's a great fic where Naruto characters end up in a DCAU verse. The culture clash is played quite well

But what happens when they end up in the world of Soul Eater?

During a fight, the Konoha 11 and Sasuke, at least, end up getting sucked into the Soul Verse. And in doing so, not only do they gain the attention of the big bads of Sou Eater: Medusa, Arachne, Asura, ect, but the DWMA is also after them, believing them to either be some sort of witch or otherwise dangerous

Can they work together before they kill one another

_1; Shippuden era, at least post Hidan arc_

_2: The following fights must happen: Sasuke vs Crona, Naruto vs Black*STAR, Maka vs Sakura and Death the Kid vs Rock Lee_

_3: Medusa, Black*Star and Tsubaki must be compared to Orochimaru, Naruto and Hinata respectively_

_4: Soul Wave Length and Chakra are compatible: so techniques that affect one must affect theo ther_

_5: The Naruto characters are scattered across points in the world_

_6: The Naruto characters must comment on elements of the world, like the faced Sun and Moon_

_7: Death is not the one that sealed the Kyuubi._

A sound Soul, dwells within a sound body with sound chakra and sound mind


	35. Battle in a dream

I just found out I have a hatedom. That hurts

And I guess, small chapter, small review pool. Or was this what happens when you kill off Anko?

Tsukoyomi: there is a petition for it going on, the link should be from the Toonami wiki

The Niemand: Let's see: Konohamaru, Kiba, Hana, Tsume, Anko, Kurenai, and a lot of other people

Okay, if I ever write another Naruto story: do not kill Anko...

Erm, does saying sorry help?Or the fact that E3 is releasing awesome trailers! Kingdom Hearts 3 looks awesome, as does Super Smash Brothers (Hello Megaman!) New Pokemon type...a lot of epicness

Well, back to the story

_The palace, a extensively bloody battle later_

"...We lost an eighth of our forces before this battle began, and now in revenge, we lost 3 more for every two we avenged" Saratobi said very, very grimly "We have lost nearly 25% of our forces"

"...And for what" Jiraiya said sadly as the hanging body of the Daimyo swayed in the wind "To kill him?"

"Choices made in spurs of the moment, will always bite one back in the long run" said the teacher

"Why do you think I take so long to write Icha Icha? I write many spurs of the moment, yet those sparks more often then not burn onesself" Jiraiya was looking up, as if looking for something...beyond them.

_Self commentary aside, in Konoha_

You never should put all your eggs in one basket.

Like with Kekkei Genkai for instance: while Kushina, Itachi and Hitomi were part of the battle, and survivors of it, other bearers of the sacred eyes were left back in the village, under Mikoto's watch.

However, even the Sharingan can not see somethings.

It can not penetrate the world of dreams.

Naruto found himself in what looked like an arena, surrounded by purple haze. The lights were very dim, barely lighting the vaguely Chunnin Exam Arena size (As his mom had shown him the arena that would normally be used if the Daimyo was not an ass)

"Huh...where am I? Tsubaki!? Maka!? Soul!?" some blue haired kid was also here, calling out for some names

Naruto looked up to see what looked like a giant red kite flying in the air, which he caught the sight of a bald, white skinned person with blue arrow tatoos and colorful cloths, sort of like a monks.

He even saw what looked like a giant, green humanoid turtle with a red bandanna. Was this the Flames of Youth, or whatever...weirdo's summon realm?

There were even more people...beings...in here, but Naruto really didn't catch any noticeable details, bar the fact most seemed human.

"GREETINGS!"

A dark, rumbling voice rang out, as the purple haze seemed just a bit more solid, forming into a vaguely serpent like form with glowing red eyes.

"I AM MORYO!" the voice said "Welcome to my arena...tributes"

"Release us spirit" the monk with the kite (Actually more of a staff now that Naruto got a better look at it) declared "As the Avatar, I command you..."

"I am no spirit, Airbender. I am beyond anything you all can comprehend. All of you, you all have worlds, loved ones...and you all with fight to the death if you want them to live! Until two of your die, and ten live, consider all you cared about on the chopping block"

"Hey, no one threatens my friends and gets away with it" the blue haired kid shouted "I will destroy you!"

"You are nothing...you all have 10 seconds to begin fighting or all you love shall die" the form of Moryo vanished into the shadows

The first two seconds were quiet...

"...I can stop him, as the avatar..." the monk began, before the turtle lunged at him with sai knives.

"Sorry baldy, but I'm not taking the chance!"

As turtle and monk clashed, all hell broke loose

An orange haired youth with a large sword in black robes was having his sword strike blocked by a blond haired, good looking female in blue and red with a S on her chest

A female archer took aim at a large yellow mouse, firing at it as the little rodent dodged with more agility than expected from a chubby rodent

A hispanic teenager formed a metallic orange sword out of his hands and sliced at a white haired teenager a bit younger, whose body turned intangible and let it slash right through.

A hooded figure with two elegant blades was slashing at a cat like human with a brilliant silver sword with a red gem at it's hilt.

"Sorry kid!" the blue haired one charged at Naruto himself "But I'm not letting my friends die!"

Moryo watched the carnage with quite the smirk.

The two who died in this free for all slug fest, would have their own world die with them. And it wasn't so clear who would live or die: after all, the way this scenario was made, you had stronger warriors (Such as Aang, Pikachu or Supergirl) who would not use lethal force, while weaker, power wise, warriors (like Raphael or Katniss would).

Aang, Raphael, Supergirl, Ichigo, Katniss, Pikachu, Rex, Danny Phantom, Roxas, Lion'O, Black*Star and Naruto all fighting to the death...this would be entertaining.

Of course, normally the fight you all actually care for would have more grand moves then the current round of fistacuffs. However, with Naruto predating the Rasenshurikan and Sage Mode, and Black*Star without Tsubaki, the fight was not quite what it should be, a fight between Naruto's superior powers and Black*Star's superior weapon skills and physical attributes, but instead a fight between the fighting style of the Star Clan, and the fighting style of Konoha,as oppose to a fight between, say Cyclops and Captain America.

With occasional tricks...

Black Star slammed his fist into Naruto, delivering a force capable of breaking an Haku ice mirror afting being blocked twice and getting a round kick to the sides.

However, instead of being crippled, Naruto poofed into smoke.

"NOT THIS AGAIN!" Black*Star snapped

"SUMMONING JUTSU, ANIMAL PATH!"

A poof of smoke burst forth, and let loose a large white, sloth like ape at Black*Star.

"OOMBAA!"

Black*Star leapt over the vaguely ape sloth monster before smashing into its back. paralyzing the beast as it poofed away.

"HA! Your little freaks of nature are no match for the mighty Black*Star!"

"WIND RELEASE; GREAT WIND!"

Naruto blasted Black*Star with a strong gust of wind capable of causing an average 14 year old to fly a few stories up in New York City.

The blue haired warrior rolled a bit, before pushing himself back up and lunging back at Naruto

"NO PUNY WIND CAN STOP ME!"

"WIND RELEASE; GREAT WIND!"

The wind gust struck at Black Star again, but he forced himself through it and landed a powerful impact on Naruto, knocking him down on the ground.

"I WILL SURPRASS GOD YOU HERE ME! YOU ARE JUST A STEP!"

"FIRE RELEASE; FIREBALL JUTSU!" the great fireball was let loose, slamming into Black*Star as Naruto got back up, if rather unsteadily.

Before Black*Star slammed down on him with a powerful physical blow that Lee would envy.

"For my friends" green energy began forming on Black*Star's hands. "You must die. I'm sorry...FINISHING STRIKE: BLACK*STAR..."

Naruto's Rinnengan eyes flashed as a flash of power unexpectedly was released.

A soul menace struck against a gravity field, an skilled weak vs a just learned strong: with an explosion as both found themselves down on the ground.

The two began struggling to force themselves up: as the battles all around them were ended...

"WAAAAAIIIIIILLLLL!" from the voice of the white haired warrior, let loose a sonic blast of green energy right at the metal maker: who morphed a blue energy shield gauntlet on each hand to let loose a powerful guard.

So, he was safe from the worst of it.

The blast continued on though: into two other battles. The turtle ninja, who had just attempted to stab the monk, was knocked off with a wind burst, shielded himself and the turtle with a wind dome.

Though in that case

"Uh uh, your not not going to suck my lungs dry!" the turtle got the wrong idea and got out, and was pretty much crushed by the train level force.

As the white haired being stopped in shock from the sheer horror of what he did, what remained of the sonic blast hit another battle, with the archer and the mouse.

The mouse and archer were both knocked to the down, with severe disruption to interior bodily functions, but the fact is, one was meant to take those attacks, one was not.

And so, all but the two who died faded away, back to their own worlds

And the losers, fell into the ever endless void of death, bar a afterlife or two, with their worlds following miloseconds later.

As Moryo chuckled ominously as a final passing curse to those who lived.

Naruto woke up in a shocked gasp as Sakura was looking over him.

"Naruto...you okay? You look like you had a nightmare"

Naruto looked around, finding himself lying on the ground just feet from the ramen he had been about to cook.

"...It was...you know how my mom, talked about what the exams were like" Sakura nodded "Well, it like a...twisted version of it"

"Like a test where the right answers, are wrong" Sakura offered a horror of her own nightmares

"...Worse. It was a fight to the death, for the amusement of spectators...or just one. An evil one..." he looked worried "Sakura-chan...if the Chunnin exams are held, is the final really a test, or just a spectacle?"

"...Can't it be both?"

"Sakura-Chan...I'm worried. That's the second time...I dreamed about the same thing...a purple energy serpent. Am I just going mad, or is it something else?"

"Dreams are merely figments of one's mind. Could they possibly mean something more..." Sakura held her hand on his shoulder "Perhaps, but that's a theologicial thought. And I'm not really welcome in local temples" due to her birth moth's arctions

"...Thanks..." Naruto was interrupted when his long overdue stomach growled.

Sakura chuckled "I'll cook something for you that isn't ramen based"

"Ah..."

**Promo**

Challenge 11

To go along with the Succbi, Incubbi theme from earlier, like my Hanyou theme in the earlier ones, I will come up with one more style of it

In this one, while the Kyubbi attack goes on exactly as it does in cannon, somehow Minato and Kushina ended up surviving the whole, sealing and stepped on by a giant fox, thing. Pretty basic...they live, they are disgusted by how Konoha reacts to his son, despite said public announcement of such (Done because several ninja notice the fox being sealed in Naruto and spread the word before it can be silenced)

It gets...interesting when Naruto, Minato and Kushina, one night when no one is around, grow fox tails and succubi-inccubi wings

Understandably, the adults freak out, and using Fuinjutsu question the Kyuubi in Naruto's gut...to find most if it gone, but a connection to its chakra still there to keep Naruto alive (Though the thing is still alive)

So, hiding the changes, they eventually find and consult Jiraiya, who then proceeds to bow grovel before Minato like a god.

Jiraiya explains that somehow, likely do to either the Kyuubi's chakra in Kushina and Naruto, and perhaps his bond with them for Minato, they had become Half Kitsune, Half Succubi-Incuubi demons; a combination that not only will keep them alive, for a long period of time (Your choice), and in addition naturally increase their power over time, but also means, from their lust demon sides, that the stronger they get, the more sex or release they need

So, it slowly becomes necessary for Minato and Kushina, who resist at first...to have a few other girls in the house, who end up going through the same transformation after the first...try out(It is explained by Kushina being the one to have the reborn Uzumaki clan, the others for the Namikaze clan...and the fact that he is Jiraiya's student)

But, then, what happens when Naruto's side begins to emerge

_1; Minato must have at least one other girl, though it would make more sense for more to be there for the sense of his power. OC or real character, your choice_

_2; Naruto can have siblings, but if it turns into a ignore Naruto fic it goes against this challenge and your story looses its rights_

_3; Naruto, while more competent, must retain some of his personality from his original self_

_4; No Bleach elements_

_5; Do not bash Minato, Kushina, Jiraiya, Hiruzen, Tsunade or Danzo_

_6; Naruto must start ending up getting girls by the end of the Academy_

_7; Minimum girl requirements; Hinata, two cannon girls, three filler girls, one female Jinchuriki_

_8; Naruto must know of his status as, to most people's knowledge, a Jinchuriki_


	36. On flaming and reviews

Reviews are important. They give the author good feelings, and input on what they do right or wrong. Reviews pick up mistakes, and can create new ideas.

I was feeling pretty good. I had gotten a new C2 for this story, a bunch of good praise, a nearly 200 percent increase in review from last chapter, and I was going to graduate on Wednesday, and in fact I did. I had steak too, very good steak...

Then, as I slept, a string of reviews came. Normally, I adore these steams because they are normally from big fans, but this...

This wasn't the case

Slicerness was not giving me advice. He was not leaving short but positive reviews on chapter after chapter. He wasn't even giving criticism, he gave hate.

Review after review of hate on most of this stories chapters.

Now, I do get these once in a while, as I said earlier I have a hatedom. But they are normally just one review...not one for each chapter or so.

Due to the unusual nature of this, I banned him, my second banning in over two years on here. I thought it was over, so I went out to dinner with my grandparents, who were visiting.

Slicerness promptly used another account to leave more hate, and taunt me about failing to stop him while I was out having my graduation lunch.

He outright said this when he got his second account on it "Nice try blocking me asshole, but I'm committed to reviewing every chapter of this shitty story, whether you liek it or not."

Oh, and before I blocked Slicer account 2, some 0 Jordinio 0 reviewed and quoted "..This fic is so fucking stupid. Go kill yourself you useless piece of shit. If you don't, I'm reporting this fic for being a crime against literature. seriously, are you fucking illiterate you retarded, baboon faced rape child?"

News flash, my mother was raped. I take that very offensively, more than most would.

I am not Mark Twain, or Hektols, and I am not perfect, but I write the way I write. I think the way I think. And no one is perfect

To quote T.O.M 3.5

_Well, I guess it's time to hate on haters. [...] We've all got one. It's the person who says, that sucks, no matter what you're doin'. [...] Now this isn't the same as criticism. Criticism serves a healthy function. Sometimes it can even help you get better. That's because it comes from a good place. Hating, however, is when someone just wants to cut you down. They wanna watch you fall. [...] Toonami's had a lot of criticism, and a lot of haters in our time. We welcome the criticism. Cuz this is a work in progress and we wanna hear what you guys think. Because we love you. But, when it comes to haters, old Tom learned his lesson a while ago. You can't let them get to you. [...] So keep your head up. Keep doing what works for you, and don't be afraid to listen to your critics. But always, always, ignore the haters. We all deserve better."_

If you have a problem with a writer, you don't spam hate. You don't tell them to kill themselves or insult their mother. People like Jordino and Slicerness have put a dark mark on an important day for me...for no reason than to be mean.

Now, while I can't pepper a few anime scenes in my conversation like T.O.M, I hope you understand why my muse is currently feeling ill. I hate to do author notes again, but this hate is adding to my growing loss of a Naruto muse. I may in fact end this story and leave the Naruto fandom.

I just need some time to think, well that and my labtop seems to realize it is at the end of it's main run and wants to start retiring early.

I apologize...


	37. The Exam Shall Soon Happen

Delayed by college orientation, then by plane cancellations...then by being tired after finding a way back after said plane cancellations, but in exchange for this, the last update featured in Harry Potter Reads the Multiverse featured Devil Luna. Yes, the crazy demon you all LOL at had her storyline with Ron, hinted at at her debute, presented in full chapter format, a complete omake that requires no reading of the rest of the story to truly understand. Go to the last chapter of Harry Potter reads the Multiverse NOW!

Oh, and thank you for all the pick me up. Writing shall now resume, with a chapter a little short, but packed with some humor to get me back on track

Thunderstorms suck, by the way

_The Absolution_

A metallic being, slim with a visor that looked slightly angry looking, was staring out into space through a window in a captain's pit, as the doors behind him opened up, as some little robot fell to the ground, the round body embedded with arrows.

"So, your the stowaway?" the robot commented as he turned around, to spy Beowulf, bow aimed right at him

"Mind leaving the CLYDE'S be though?"

"This isn't about the fate of some mass produced robot" Beowulf commented "The fate of many worlds hangs in the balance, and you will give me the information that I need to save it"

"...So you break into the Absolution? Cause massive property damage? What gives a self appointed hero the right to do that?"

"I don't have time to dress up with a cape and visible briefs." the bow was fired, striking the chassis of the robot and bounced off.

"I am the latest T.O.M model, version 5. I was designed to deal with darker, edgier worlds, and anti heroes like you. I infiltrated the Carnival Corpse, escaped The Ruin and aided in the battle of Kana Village. You don't scare me"

The two lunged at each other

_A possibly epic fight aside...well I had to continue that sub plot somewhere_

"...If this is karma for accidentally peeping on your wife...well I don't think I deserve it." Jiraiya whimpered as he was presented with the paperwork the Daimyo would normally have to do, having been made temporary Daiymo.

Perhaps that was why he was so irritable, it was five times more than what poor Hiruzen had to work on

"No it isn't..." the Hokage began

"...Because she was old and leathery..."

"...Continue saying things about my dear departed wife and you'll have my paper work too"

Jiraiya shut up faster than a Akamichi would eat at a all you can eat buffet after said Akamichi completed a S class mission.

"...Good, now we have a month to keep the peace, and get the Chunnin Exams up and running. The hotels have to be made to listen, the roads need to be cleaned up, and any rebels have to be silenced so they don't set off a paper bomb in the dispensers"

"...We are going to need security with eyes in the back of their heads..." Jiriaya sighed "Of course, the one time I want to deal with Hyuga men they are all dead"

He loved to deal with Hyuuga woman...with their luscious bodies...

"We will have to make due without them" Saratobi commented "The Aburame's bugs may be our best security option, though that means we are going to have to skimp on cockroach removal..."

"...Hopefully Shibi is understanding" Jiraiya admitted

**_Konoha, a few days later, a training field_**

One of the biggest sports in Japan is in fact Baseball.

So thus, the fact that Naruto was currently using shadowclones to play himself in a baseball game is not the author showing that he is a baseball fanboy (Which he is not). It is actually a researched fact by the author

And while normally authors would suggest that Naruto fills his time off missions with ramen binges, training and quite often steamy sex with Hinata, Sakura, Femchia's or whoever the pairing is: two things

One, the fact that of those three specifically names, only Hinata is currently sexually active, and the fact that Naruto does not really enjoy sex.

And two, as the old saying goes 'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy'

Er...perhaps the author could have thought up a better way to say that, but hey, writers make Naruto into a Shining esc nut all the time and people seem to like it. Whatever the reason is, ninja need to do some non ninja activities to keep from going crazy.

Danzo trims Bonsai, Kakashi reads Porn, Shikamau plays Shogi...its all retaliative really.

"STRIKE THREE! YOUR OUT!" Naruto Prime, who was on the pitcher's mound, told one of his shadow clones who he just struck out at bat.

"NO I'M NOT!"

"Yes you are" Naruto told him

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME..." Naruto snapped his fingers as said clone went poof

"...Yes I can" Naruto prime commented as another one of his clones came up to bat. Naruto, holding the ball in his hands, smirked.

"Here's something I'd like to call...the Uchiha curve ball!"

He threw the ball, the clone swung, and it hit the umpire Naruto's glove

"STRIKE ONE!"

"Now, what about the Akamichi Fast Ball"

He threw

The clone swung

The ball struck glove

"STRIKE TWO!"

"Now, for the Uzumaki swirl!" he threw as the clone looked determined

SWAK

And the ball went flying

"OH YEAH! HOME RUN!" The clone tossed the bat as he ran around the pitch.

He and his fully loaded team

"...Does it really count as a loss if I got beat by myself" Naruto Prime commented as the ball landed out of bounds...

Hitting a red haired male with a gourd on his back and a bunch of creepy tattoos who looked like he could use some sleep right in the head.

"Oh...sorry about that" Naruto Prime commented as the creepy kid gave him a look

"...Die"

**Omake 1**

**PROMO for next story in Harry Potter Reads the Multiverse (featuring Naruto in the backstory and likely as a major character in later arcs!)**

**Ninjas vs S.H.I.E.L.D**

"STAND DOWN IN THE NAME OF S.H.I.E.L.D!"

A hundred odd armored men with guns were firing at a Shippuden aged Naruto, who dodged the bullets with Jiraiya trained speeds.

He appeared behind a armored, man sized robot, drawing two kunai as he sliced the robot's neck. It collapsed, as a few hundred more robots flew at him.

"The Darklands belong to the States!"

"Yeah, I don't think so" Naruto stared down the robots as he knicked his fingers.

"SUMMONING JUTSU!" Gamabunta formed from a giant poof of smoke as he flew into the air and sliced down all the robots that swarmed at his summoner, the impact of the giant toad landing knocking all the S.H.I.E.L.D agents to the ground.

Gamabunta looked ready to strike them too, before a shaded figure smashed into Gamabunta with a shield, knocking the giant toad to the ground as a huge plume of smoke rose up.

Naruto looked through the smoke to see the man who had taken down the toad chief.

He was in better shape than any ninja, a shield greater than any ninja tool on his arms. He was dressed in red, white and blue.

"Stand down son. I don't enjoy killing kids" the figure stated as Naruto formed a shadow clone.

"...Can't say I plan to die today, Captain" Naruto commented as he began forming a blue spiraling sphere.

"RASENGAN!"

Naruto charged at the armored suited hero, who used his shield to block it.

And so Rasengan and Shield collided

**Omake 2**

**Non Canon**

**Why being a Fanfiction Writer is difficult**

"...Hulk WILL SMASH YOU ALL IF YOU WILL NOT SHUT UP!" Hulk was still the secretary at Crossoverpariinglover studios as a huge hodgepodge of famous and not so famous characters silenced themselves.

"...We want to see the president" a Fusionfall inspired Dexter said in his russian accent "We've heard rumors about one of the currently projects ending soon, so we know that a new project is necessary..."

"You had your chance on a minor project, while I haven't even gotten to do more than make cameos!" Ichigo yelled at the shorter red head

"...The project, while meant to be short, was hampered by lack of creative want and time. As a full story, Fusionfall by this studios could be excellent: the writer is a huge CN fan. Admitably, he'd have to actually watch Megas XLR and Samurai Jack a bit first to get their feels better..."

"The author needs something new and awesome to get out of his anime writer flunk..." a walking cat with a gold coin on his forehead commented in a Brooklyn Accent "Me's a thinking a Pokemon story...Pokemon vs Yu-GI-OH"

"...We'll win Meowth, hands down" a hot blond female in a blue and pink witch commented

"No we'll win Dark Magician Girl!"

"Your series is too long!"

"Yours is fractioned! Where would the writer even put it!? Can you use Synchro's in GX fandom..."

"I've so had it reserved since Vampiress!" Ichigo yelled at all of them, ending the WB war

"Your anime got cancelled and the big guy upstairs lost interest during the Fullbring arc, so a new guy needs to star, like me...BLACK*STAR!" said blue haired Naruto expy exclaimed

"...The writer does his best when writing Harem stories: and how many girls can you be paired up with? Maka would never be in a harem story and still be her, he dislikes Patti and Liz, whatever Pot is the girl is too young..." Percy Jackson commented "While there are ideas he has for me that would be cool, harem or not"

"YOU HAD TWO STORIES! GIVE THE OTHER FANDOMS A CHANCE YOU YANKEE!" Ichigo pointed his new sword at Percy, who was about to draw Riptide

"HULK SAYS SHUT UP!" Hulk smashed his hands together and knocked out Dexter, Ichigo, Mewoth, the Dark Magician Girl, Black* Star and Percy Jackson before muttering "...Hulk should have become a doctor like mother wanted"


	38. Meet the Contestants

Food for thought, who has bigger boobs, Hinata or Orohime? Sorry, I was delayed by lack of sleep and stuff I had to do over the weekend

Casey W:...I can take criticsm, however there is a difference between someone leaving you one review like that, and another who uses two accounts to do it. Wait, why I am I bothering to tell you this?

Drakefire Atomic: He meant the healing type of Doctor.

61394: Tis the point

Soulhope: Ever read Ultimate Marvel? Well, that Cap took down Giant Man, who is bigger than Gamabunta. That is where the idea came from.

Shadow: Yes, it does. And I actually thought of that as I was struggling to get back, and I figured Gaara would be a good ice breaker. After all, we use sand to melt ice after all. ...hmm that was a good one

Guest: I would have to find some good Bleach harem stories that are not Naruto X-Overs first so I can see the fandom a bit. Know a good writer of them by Ichigo's 'talent' to quote a dub Sailor where I could start, for both benefit of a writer to root out the rough to find a diamond, or at least the pretty quartz.

Dez: Hmmm...I'll have to see if I have the time to

Archmage: Glad to have you back you know. I haven't been sleeping all that well, so I might be repeating myself: have you checked out Harry Potter reads the Multiverse or Young Justice Next Gen?

_Now, to the impending bloodbath_

"...By no chance...if I let you play will you let me live?" Naruto asked weakly as sand flew at him. It took out his entire team, and opposing team of shadow clones and ruined his favorite bat, but he avoided it with some quick moves

"You know, I'm pretty sure there is a rule about killing your opponents before the exam begins" Naruto commented as he defied gravity and stuck himself to the side of a tree.

Gaara formed sand hammers on his hands just briefly, before he realized he was remembering some story from his childhood, got disturbed again, let the hammers fall apart and sent sand at Naruto "...It has for me, it has for weeks"

"...You must be a killer at parties" Naruto used chakra to escape the sand trap as he formed a few hand signs and let loose a big old fire ball right into Gaara, who dosed it with his sand.

"I am always a killer" Gaara commented as the sand kept coming at Naruto, who kept dodging it in a manner that would make a web slinger proud, along with said banter.

"It's times like this that I have to wonder if I should try to get that explosive trick mom has" he could so see himself using it to make a giant robot suit.

After all, ninjutsu was all about imagination really, and improvization. It was someone's ability to think outside the box that allowed them to create better and better jutsu.

Even without a Rinnegan, such intuition was his greatest weapon. After all, why bother having super eyes if it would make you cold and deal with everything with soul removal or gravity implosions?

"But, I can do this..." he formed a few hand signals in the air as he jumped to another tree, and slammed down "Come on, Summoning, something used to sand!"

From the sand rose up a massive form: a beast with two horns and a tan pelt. Several prayer bead necklaces dangled from his horns, and his fur seemed grayed with age.

Both ninja's stared at it

"...An Antelope?" Gaara questioned? "You fight me with an ANTELOPE! DIE..."

**ZAP**

From between the horns of the Desert Antelope, a beam of energy slammed right into Gaara, knocking him to the ground.

"...Cool..." Naruto wasn't expecting lasers

"I am Gemnick, sage of the Gemsbok tribe. We have roamed the deserts of your world since time immortal, and have met the one dwelling in that boy's body" the antelope commented to Naruto as he noticed who had summoned him "I am surprised to have been summoned, my kind hasn't been summoned in ages"

"...Something's in...He's a Jinchuriki?!" Naruto hadn't expected that

"...Yes, and the latest in a line of psycopathic ones. My great wisdom tells me you should run before he wakes up" the Gemsbok would have liked to see how the world had changed, but he liked living.

As Gaara stirred the sage poofed away

"Really? Your running away?!" Naruto exclaimed as he frowned "...Then again, Sakura did say she want me to help out with her genjutsu practice, and she might just be more dangerous than he was"

With that self lie, he left just as Gaara stirred away

"...We will meet again, and when we do...you shall die"

_Taki_

"...The Chunnin Exams?" Fu asked incrediously as she and Haku were being briefed on their next mission.

"Yes. Konoha is currently hosting them, an attempt to mask their weakness and begin patching up the losses they took overthrowing their Daimyo. Of course, it would be utterly pointless to attack Konoha: even with their losses, with both Jiraiya and Tsunade within summoning distance, as well as Itachi Uchiha, no sane small village would dare attack Konoha unless they had help from either three other smaller villages or one of the Kage villages, and even then if it was just Sand it would be suicidal. No, I think something else is better..."

"...What sir?" Haku asked

"You two will attend the exams, surviving at least until the second round, the main kill off. You will observe which Konoha team is the most dangerous potentially, and eliminate them with all necessary force. Weakening Konoha will benefit us in the long run, but we can not even begin formulating an attack strategy until their little tree is top heavy, with few young ninja to replace the old"

"...Please no more puns" Fu silently begged

"I'll dig up a halfway decent academy student to fill in as your third member, a reliable Jonnin who won't try to kill you for your sensei, and have you be off. Do not humiliate the village"

_Karakura Town, the expanse _

Sitting on the roof of a building, his sharingan activated, a older Sasuke was observing the training of a orange haired teenage male with a big sword by a old guy with a green and white striped hat that shaded his face.

Everyone's base breaker Uchiha was dressed in black with the Uchiha symbol on his back, frowned as he observed this guy.

With the Sharingan, he could copy the skills and abilities of anyone he encountered. His powers, physically, mentally and pure chakra were no longer bound by the limits of the simple shinobi.

And yet, his eyes also revealed to him startling truths.

He had been taught that the Uchiha were the most powerful beings, and many of his past fights showed that. This world's titans died by his hand, if half of them, and most of their leadership, by stealth and ninja assassination topics.

Even the mightiest of pirates were not safe from him

Yet, the Saiyan beat him.

The power that being had...Sasuke hoped to never see again. Even with his sharingan, he didn't even come close to duplicating the power.

He had a trick or two, but they were pale imitations.

Was the Sharingan really so imperfect, that he could not duplicate the powers of anyone? Was that why he, no matter how many times he used the Sharingan on this Ichigo, he could not copy his ability to achieve perfection in training so quickly...

"Come Sasuke" Sasuke didn't look behind him as Tobi rose up behind him, looking as odd as ever with his mask "We have to go, and now before that Shinigami senses us and we loose the most important of ninja powers..."

"Where?" Sasuke questioned, not bothering to point out how important stealth was "What else is there for me to learn?"

"...Home, your training is complete. You shall return to destroy Konoha"

_A few days later, the Northern Land of Fire_

As the exams approached, so did a new set of challenger.s

In a hotel on the road between the northern border and the middle of the country where Konoha resided, a young man approached the check in counter of a local inn, three females accompanying him. It was not an unexpected sight, many people were moving south to Konoha for the exams, and the North had the least rebel activity because they did not have any complaint over the government being overthrown.

True, some did, but they got tarred and feathered.

"We'd like to make a reservation for the night" he was rubbing a wound on his upper arm as the shortest of his female entourage looked on with some concern "Do you have a room available?"

"We do, sir" the attendant bowed "Allow me to attend to your..."

"I don't have luggage" the man commented "I would, however, appreciate a wake up call"

"Of course, of course" the manager bowed "Now, what are your names?"

"Beowulf"

"Artemis" said the youngest one commented

**_Omake_**

**_Challenge _**

Challenge 37: when world's collide, heroes unite

I expect your expecting me to say this will be a crossover where Naruto and Harry team up, but no.

Their worlds lack the overlap needed, however two world's close to my heart do.

Two of my first harem shows: Rosario Vampire and Sekirei

What happens when Minaka's ever evolving Sekirei plan discovers that there are other worlds? With other powers, perhaps equal to the Sekirei

Why, the only thing the nut job would do is attempt to obtain some Yokai to enhance his plan

And knowing the laws of anime, and cross influenced by the law of heroes, the yokai kidnapped are, of course, Tsukune's gal pals, and Tsukune himself. However, Tsukune is separated from the girls, and pursued by the Disciplinary squad: on orders to execute the 'non important' human.

After a battle, he defeats Benitsubasa and Haihana, but Karasubau manages to defeat Tsukune, as the change in worlds has accelerated his ghoul condition, making the seal holding his ghoul back very close to being let loose. He only escaped with the help of Minato's Sekirei, who found out Minaka's plan via Matsu's hacking.

Taking Tsukune back to the Inn, Minato decides to help Tsukune track down his missing harem: before their abilities are weaponized, or perhaps they turned into Sekirei themselves.

_1: Tsukune, while at the brink of having his ghoul side take over, is to retain his confidence and be as willing as ever to put himself in danger for Moka and the others_

_2: He and Minato are to become friends over time, and discuss the similarities and differences between their fates_

_3: If Tsukune's girls are turned into Sekirei, Tsukune can operate as an Ashikabi_

_4: The period of time either series can be set in can vary: Minato only needs to have all six canon Sekirei while Tsukune has to have his ghoul powers and holy lock_

_5: Minaka will focus on Moka and Kurumu the most for research: meaning that saving Mizore/Yukari/Ruby would come first. If you are a Kokoa/Tsukune person...she goes with Moka and Kurumu on the importance scale_

_6: Canon multi pariings only. Tsukune can not wing Miya or any other Sekirei_

_7: Remember, the Sekirei world takes place in a futuristic earth._

Capu little birds...capu

**_(What...I am suffering from Naruto based writers block. It is part of the reason I am trying to get to the exams)_**


	39. To fear a Gaara

This story is now found in the C2 Ninja: NarutoXHinata. I wonder, did they also put in my other two stories in it as well? Regardless, the Chunnin Exams continue to draw closer...

61394: There is a saying about the great three Shohen Manga, that for every person who loves all three, you have someone who either hates two and loves one, or loves two and hates one

GuestL Hmmm...I tried it. It didn't quite feel right

Shadowblood: He's better

Soulhope: Hmm...good point

Archmage: Well, hopefully the upcoming appearance by the world's most popular Ninja can change your mind.

_Konoha Training Ground, a Day later_

Naruto had his eyes closed, his senses attuned to even the slightest of sounds...when the sound of rusting sand came from behind.

Naruto jumped out of the way, as a fireball flew at him.

Drawing a wooden kunai, he sent it flying...

"OW!"

And landed as he saw Hiko and Sakura stumble out of the treeline, Hiko rubbing a wound on her collar bone.

"Sorry about that" Naruto pointed out. There was a reason that fake weapons were used in training like this after all.

"It's okay" Hiko managed to say.

"Your not going for round 6 are you?" Sakura asked "I mean, isn't this a little, obsessive? Setting up Genjutsu after Genjutsu like that isn't exactly the easiest thing in the world, I'm not Kurenai-Sensei after all"

"You could be though" Hinata commented as she wandered onto the training field, having been out shopping with her mother "So...what exactly are you training for?"

"Naruto ran into some sand nut from Suna earlier" Sakura explained "The guy could control sand and tried to kill Naruto with some suffocation, crushing things. He's gone a little nutty trying to prepare for running into him again"

"He specifically has a reason to kill me, so I figure it is worth my time to practice avoiding his sand, and seeing as I don't know anyone else who can control sand, dirt, rice or something else that can avalanche like he can, Genjutsu is the best option for practice, with the occasional fireball for lethality" Naruto said in a tone that suggested that he was annoyed that people found his training to be obsessive

"What ever happened to the lesson all three mom's drilled into us, that focusing on just one technique or counter is lethal?" Hinata offered "That sand guy isn't the only dangerous Genin going to the exams you though. You need to practice for more than just him"

"How many of them want to kill me specifically?" Naruto pointed out

Hinata gave him a look "What about when the people with the ability to turn their hands into sharp chakra blades attack you?"

"Who can do that?" Naruto asked in a 'really, your being ridiculous' tone as chakra began covering Hinata's hands, like some hybrid between the Gentle Fist and Kakashi's Chidori.

"I can" and Hinata attacked him to prove her point.

_One training session later_

"Ow..." Naruto rubbed one of his many bruises "Was that necessary Hinata?"

The pearl eyed Hyuga, with a similar level of bruises, turned her head and gave him a look. She was walking ahead of Naruto, who was walking in front of Sakura and Hiko "I don't want you killed by something else while your checking corners for sand. Now, are you going to just be preparing for sand?"

"No Hinata..." he droned like a scolded child as Hinata smiled "I'll be on the look out for people whose hands are sword level sharp like that Ultimate Gentle Fist of yours"

Hinata stopped for a moment, allowing Naruto to walk up to her level, and grabbed him by the ear.

"OW OW OW OW!"

"Your so cute sometimes, and so aggravating. Now, guess whose paying for our dinner while our moms relieve stress back at home?"

Both Naruto and his wallet had similar levels of horror radiating off them. Now, since their moms were most likely in the bedroom it wasn't like they'd see something, and there were leftovers in the fridge, but the sounds would get them aroused too...

_Expanse_

"...This isn't home" Sasuke pointed out to the masked Uchiha as they observed a huge battle in the distance

"...The way home is not as simple as the flight of an eagle. The portals are scattered, and the way from the Soul Warrior domain to our home is not a quick route. If I took the portal found in Karakura Town, I'd end up in Gelel country. It would take too long. There is a much closer portal to Konoha a few worlds over"

"And you have the memory to actually memorize it all?" Sasuke deadpanned

"No, but this IPad does" Obito Tobi took out the handheld device and waved it a few times "And it plays good tunes"

"...Am I the mature one?" Sasuke briefly asked himself as he observed some of the warriors below.

One, with black hair and a blue jacket, formed a burst of fire and burned down a few dozen enemy warriors, before he quickly slammed his hand onto the ground, forming a glowing rune circle of some sort, rising up a wall of metal from dirt to block a round of gunfire.

"...Turning dirt into steel, what is that? Jutsu..." his Sharingan gave it a look "...Damn, still can't copy it "

**'Alas, chakra and alchemy have translation problems. If you studied for years, you could master it. But alas..."**

As Obito observed the carnage with amusement, a living shadow emerged from the main body shadows and sped up into through the nostrils of Sasuke, causing his to twitch a few times, before Sasuke cracked his neck a few times and smirked

"You couldn't. Of course Sasuke, I'm going to have to borrow your body. After all, I have reasons to stop the actions of a few godlings. Though, I'm not needed for a while"

Sasuke's neck cracked again as his eyes rolled a bit

"Huh..." he looked around. What just happened, he blacked out for like, 50 seconds or so.

"Sasuke! Hurry up, the portal link to Jurai is just ahead. After that, we have a few more stops to go, but hey, what human doesn't want to go to Jurai for a few days? I love that reality, particularly when your not around!"

The black out aside, Sasuke just rolled his eyes in disgust. Damn super perverts

_Paperwork hell_

Jiraiya twitched, as if someone was getting to go to his dream realm of existence. And he was stuck on paper work.

Oh whoa was him, whoa was him...

The door opened up, revealing the world's biggest breasts, and the world's thus hottest woman

"...Hey there you old pervert, put the paper down for a bit and go out for a drink" she was in a mooching mood, but even though Jiraiya could tell that, he didn't care.

Perhaps he was not so forsaken after all. He got to stare at a drunk Tsunade's breasts!

Paperwork could wait, just for one night

_Konoha_

"...Ramen would have cost so much less" Naruto whimpered with his anorexic wallet as Hinata continued to clean her mouth with a napkin. Sakura and Hiko were behind them, with doogy bags of leftovers

"But it's not nearly as tasty" Hinata chuckled evilly

"...Sometimes I wonder about you" Naruto muttered darkly as they passed a hotel, where Naruto saw someone very familiar.

Gaara

He froze in place as his teammates stopped with him, as Gaara gave him a very creepy smile, before making a cutting motion with his hand.

All the time staring at Naruto directly.

He then backed away, slowly and mysteriously into the shadows.

"...Naruto, about my comment about being overly worried about that guy" Hinata began with some level of her normal canon nervousness "...I take it back. Some major prep for that guy is warranted, though perhaps not a monopoly of your training being based on combating him alone"

"So, does that mean you'll reimburse me?" Naruto joked as he held out his wallet hopefully as she smiled.

"...Maybe" she quipped as he looked depressed along with his already present Gaaraphobia

**Omake **

**Promo for next Harry Potter Reads the Multiverse World (Featuring Naruto in cameos at least in initial part)**

**Battle**

Over a shallow ocean, a vast fleet of flying ships were approaching a hill dotted shoreline

With the same logo on the hull as the agents from the last one, Sora no Kuni had nothing on the sheer power of this air force.

And Naruto knew it, but the lone Shinobi wasn't going to let that stop him.

"Shadow clone Jutsu!"

A few hundred Naruto's formed up from poofs of smoke all along the hills

From the lead ship, a dark cloaked Black man with a eye patch frowned

"Uzumaki huh..." he frowned "Send in Squad 21"

From a ship two to the right from the head, three figures flew out towards the small Naruto army as each blond glared at the approaching trio.

"RASENGAN!" each clone paired up as the spiraling chakra sphere, as the three fliers came into view.

One was a red dragon humanoid at the same size of a human, with oddly black hair with green highlights

The second was a white haired, pale teenager in a mostly black body suit with white gloves and boots, with a fancy D logo

The final was a Hispanic Male with a red jacket and blue-black pants, who had a helipack of orange metal on allowing him to fly.

"ATTACK!" the Naruto clones all lunged at the three, as each countered

The dragon breathed out fire, the white haired one had his body turn intangible to allow the clones after him to phase through and then blasted them down with green energy while the last one grew a similarly colored sword to his jetpack from his arm and cut down all the clones.

The resulting smoke wall was better than any fog for masking what the three remaining clones and the original were up to

"Wind Release: RASENSHURIKAN!"

The trio just stared in alarm as the giant shurikan flew at them at extremely fast speeds. The white haired boy grabbed his companions, turning all three of them intangible, but the blast was too great still, and all three fell towards the water.

And that wasn't the worst of it for those three.

For now on the shore, Naruto wasn't alone

Joining him was a orange haired youth with a large black sword, a black haired, tanned youth with a straw hat and limbs stretched out unnaturally, a blond in a red jacket who was kind of short, a massive suit of armor, a young girl with gray hair in a black trench coat wielding a scythe and a reddish-purplish haired kid in black and orange clothing that revealed his stomach with a blueish-white scarf. and more were arriving by the minute.

"Anime's" the eyepatch man said in disgust "Deploy Curry to retrieve Squad 21, deploy the League and the Avengers and the X-Men and all other available units, we will not loose this war!"


	40. Exams Begin, so does the end

Review replies...I am just hitting a rough patch right now muse wise when it comes to Naruto. I don't know why, but the stuff isn't flowing like it used to. Or maybe it is just because I am trying to cut down on the X-Over stuff that people complain about at times, while I can't remove it completely for plot reasons I am toning it down a tad.

61394: It almost feels wrong to write like that after Firebird's Son, and perhaps it would be Heaven to him

Bloodedge: Yes, it was Moryo and yes it was Natsu, don't forget Maka too

Archmage: No, they are more or less there to destroy the 'ghost', Kushina in an attempt to save the worlds

_Konoha_

It was one day until the exams began, and everyone was going crazy getting ready for them.

And this crazyiness was not helping Beowulf or Artemis at all

"...The security here is pretty impressive. They're checking over identification papers with background checks, mental screening and probably some sort of chakra trick" Artemis commented from up top a tree with Beowulf and the rest of the Hunter Expedition Force below them.

"And without the mist..." Beowulf frowned "The Ghost is in this village if the information I stole from the Absolution are any indication. While they also indicated that some demon from one of the worlds is also causing the devastation going on, it is easier to track down the Ghost than the demon Moryo"

"Zero hour approaches" one of the hunters, who was part of the communications brigade pointed out "I just got a report that the world of the Sailor Scouts and the world known as Danville have recently been destroyed, bringing the death count to 50. To make matters worse, several of the worlds that remain are spilling into one another and entering conflicts with one another: the Death Eaters are at war with the Transformers, the Pokemon with the Duel Monsters, Yokai had been brought into the Sekirei Game, Rangiku and the last remaining Soul Reapers and Visoreds were captured by the witch Arachne and the hero worlds are on the verge of a war after Nick Fury accidentally got the hero Nightwing killed."

"...Who says that the world just has to blow up to become lifeless, InterWorld Wars might just do it" Artemis frowned "We have to end the linkage quickly"

"...So, what happens if a giant rampaging robot is left behind to blow Hogwarts up?" Beowulf pointed out a potential problem as Artemis took out a bug jar with some sort of minuscule fairy inside.

"We make a wish that everyone goes home, seeing as wishing everything back to normal, the lost worlds restored or the ghost dead, is not withing his power"

"HEY LET ME GO!" a voice yelled from the bug jar "I DIDN'T AGREE TO THIS! I HAVE RIGHTS!"

"...You think the fairy would be grateful" Artemis muttered. If it wasn't in there, it would be gone just like the rest of Fairy World.

_Uzumaki House_

"Okay, pasta party finished...check, Sakura's ninja math book studied, check..." Naruto was going over everything he had done to prepare for the exams at the last minute, which was mostly stocking up on energy potential and in the works, preparing for what his mother described as the 'mental torture' part and other smaller things.

"Naruto?" Hinata's voice rang out as he turned to spy the lavender eyed Hyuga behind him.

Odd, he didn't believe he needed sex today. He was good

Even more oddly, Hiko and Sakura were with her, all dressed for bed as he was.

"Hinata? Sakura? Hiko? Er, while I'm sure it would give Pervy Sage some good story ideas..."

Hinata rolled her eyes

"Get your head out of the gutter Naruto. We're not here for sex"

"Your not..."

"Couples sleep together without sex you know" Sakura pointed out "Just stay clothed in bed..."

"Is that possible?" Naruto asked? Could he sleep in the same bed as his sexual partner, and two other equally attractive young girls his age, and not have sex?

Later that night, Hitomi walked by their room, having gone into the kitchen for a glass of water, and activated her Byukugan as she passed by, curious to see her sleeping child as parents are known to.

She saw the clothed forms of all four of them in Naruto's bed, with Naruto's chakra showing that it had not been recently 'regulated'. Naruto was hugging Hinata like a doll in his arms, while Hiko was hugging him from behind. Sakura was hugging Naruto over Hinata the adorable living doll.

"Cute..." she wished she had a camera without flash. But then again, those were for ANBU black ops, which she was not.

_The Academy, next day_

To most people: Sosuke Uruhara was a simple Genin from the Village Hidden in the Haze, with two other genin from his village in an attempt to give his village some redemption in the reputation arena.

His paper trail, Identification papers and other forms of identity A okayed with the ninja who checked him over.

Of course, 'Tobi' was very good as manipulating minds, leaving evidence and otherwise showing how even the best laid security systems of shinobi and muggle men go awry.

Of course, even the false Madara heir was not immune to being out witted.

He had no idea his little Sasuke was possessed by a power that could, and would, destroy everything to leave the worlds in ruin, even the sole one Tobi cared about.

Of course, the inner demon had a agenda that went against Tobi's, he wanted to ensure that Kushina stayed alive to continue the world linkage, and thus his ability to destroy them and allow Moryo to absorb their energy, while ol Obito wanted to kill Kushina all over again.

But, Sasuke had no idea the true likelihood of him being morally polarized in the near future, was just concerned with destroying Konoha, starting from it's freshest roots.

His true appearance was masked with some tricks he and Tobito had picked up while traveling, so not even those who knew him back when he was cute and nice, like Naruto , did not notice him.

Then again, even if he wasn't masked, Naruto was a bit more busy keeping a lengthy watch on where Gaara and his team were.

Naruto gave a determined, you will not scare me, stare right at Gaara, who gave him back a smirk that would make Charles Manson want to run and hide.

To his credit, Naruto didn't flinch.

"...Naruto" Hinata commented to her favorite Jinchuriki "...about Gaara..."

"...Hey, I did prep for him and everyone else who could possible go after me, even that guy adopted by Might Guy" aka, a pair of 'youth proof' sunglasses

"No, I didn't get a good look at his chakra levels earlier" Hinata told him "His chakra...the closest I've ever seen to it, is yours"

Naruto let that sink in for a bit "You think...he's like me?"

"A homicidal you, perhaps" Sakura pointed out "But can he be another Jinchuriki? Couldn't he just have freakish amounts of chakra, like what the Raikage is rumored to have?"

"...Not unless they have orange chakra" Hinata snarked "Also, there seems to be a few other high chakra levels here, but I can't really tell the exact details...they're all hidden in the masses of average people"

A green haired girl sneezed

"You know, it would help if I could sense other Jinchuriki...Gaara radar or something" Naruto pouted, wishing that the author beleived in that particular fandom belief in the ability of Jinchuriki to sense each other.

"But...if that was true...he could find you anywhere" Hiko whimpered as Naruto paled.

"...I take back what I said, I'm glad that Jinchurik can not sense one another..."

BAM

"SILENCE!" a huge man crashed down from the ceiling in a huge burst of smoke, and finally giving the Academy board a reason to replace their aging floorboards. He had a badass black cloak, a bandana, and looked tough enough to give a rectum exam to the Kyuubi.

Aka, he was Ibiki Morino, lover of torture, BDSM and avid Rabbit breeder.

(Hey, you can't judge a book by its scared and terrifying cover)

"I am the Proctor for the first exam. I don't expect even half of you to come back from it"

**Omake**

**Non Canon**

**A Fanon issue**

"...Stupid council. They are just utter assholes..." Naruto was currently ranting up and down a Crossoverpairinglover studio eating room, before someone spoke up.

"And they don't exist" Ichigo pointed out as Naruto paused.

"Huh...Of course they do. They're a pain in my ass in this studio, and others. BrownPhantoms, Hektols..."

"The Council of Konohagakure exists only in stories. It is not a canonical fact" a turtle with a purple bandana pointed out. "Fans have ideas that turn into all but canon to them: like Anko being Kurenai's BFF, crazy Bisexual and horribly harassed, Sasuke believing he is entitled to everything for being a Uchiha and receiving special treatment, Sakura being a chakra lacking weakling..."

"Wait, why are you turtles here? You're on NextGen, while I'm looking to get some damn recognition" Ichigo yelled at the turtle.

"Hey, I just want some tatter tots" the turtle's lunch tray was covered in them.

"So wait, your saying that some of the facts that I cherish as truth are really just overgrown fanfiction?" Naruto asked the turtle, who nodded

"MY LIFE IS A LIE!"

"...Welcome to my life" Harry Potter passed by Naruto, deadpanning as he took the last Ramen cup "I have it worse than you do. I can't go anywhere without people saying the Dursleys beat and rape me, me ending up with a bunch of house rings or ending up an MultiAnimagi Vampire super robot."

"I still need a story" Ichigo complained.

"And I need to get look up the Avengers 2 villain" Harry noted to himself "Knowing my luck, some idea deprived writer will replace some boring guy no one really liked, like Hawkeye, with me and have the guy blow me up..."

"That is correct, meat puppet" a huge silver robot with red visor marks like a face smashed through the ceiling and blasted a laser at him. The wizard lost his tatter tots in avoiding it

"Can't I just have a Omake meal in peace!?" Naruto demanded as one wizard, soul reaper substitute, ninja and ninja turtle were face to face with a deadly robot conqueror. "And should't the big bad be some giant titan...thing?"

"What can I say...writers are idiots: be they professional or fanfiction writers. They never seem to do the story just right...GETSUGA TENSHO!"


	41. The never cliche Written Exam of Doom

61394: Well Ichigo isn't the only one up for a story in the near future. Moon Heir Ultimate could be one of them

God of All: Thank you

ShadowBlood: I thought it to be a necessary sattire

Red Neo: Thank you

And now, CrossoverPairingLover presents...

**The Test: part 1**

**Take 3 (Take 1 and 2 being the other two versions of it I've done)**

**A constant struggle to make each Written Exam done in a different way than before. **

**Enjoy, and leave a review or two**

"So, does that mean the one on one matches can begin" Gaara asked very, very enthusiastically as Ibiki began laughing.

"Hardly you Ginger" Gaara glared at him "We have something even better"

"Gladiator contests to the death?" Gaara suggested

"Pre created scenario challenge" his female teammate with dirty blond hair in purple asked

"Is it a Knitting challenge" some random ninja spoke up as Ibiki glared at said person.

"THERE IS NO KNITTING IN NINJUTSU!"

"Then what the hell are you going to make us do then?" the black hooded Gaara teammate with purple face paint that was somewhat make up like questioned as Ibiki grinned

"The written test"

"Written Test..." Naruto began in absolute horror, before somewhat calming down at the end as what it was sunk in.

"Oh yes" Ibiki looked far too smug about it "And if you don't do well enough on the written portion, YOU FAIL!"

Naruto gave him a look "No fighting...no fighting..." he suddenly began laughing.

Ibiki looked at the laughing Jinchuriki for a moment, wondering if he had just taken a victim.

He had no idea being free from Gaara for at least round 1 was making Naruto laugh in relief of being safe, for now.

Gaara looked disappointed

Naruto was perhaps the only one happy to be shoved into a classroom, and quite a few people away from Gaara the maimer of cheeky blonds.

"You have exactly one hour to complete questions 1-9. At the end of the hour, I will give you the 10th question which you have only one minute to complete. Failure to complete a single question will result in either severe mental harm...or the loss of your toes"

Ibiki bred Rabbits that had a taste for human flesh for T&I.

"...Where did the leaf find these guys" Kankuro muttered to himself. Did the Leaf have a recruiting office in hell?

"For each time we catch one of you cheating, two points will be deducted from your total score. Having zero points will result in your teams immediate dismissal..."

"THAT ISN'T FAIR!"

"Also, questioning me will result in your immediate dismissal, with your team"

The Kusa Genin was dragged away by one of the ANBU Ibiki had on staff, followed by his two teammates by the other two ANBU spared.

"No food or drinks in the test room. No talking, no doodling, no attempting to kill the competition during the test process, no praying to a god of your choice for mercy or hope and absolutely no suicide until you leave this classroom. You may begin...now"

The examination process began, while Naruto was going into it with some confidence. Unlike most Narutos, he actually understand ninja materials, had a grasp or mathematics and had better coping mechanisms for challenge.

So, this Naruto was perhaps the most capable of taking this exam, while still being Naruto and not a ANBU captain whose name was Naruto but only in name and Hinata's love.

'Okay, question 1..._Một shuriken làm bằng một hợp kim thép với vàng được ném từ năm trăm cm đi vào một hoa anh đào làm lá chắn. Bao nhiêu lực lượng một genin phải đặt trong đá phạt để chôn hai centimers shurikan vào vật liệu_.*' Naruto looked over the first question with horror. He didn't even know what the question was saying!?

Well...the second question at least was at least understandable

'Question 2..._Which is the most successful battle tactic in Ninja warfare._.." Naruto had an answer of it, it was a trick question.

He wrote down 'the art of assassinating the leaders of the country before you even go to war'

They were not going to loose on his sole account. Now, for question 3.

'Question 3_: A possessor of a Kekkei Genkai base elemental release has sexual relations with a possessor of a Kekkei Genkai Dojutsu. Explain the likely hood of the resulting child having an individual, both or neither Kekkei Genkai. Show your work using Short Hand Division, exact Tangent equations and scale models off prime number polygons.'_

Perhaps he spoke too soon. It might just kill him.

_An hour later_

Naruto eventually had an answer down for a few of the questions: those that did not ask for post college level mathematics and understanding off foreign languages.

To Naruto's credit, very few people got even more than half the questions right: Ibiki was really a nasty piece of work. Even the Chunnins he stashed in the exam could barely figure most of the questions right

Half the genin dropped out due to failed cheating attempts, screams of frustrations and attempted suicide.

"So, you've all managed to survive. With half of you still here...I was expecting a maximum survival rate of forty percent" he admitted. "However, now it is time for the tenth and final question..."

He said in an imposing matter as everyone, all of whom looked like a cross between Post Traumatic Stress Disorder afflicted soldiers and those dammed to suffer in an negative afterlife.

"If you get this question right, you will pass even if you had not managed to answer a single question. If you fail this question, you will be forever barred from advancing to chunnin at all!"

As he held out after this wham line like point, about 4 teams: one each from Suna (not Gaara), Kiri, Kumo and Ame, had a member collapse to the ground in utter panic, reducing the pool of future Chunnin.

"What...is one plus one?" he smirked as everyone just gave him an utterly horrified look "Because seriously, a ninja who can't count isn't worth the food they eat, the air they breath or the molecule they are composed of. So, who wants to get to the second exam?"

**Omake**

**Non Canon**

**Pleistocene Park**

"What the hell are they doing here?"

Naruto got dragged off by Sakura and Shino on some tour from CrossoverpairingLover studios to some freezing backwater (Backice?) of Siberia...to see horses?

In fact, a herd of stunted horses were just grazing on some oddly grassy Tundra (Didn't the Tundra consist of, ICE? It seemed far too...habitable to be what Naruto was told of Siberia), while around them also grazed animals that didn't seem to fit in. Bison and Musk Ox were just the two Naruto could see and recognize, while Shino could probably just point to a bush and point out a few dozen insect species that were not supposed to be in this particular death trap of the Siberian Death Expanse.

He actually was taking note of a bush now, scribbling down about bugs.

"Naruto, didn't you read the brochure?" Sakura complained as she began illustrating a drawing of a rabbit.

"Er no. You dragged me on the bus with the false pretense of Ramen, and when I caught the lack of it, you had WilyKit and Wilykat knock me out"

The two tailed Thunderan street urchins waved from a distance too cheerfully as they attempted to catch a wild Wolverine (And not the X-Man). Why they would do something so lethal was beyond Naruto, last he checked they had no healing factor.

"Oh, well..." she had the decency to blush "Hermione and Annabeth told me about the tour first: a project called Pleistocene Park (No relation to Ingen, she quickly added). A group of Researchers wanted to determine that it was hunting, and not climate change, that caused the Megafauna to go extinct"

"Mega Fauna?" Naruto had a sudden vision of the Kyuubi in a herd of giant foxes

"...That means Mammoths, Giant Ground Sloths, Flesh Eating Kakashi Sized birds, ect" Sakura deadpanned "They also hypothesized that the current Lichen covered wasteland that is Siberia is do to their disappearance. So they fenced off a control area with some native species, like Bears and Reindeer, and began to bring in species that were either locally extinct, like the Ox and Wisent Bison, or expies of truly extinct species, like the Horses you see"

"Where are they going to get Flesh Eating Kakashi Sized bird expies anyway? Flesh Eating Sized Edward Elrich birds?" (I HEARD THAT!)

"They aren't. I just gave them as an example: giant flesh eating birds died out in Russia long before the ice age: if they were still around they wouldn't be the problem for the Russians, but for anyone in Texas southwards. Asiatic Lions, Siberian Tigers, Amur Leopards, Bactarian Camels...those are species that have existed in this area, or could survive here, that are replacements for Megafauna. The ultimate goal here would be to let this area be the habitat for recreated Mammoths"

"I thought Ingen only dealt with giant lizard-bird...whatever Dinosaurs were?" Naruto shrugged

"Don't you read the newspaper: non Ingen scientists are on the very threshold of breaking the wall of extinction" Naruto jumped into the air as Annabeth, the blond and tanned demigod added dramatically "Only a few years ago, they managed to restore the Pyrenean Ibex to life for about 7 minutes. Unlike said Ibex, more and better preserved Mammoths are available due to the Arctic Ice, so it is reasonably possible that a Mammoth could be cloned in..." Annabeth looked pensive. "What would come last: Kingdom Hearts 3 or the end of One Piece?"

"...One Piece" Sakura decided

"But what does this even have to do with the studio?" Naruto asked the big question as Deadpool answered for him.

"Isn't it obvious? The writer is a mildly psychopathic loner who, if he ever was to come to global dictatorship order the execution of 100 villagers for every poached Zebra or Sea Turtle or some other cute critter. He obviously wants to point out this somewhat interesting nature project to the fanbase in a way to break the 2,000 word barrier he hasn't been able to do for the last couple of chapters, and be informative!"

"...I suddenly want to see if ShadowBloodedge9363 studios" Naruto paled, as he jumped back, and tripped on something.

It was a little Brown Bear Cub, cute and adorable and all that, said mini super carnivore then began balling as the sounds of something big charging them through the undergrowth was heard, responding to the cub's cries of pain.

"...Would I get arrested if I Rasenganned Mamma Bear?" Naruto asked in terror as he back rapidly backing away from the forest line with Sakura, Annabeth and Deadpool.

"Well, under the Really Cruel Law List of CrossoverpairingLover studios, intentionally harming an animal species whose population is not at least 15 million will result in being locked in the Torture Museum with the Joker, then stabbed with 500 blades all coated in various painful diseases, then dissected by Stein, then made to give Gluttony a Rectum examination, and finally trapped in the shadow realm with Fred." Deadpool explained as the huge mama bear burst out of the trees and attacked.

**!ROOOARRRR!**

"AHHH! MY ARM! STUPID CONTRACT I DIDN'T READ!"

"Hey relax Naruto, you can probably grow it back just like I can...OWW! and will need to"

*** A shuriken made of an Steel Alloy with Gold is thrown from five hundred centimeters away at a cherry blossom made shield. How much force must a genin put in the throw to burry the shurikan two centimers into the material. Vietnamese for a language that is close yet far: sort of like using Swiss to throw off a English person. **


End file.
